The Burrowing Bohemian

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
In a scene straight out of a mystery film, a female passenger ducks into a cab and lays down in the back seat. "Just drive!"

Submitted: October 01, 2013

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Submitted: October 01, 2013



It was late in my shift when I stumbled onto a local ride, destination unknown. I didn't learn how unknown, until much later. The pick-up address was a local motel.


What kind of motel?


Let me put it this way. The police get a call there almost every night. It's a very small motel and any drug(s) you need can be purchased there.


As I pulled my taxi into the motel's driveway, I kept that in mind. I was on high alert and noticed the parking lot was empty. Only one or two cars were ever parked there and if I needed a quick getaway, it would be relatively simple. I don't like complications.


By complications, I mean drug dealers, muggers, carjackers, or hoodlums.


A woman in her late twenties scurried over to my cab and quickly got in. She immediately lay down in the seat and began rocking back and forth. With her head resting near the door window, she was facing me and began giving me instructions:


"Go, please!"

"Hi. How are you doing?”

“Just drive!”

“Where are we going?”

“I don’t care, just drive!”

“Okay, whatever you say.”


So I drove. After a few minutes, curiosity got the better of me. I asked her what was wrong. She told me she wasn't feeling well, and she must have some sort of "flu-bug."


Every thirty to sixty seconds, she quickly sat up, blip! and looked outside. She looked through the passenger-side window, blip! the rear window, blip! and the driver-side window blip!.


After looking in all directions, she dipped back down in the seat, blip! and heaved a sigh of relief.


To anyone watching nearby, my taxi had transformed and taken on the appearance of a Whac-A-Mole game, played at arcades and carnivals everywhere


Now you should have a picture in your mind what my amusement center on wheels looked like from a distance.


The Whac-A-Mole game resumed.


Business was slow that night and I was slightly amused with my passenger's antics. Besides, the burrowing beauty was a nice distraction from the usual routine. I felt like I should have been putting some quarters into a slot.


If I can only remember where I put that padded mallet!


We stopped off at a number of different apartment buildings. We couldn't find anyone who would give my frantic friend lodging for the night. The diva of dips and dives continued instructing me.


Blip! "Go back to the motel!” Blip!

“Okay, you’re the boss.”

Blip! “Let me know when we're there!” Blip!


When we got back to the motel, I noticed several police cars in the parking lot. A lot of activity was brewing in front of the room my restless rodent emerged from earlier. I told her what I saw, and she reacted as if the back seat had electricity racing through its springs.


Blip! “Keep going!” Blip!

“Which way do you want me to go?”

Blip! “I don’t care! Just go!” Blip!


We ended up at an apartment building, where she found a friend who could give her room and board for the night. We had driven around the city for about two hours and ended up a whopping one mile away from the motel.


Nevertheless, I was given some additional insight while spending time with my panicky passenger. During the last leg of our adventure, she divulged some classified information to me.


Earlier at the motel, she got into a fight with her boyfriend. When he realized the situation was hopeless, he became infuriated and called the police. He knew the mysterious mole had an outstanding warrant and the boys in blue would be very curious about it.


Finally, it all made sense to me, as we arrived to our final destination for the evening.


Blip! "How much do I owe you?" Blip!


I told her the amount and she got out of the cab. After paying the fare, she thanked me and I answered, “No problem, any time.”


As she walked away, I expressed my best wishes to her in the only way I knew how,.....with sarcasm. “I hope you're feeling better! Take care of that flu bug!"


I didn't get any response. I looked around, and didn't see her anywhere. She disappeared as quickly as she had appeared.


I don't know where she is now, but I'll bet she's busy digging another hole for herself.

© Copyright 2019 Bobby Bazoo. All rights reserved.

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