Sitting on the floor of a hot shower and there’s nothing to do but think.
One more time I think of you and one more time I feel my heart sink.
Drown me in gasoline, light a match to take the pain away
It’s all I want to do when I think about it day after day
Please take the pain away
And when I think about the endless fights
And all the needless beating
I can say I miss you less
But these scars on me will never heal
I’m an unbelievable mess
I hate you for the things you’ve done
It’s impossible to forgive
How can I ever forget the things you made me believe when we first met?
I was an utterly naive fool
To let myself get used like that
Cut my throat and drink the life to take the pain away
Please take the pain away
I can’t take it anymore
The endless thoughts and boundless pain
I want to know what its like to feel the sunshine again
When I’m locked up in the dark recesses of my mind
The memories come rushing back every single fucking time
Memories of when I was scared and wanted it all to end
Reminiscent of the times we shared
Realizing now the idea of happiness was all inside my head
A pipe dream doesn’t mean a thing
When all you can do is cry
So I took back all my shit and gladly said goodbye
But the wounds still are open
Being lacerated every night
Looking back at it now, how did I let you convince me you were right?
You told me it was all my fault
And I was just a whore
Never deserving of any love
And that being with me was such an awful chore
But you still said that you loved me
And that you couldn’t understand
You told me if I left,
No one else would ever hold my hand
The lies infiltrated my mind
And got inside my head
It was your voice I heard for so long
That told me I’d be better dead
And sometimes I still hear it
The whispers in my mind
They tell me I’m not good enough
That I’ll never be worth anybody’s time
Yet whenever someone asks me
I tell them at that I’m fine
Put on that fake smile
They are accustomed to seeing all the time
Little by little, each gesture corrodes my soul
Who knew a little laugh could take such a damn toll?
Fuck those happy faces
Of all those people in love
How come it seems like I was never good enough?
When happiness falls into their hands.
I’ve learned I can live without
We all survive in some shape or form
When we are growing and our hearts are torn
Thrown onto the floor to see
Our souls exposed, mind shattered to little pieces
All seeming to be completely without reason
And all we know and all we see
Is how fucked up with think we are
Longing to find someone who could relate
Someone to show our scars to
Someone to share our fate
But I know that isn’t possible
I won’t count on anything
Because the one thing you taught me was
To not hope for anything
I know now you never loved me
I wish I could say the same
© Copyright 2017 Sally Myth. All rights reserved.
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