Masked Feelings.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Wrote this somewhere in 2010. Just expressing the way I felt. I still kind of feel like this...

Submitted: July 15, 2012

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Submitted: July 15, 2012

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I lock them up and throw away the key.

Metaphorically speaking of course.

Honestly, I could care less about them.

I hate them.

They make me feel weak and I hate sharing them with others.

They lie to me all the time, and sometimes I can't even figure out what they want.

Like, if I choose one thing, I feel bad about not choosing the other.

 

Emotions. Choices.

 

They're going to end me one of these days.

Sometimes I just feel so angry and I wanna beat something into little, itty bitty pieces.

Other times I just wanna cry. Cry and cry and cry and cry even more when no tears can be shed.

A friend of mine always says let them out no matter what, but that's a little hard for me.

I don't like being an open book.

I like being the enigma.

The riddle no one can figure out.

I like keeping others happy, I don't want them to worry about me, but yet I do.

Even then, I try not to let my emotions show.

I rarely show my true emotions.

I like to wear a mask most of time just as I would if I went to a masquerade ball.

This mask is part of me and I only take it off when I'm alone or with a very trustworthy person.

No one hardly knows the true me.

They think they do.

But my emotions are so camouflaged , hidden deep within me.

So deep, that sometimes, even I begin to forget who the real me is.

Sad, isn't it?

Forgetting who you really are...

 

Terrible things have happened to me, yet I keep my emotions concealed.

I have no right to share my emotions when others have gone through way worse than me.

I have a right you say, that I have the right to anything I dang well please?

I told you, keeping others happy and good about themselves is almost a priority.

 

Maybe one day, I'll find the key to my box of emotions, but for now....

For now, I'd rather keep them sealed tightly and not let them escape.

 

© L. Hurley - Rose

 

 


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