Special Child- A God's Gift

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
It focuses on my experiences as a mother of a Special Child which are both a Challenge as well as a Blessing.

Submitted: January 16, 2014

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Submitted: January 16, 2014

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SPECIAL CHILD – A GOD’S GIFT

 

“Bringing up a child with Special needs is both a Challenge and a Blessing”, truly said. It is a life full of events, some good and some bad and I suppose the bad overpowering the good. It is very difficult to discuss such issues with anyone. People around can neither comprehend  nor even wish to attempt trying to comprehend what it is to be such a parent.

Parents of such angels have to fight at two levels: Inside and Outside. I read in an online article on the web that the parents of these angels feel JEALOUS. This is very true. I feel the same when I see children of my daughter’s age doing things that she can’t do. And the feeling becomes more because she studies in a school of Normal children and she is told not to participate in events like other children do because she cannot be quick or agile like other children. It is not only difficult to accept this but also difficult to explain the child that why she is not allowed to do so. It creates a helplessness which is very difficult to explain to anyone.

Another emotion which such parents have to fight with is their LONELINESS. It is very lonely out there. When Moms discuss their children’s development you cannot be a part of that conversation because your child does not develop like that. In this aspect my loneliness is even more because I am a single parent. I separated from my husband. But even when I was married I was lonely so don’t even have a life partner who can at least offer a shoulder to lean on when you are tired.

I am often Scared too that maybe what I am doing for her is not enough. Staying in an orthodox country like India, people believe the remedy to all disorders is in the world of chants and magic created by fakirs and priests. They believe less in Medical Science and when you do not listen to these somewhere you have this hidden fear that maybe if you agreed to the advices and treatments of such fakirs and priests, the process of cure would be faster. But then the logical and sensible mind protests and again you are lonely and scared deep inside that maybe you are doing Injustice to your child.

 

Another very poignant circumstance which I (and I am very sure) other Indian parents maybe facing too is the non co-operation and failure of understanding by their own kith and kin, those with whom we live. They make comments like:-

“You can’t even do this?”, “ She cannot be handled by anyone else” or “She will not be able to do this”.

In western countries things are better because children are staying alone with their parents and individual space can be given to these angels to grow up at their own pace but in India where we stay in joint families like I do, my child faces another challenge which is the comparison with their own cousins. Not only the elders even such children themselves want to prove themselves to be as competent as their siblings and hence come under stress.

I have pointed out so many challenges but there is one big BLESSING too of being the parents of special needs children. It has made me understand what TRUE LOVE IS. It is loving your child unconditionally. All parents feel that when they grow old their children will take care of them. But the parent of a special needs child cannot expect that and yet you love your child. That is true love. And the LOVE reciprocated by such angels to their parents is a blessing. They know their parents take more pains than normally parents do and hence they love their parents twice, thrice………so many times more. This is TRUE LOVE.

I AM BLESSED TO HAVE A SPECIAL DAUGHTER.

 

 


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