You Are Murdered!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: June 14, 2019

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Submitted: June 14, 2019

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Murdered! I woke up at that sound, but wait ... it wasn't some odd person trying to sneak into my homeless encampment, or break into my home at all, it was actually just that I hear voices ... quite a bit really. You might say constantly. So I went to my neighbor's house, and mowed his lawn some. Well I mowed the whole thing and then he came to me and said. 
"Yes, that is it, thanks for mowing my lawn but you are ... most certainly murdered. Here, come with me."
"Are you serious?" I said.
"Yes, and I will be the one to do it!" Said my neighbor Joe.
"I just mowed your lawn, don't you think that is good enough after all?" I said.
"Oh well yes. The lawn is fine but I am going to get you, and soon, here come with me." Said Joe.
He pointed to the basement, or ya' know one of those hurricane shelter's where he was most likely to burry me so I just lowered my sweaty brow after all of that hard work and took to the basement. You would think that I would fight or something but ya' know, with the voices, and all, maybe I just sort of believed him. 
What a day. I wake to the sound of murder in my head and go to help out my friend or ya' know someone that I thought was my friend and mow his lawn, ya' know just to brighten up his day a little when all of a sudden it hits me like a dime nail that this could be the day.
The basement opened with a creek and he followed me in. I looked for the gun, or the guillotine, and just hoped for something quick ya' know when all I did see was a computer. 
"Ok neighbor, let's just get this over with I have had a really bad day." I said.
"Well let me show you something." He said.
It wasn't really exactly what I was expecting that he turned on the computer to kill me. 
"So what's this all about I thought that you were going to murder me." I said.
"Oh yes. Yes indeed you will soon meet your end! Do you notice this image?" Said my neighbor.
I wasn't really astounded at all when on his old junky computer he pulled up an image of my house. 
"So, yes, yes I see, you plan to kill me in my home?" I said, sort of understanding but really having a bad day and all at the same time and I will most assuredly tell you that these voices are real and that aerial photography of the home is prolific, but not really astounding to me at this time. 
"Yes you are doomed! I do intend to kill you and I will let you know that I am building a missle in my very backyard to kill you!" Said my neighbor Joe.
"Oh ... well I see this is most certainly horrible and you do look so advanced with your satellite imagery." I said.
"Satellite imagery, what do you think that I am rich or powerful? I rented a plane and took the pictures myself." He said.
"Ah yes ... I see."
"I used up nearly all of my resources for these pictures and I am most certainly now going to build a giant missle or one just large enough to blow you up! Ha ha ha ha ha." An evil menacing laugh.
"Okay Joe so you are going to murder me by building a giant missle in your backyard and shoot me from next door even though I just mowed your lawn? Sounds sort of silly doesn't it?" I said with some sort of relieved sound I guess but I was still a little depressed because I was hearing all of these voices and they were crying out bloody murder all day long.
"Yes, you are doomed, as soon as I learn math and engineering and can actually build this missle you are fucked!" He said.
"Okay Joe, no big deal you are going to murder me, I will be back when the lawn needs to be mowed again but don't be surprised if it get's a little long."

 

 

 


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