I Didn't ask For this

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A short story i wrote a few minutes ago, about a girl in love with two guys and is unable to choose.
Please tell me what you think

Submitted: April 30, 2010

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Submitted: April 30, 2010

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This music has me tripping...slow, even four beat bars. Acoustic guitar with an electric. The vocalist sounds as if she’s falling asleep while she sings, normally I would have hit ‘next’ immediately...but not tonight. Tonight my IPod is playing in sync with my emotions as it always seems to.
Don’t ask me what the weather is like, i wouldn’t know…I haven’t opened a window or door in this house in the past 48 hours. Not since he left. I’m scared if I touch the door handle I’ll ruin the last thing he touched before he left and walked out of my life.
His clothes are thrown into a bag on the floor, he said he’d be here to pick them up today. He didn’t say what time he’d come or if he’d call, but all that is certain is when he does come…he’ll find me where he left me, lying on the floor of the passage, looking at the door.
 
My face feels tight and dirty from the tears that ran down the same path on my cheek, the floor under me is damp and cold. My eyes feel swollen and are burning, they stopped producing tears about a hour ago. And now my body is numb. I couldn’t get up if I wanted to. Not until I have that hand that was always there to help me up.
 
Shit. My battery died. My music is gone and the silence is creeping in now to attack me. I’m trying to sing or at least hum a tune, but my throat is dry and I cannot even speak. Now that the silence Is here, it isn’t too bad. Silence wants to be my friend, it wants to know what’s wrong. It sits beside me and asks me why he left, and I think to myself ‘I deserved it’. Why? ‘I fell in love with someone else, while I was still in love with him.’ Now silence is quiet, shaking it’s head. ‘ That probably wasn’t the best thing to do’ it says. ‘I know’ I think ‘But I didn’t ask for this, it just happened and before I knew it, I was in love with two amazing guys…and when I had to choose I couldn’t. So he made the decision for me. But I guess I know now who I should have picked.’ I wait for silence to reply….but it doesn’t. I shake my head and tell myself that I am crazy.
 
I hear a car pulling into the driveway, I know the sound of his car anywhere…there’s hesitation before I hear the door open and then be shut closed as if he is angry. The door handle turns and opens, I wonder how he knew I hadn’t locked the door.
He walks in, not noticing me at first. Closing the door behind him, he looks down and sees me looking up at him from the floor. He snorts in disgust and says, ‘Have you been lying there since Friday?’ he stands waiting for a reply, but I couldn’t get my mouth to open, I had no control over my body actions. He shakes his head, ‘you’re pathetic’ and he walks past me to our, now my, room. Without telling my body to do so, it gets up, my legs shake as they try to recall how to balance. My feet lead me to where he is, he’s standing over the bed packing his things. I try to clear my throat and say something…but nothing comes out. My feet walk closer till I’m standing directly behind him…and just like that my tears come back, I have fallen to the floor at his feet crying, screaming. For a moment it is if I am completely alone again. But then I feel myself being lifted into the air, a arm under my knees and a arm holding my back to rest me on a chest I know so well, cradling me like a baby…’I choose you! Just don’t ever leave me again!’ I whisper. He is quiet and I can hear his heart beating at an unusually fast pace, as Is mine.
‘I love you Jay…I promise I’m never going to leave you again.’
And just like that it was as if the cloud that had covered my heart for this time had been removed and the world was a happier place again…
 
*
 
I’m waiting for Mikey to arrive, I’m outside his house, and he isn’t home yet. He doesn’t know I’m coming or that I am going to tell him we can’t be together anymore. His blue Mini-Cooper pulls up behind mine, my heart sinks as he gets out of the car smiling, happy to see me. He runs up to my car and opens the door and pulls me out of the driver’s seat into his arms. ‘I’ve missed you so much Jay! Why haven’t I heard from you?’
I take a deep breath before saying anything. ‘Can I come inside?’ he nods, taking my hand and leading me into his house. ‘I told him about you’ I said when we got inside, his face was immediately wiped of all joy and he was suddenly serious. ‘And?’ he said.
‘He made me choose. I had to choose between you or him.’
‘Who did you choose?’ His voice was shaky and his eyes tearful, resembling how I had looked yesterday, when I thought I had lost him. I chickened out then. I couldn’t say goodbye to Mikey or him, I couldn’t walk away from the relationships I had with both of them so instead of telling him the truth I said, ‘I didn’t choose’ I took a breath, ‘Well I told him I chose him, but I cant give you up …not anymore. I’m sorry.’ He pulled me into his arms, embracing me in one of the best feelings I had in the world. ‘Don’t apologise, not to me Jay. You know I’m fine with this, just having you, even though you’re not officially mine. I understand.’ I stared up at his face and smiled. He was amazing, the most amazing guy ever.
 
*
I didn’t ask to fall in love with two people. But I did. And with two people who are totally different from one another. Where he falls short, Jake makes up for and the other way round too. I know they say there’s a soul mate for everyone…
What if somewhere written in the ‘Soul mates Assignment Book’ there was a mistake and I was given two instead of one?
There’s no way I can be happy anymore unless I stay in this situation. Silence keeps telling me I am selfish…that’s why you’ll never find me without Music.


© Copyright 2018 Ruby Rae. All rights reserved.

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