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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
A long poem I wrote in 2001.

Submitted: December 21, 2009

A A A | A A A

Submitted: December 21, 2009



(i. Descent) 

Venture out away from civilization 
Take the only road I knew 
Search for a dwelling to bury myself 
Like a hermit to his cave 
To vent all the emotions consuming him 
Searching for a creative outlet to release his forgotten energies 
We all have the hermit within us 

See reality fading in the background 
I will not be followed into my descent 
My face shows I am here and attentive to your world 
My heart is with those I love 
And my mind... 

You cannot see me leave... 

(ii. Mirrored Daydreams) 

I stopped to see you where emotions and logic collide 
Sitting in your rocking chair staring into the abyss 
Hiding behind those that fight for the dominant position 
Fearful to take a stance on what cannot be understood 
Choosing not to speak up to defend those who fight for truth 

I sat with you a while 
You swore understanding could never build a bridge between us 
Said the end result was all we could share 
Is not the end result the bridge in itself? 
I am just like you 
Nothing like you 
Do not patronize me; you only patronize yourself 

Put faith in that which makes the least amount of sense 
Then dissipate the path that leads to the answer 
The only exception to the rule contradicts where your faith lies 
Yet you still believe... 

Dead to your words being as stubborn as you 
Wanting to ask for your hand for comfort 
Feeling safe in your eyes for that one brief moment 
Look away so you do not see my emotions 
Will you once again attack me for wanting my heart to speak? 

Ask you to come along; I need a friend 
You turned me down saying I needed to journey alone 
Who are you to tell me what I need? 
Someone I love and when the time comes I will obey 
For now, I kiss your hand and bid you farewell 
Will not leave you with my emotions 
But, should I never return I ask you know the truth... 

You cannot see me feel... 

(iii. Release) 

Empty billboard on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere 
This is where I will post my dreams 
Paint the background with my blood 
Paste up my soul 
Write the words I've been waiting to say to everyone 

You cannot see me 
You cannot hear me 
You cannot laugh at my inevitable failures 

The road has not been traveled on in years 
I am sure no one will come my way 
The sign will crack and peel just as all dreams eventually do 
Ideas mean nothing if they are not harnessed and shared 
Mine are wasted in my mind 
Maybe for the best 
I expect no one would care 

Degraded to the point where I must advertise myself 
Wanting someone to drive by 
Wanting no one to travel here 
Conflict of interest in this state of mind 
Why does a shred of hope remain? 

Get into my car and drive away 
Slowly slipping back into civilization, reality 
Leave behind the billboard filled with my dreams 
Leaving my mind empty, my body hollow 
Repress the memories of childhood that created all I lost 
Whatever is left... society will destroy just as it has my imagination 

You cannot hear me think... 

(iv. Masked Nightmares) 

Sat in a tub of your blood 
With you so far away, functioning perfectly 
I picked up your vein and drank from its flow 
Cannot have you any other way 
I rid myself of all that I am 
Now I am just a body laying here hoping you will save me 

You are no where to be found, dead to me 
My tears delude the blood below taking away your essence 
Showed me the way then abandoned your student 
Said you did not care I love you 
Council me then refused my returns 
Scared of what I have become and what you already are 

Took a club of thorns to the back of my head 
Sprinkled a bit of acid on my skin 
Kicked out my knees and made me suck you dry 
Conveyed how others would do better than I 
Can you conceive the pain you added to my soul? 
Increased at a rate far beyond anyone's means 

Never stop flowing through me 
Let me close the door 
I know this is not real 
Do whatever you like to my body, my mind, my spirit 
I will not judge you for something you will never do 
Venture into the dark places of your mind 
Sadomasochist gently scraping the knife through my chest 
There has to be beauty in this 
I am no longer afraid 

You cannot see me dream... 

(v. Compound) 

Wait for the phenomenon to eat through my veins 
Combine daydreams and nightmares into reality 
Explanations of the world never reveled through verbal means 
Majestic answers spiral out of control through your touch 

I have rid myself of irrational crusades fueled by my emotion 
Are you ready to tear your eyes from the abyss? 
Love still remains, but I will not express my regrets 
It is not an error 
It is the only thing left within me worth fighting for 

Energies slowly draining from my feet, flowing out into the fire 
All I asked from you was to speak up for once 
Now we sit in mass confusion sorting out feelings 
Categorizing that which may never be said 
Wishing for one more chance at the past 
Never stopping to think what it may do for our future 

Let me see your hand so I may shape it like a cup 
Do not move 
It is the place where I will store my tears 
Use it as water to help breathe new life into this world 
Some good must come from the pain felt within 

Can you love me for who I have become, 
Or did you love me for who I already was? 
Perhaps love was never given at all... 
At my core I am the same 
See your light shining outward even though you desperately try to hide 
Do not look away 
So many splendors does not deserve to be hidden from the world 
Forgive my outward gestures for I cannot hold it in any longer 

No assumptions this time...  can you feel me love? 

(vi. Ascent) 

Venture back into civilization 
This road has become a wave of thought, a new fourth-dimensional world 
Leave behind the asylum to shelter forgotten dreams 
Like a child to adulthood 
To survive in a world which will only oppress him 
Searching for a companion to share in his forgotten energies 
We will always have the child within us 

See reality emerge in the foreground 
I slowly creep back in to complete my ascent 
My face shows I am here and attentive to your world 
My heart is with those I love 
And my mind... 

You can now see me smile... 

© Copyright 2020 samadhi. All rights reserved.

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