Snowflakes started to fall quietly around the young couple. It was a picture perfect moment, the kind that only ever happens in a movie. I started walking away, not wanting to ruin such a tender moment between two of my closest friends. I'll never have that kind of moment in my life. I had hurt the one I loved and I can't ask for forgiveness, even if it is Christmas Eve.
The trek home was long and cold. Couples pass me by hand-in-hand, laughing, hugging, kissing, completely oblivious to my solitary existence. My chest tightens and tears threaten to fall. I lifted my head up, took a deep breathe, and walked on. Around this time many children are tucked in their beds, dreaming of sugar plums; hoping that Santa will soon be here. Their parents hold each other close, whispering softly "I love you." and falling asleep in each others arms, while I am alone in freezing cold.
I'm okay alone. I'd rather be alone and live in a peaceful, quiet world with no one around me, to care or love me. But why do I lie to myself. I hate being alone, but there is nobody out there who loves me or even acknowledges my very existence in this cold, cruel world.
I reach into my pocket to extract my apartment key, but instead i find a little heart shaped locket that had been long forgotten. A memory stirred my heart and I start to cry. It's a picture of us, smiling, laughing, making funny faces into the camera whilst holding each others hands. Our summer together, that day feels like a distant memory, long forgotten. Feelings of remorse and regret overflow my being as I fall to my knees and sob into my hands. I regret breaking up with you. I wish that you were here with right now. That's all I wish for this Christmas, so please. Please, come back to me...
© Copyright 2016 Sakura Oshita. All rights reserved.
Essay / Romance
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