The Field of Gold

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
The creation of someone I once knew and a dedication to all those that are no longer a part of this world

Submitted: July 04, 2012

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Submitted: July 04, 2012

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There is a field, a field far away from my home, where a boy's life changed forever. This field is golden and empty but for a single willow tree, a beautiful willow tree, older than the world that now surrounds it with noise and obscures its precious sunlight with tall houses and noxious fumes. In that old tree there is a house, an old house beaten and broken, falling to pieces. The house was built an eternity ago by a young boy and long ago another young boy a long way from home tried to save it from ruin and escape into a world all his own; but as he grew older he forgot the decrepit house in the old tree surrounded by the golden field.

One day the young boy came back to the tree as a completely different boy, a boy no longer filled with hope and imagination; a boy now filled with sadness, loneliness, and a failing grip on his world... Laying under the collapsed roof he once tried to save he wondered about life and why he should stay. He wondered if his life would ever be meaningful; he longed for adventure, for love, for loss and pain; he longed for anything other than bleak nothingness. The boy had long ago forgotten what it was like to feel anything apart from apathy and he no longer believed he could get back to where he was a long time ago; a boy filled with wonder trying to save a failing old house in an old tree surrounded by a sea of gold.

It was there that the boy met a girl, a girl filled with the hope and wonder he once knew despite a harder past than he could ever imagine. The girl forced herself into the boy's world surrounded by tall thick walls as easily as she climbed into the broken down house in the gorgeous old tree surrounded by gold that paled in comparison to her daunting beauty. The girl changed this boy's life forever in all the ways he had wished; she gave him friends that were just like him, she gave him love, and in the end she gave him loss and insurmountable pain... She also gave him things he had never wished for; she gave him vices that made him forget the world he ached to leave, she gave him the ability to fix anything with the only catch being the slow deterioration of his soul...

When the girl left him forever he lost himself in a deeper abyss than she had pulled him from long ago in a broken house in an aging tree surrounded by the field of gold... He tried to forget what she had taught him; he tried to forget what it was like to love, what it was like to feel, what it was like to belong... And when he couldn't he moved as far away from that field, and all the other reminders of her, as he could get. There he was haunted day and night by the ghosts of a world long gone, a world that embodied all he had ever wanted; he finally learned what it was like to have your every wish granted, he finally learned that when you have all that you wish you will only want more and that your greed will only cause you to lose everything you have gained... The boy vowed to never lust after a life imagined again, to never wish for what he once had, and with that the boy descended into a life of nothing but abyss... The boy depended on only vices and kept those that he loved at a safe distance from his vicious volatile pain... The boy isolated himself and medicated himself into a manageable stupor where the monsters could only scratch the surface instead of ripping his broken barely beating heart from his scarred chest. The boy was so lost that he refused help, he refused to return to a world of joy for fear of losing everything once again. He pushed away friends who cared more for him then they cared for themselves, he pushed away love that would rather die than lose him; instead he did all he could to leave this world despite everything he had... But the ones who loved him always saved him before the infinite abyss swallowed him forever...

This is the story of the creation of a boy who never knew why he was, who never knew why he should try, who never understood the point of this silly world. This boy is only here because of people who believed, despite his shortcomings, that this boy has a purpose and this boy is both thankful and resentful of these people. This boy has loved and lost too many times. This boy's life has been ruined by his own hand at every turn. This boy is at war with himself. Yet somehow this boy manages to keep going; he manages to defeat the lurking monsters every day and keep moving towards the day where he can subdue them once and for all. The run down house in the old tree surrounded by the sea of gold where this boy became who he is today may have been torn down long ago and replaced by a neighborhood of look-alike houses occupied by robotic look-alike members of society, but the boy keeps going while the long-lost memory of this forgotten place lives in his mind, the boy keeps trying to find himself and lives to remember those who gave everything they had, even their lives, in order for this boy to find his purpose...

On behalf of this boy I would like to thank everyone either living or dead for the impact you had on this boy's life; I only wish that the number of the dead would quit rising... R.I.P everyone who I will never see again; to everyone else, stay strong because together we will find out what our purposes are.


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