Greatest Advice Ever

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A lot of people give good advice.. but if you're looking for the greatest advice.. then look no further.

Submitted: May 15, 2014

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Submitted: May 15, 2014

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Greatest Advice Ever

I know I sound usually biased in most of these chapters (best friends, best family, best team etc.) and this chapter is no different.  I am here to give you the greatest advice ever.  Period.  Now in an unbiased and probably correct point of view, this probably isn’t the greatest advice ever but in my opinion it works like a charm.

Everyday everyone I know asks me for advice on serious issues with their lives that require highly knowledgeable advice.  Knowing me, if you believed that last statement than you need advice on a thing called being gullible.  I think the most important thing anybody has ever asked me advice on has to be either, “Hey bro I’m at the gas station, what beer should we get,” or “What should I name my dog?”  Needless to say, don’t come at me for advice if it’s more serious than “Is it too hot outside for a sweatshirt?” 

Think about all the times you’ve been asked for advice.  Think about all the times that the person who asked you for advice actually 1. Paid attention 2. Remembered what you said and 3. Actually used your advice.  For me, this almost never happened.  I mean, even in the view of the person receiving advice, I almost rarely did these things.  I’m not here to say that your advice isn’t worthy or isn’t right.  I’m here to say that the majority of people are stubborn and are going to do what they want to do regardless of what anybody tells them.  For example, I’m at the bar with a group of my friends when one asks, “Hey should I go talk to that girl over there?”  Now despite the advice we give our friend such as “She’s way out of your league,” “I think that’s our one friend’s ex,” “She’s just going to use you to buy her drinks,” our friend still goes up to talk to that girl.

Knowing the human’s inability to listen to what other people tell you, I’ve developed over time what has come to be known as the greatest advice ever.  This advice is simply, “You’ll be alright.”  Now you’re probably thinking that this has to be the most pointless advice ever, but let me explain first.  I just went over how people in the end will do what they want no matter what advice is given.  So give them that advice that their probably going to ignore because you never know, they might actually listen.  But when you’re done giving them your advice add a harmless, “You’ll be alright” line at the end.

When receiving advice, the most important thing is being reassured.  Telling a person that, “You’ll be alright,” gives them this reassurance that they wanted in the first place.  It gives them the confidence that in the end no matter what they do, they will be alright.  Is this true, that in the end they will definitely be alright?  No, but you have no control over that “in the end” outcome other than the influence of your advice.  So in the advice you give make sure you tell them in the end that “You’ll be alright.”  They might not be alright, but hey for that second or so when you say this, they’ll be alright and your advice officially now has some purpose. 


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