A Day in an Idyllic Reality

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic

A day of my life, wherein I try to escape reality in all kinds of ways.

Never was the scission so big. Never had I desired so much. If I got the choice, my decision would be clear. My soul would be ready to fly. Reality hasn’t done my life good. Nothing more than obligations and facts. I’ve build up a personality that has witnessed mankind’s stupidity. A gorge between reality and fantasy I find myself in every day. The will to escape has found me. Whatever my destiny is, it is not going to continue in lies and disfigures. My hopes and dreams are unlikely to create a difference, so why aim at a failed prospective? I have to become real in an unreal world in order to make my believe come true. A virtual idea which is out of existence.

I want my body to float in the spirits of the water, brightened light blue by the sun. I want fields of rose blossom trees to surround me with beauty as I enjoy warmth oozing onto my skin. The brightness of the sun would make a perfect picture. I want the feeling of sweet and pure oxygen clearing my soul. I Want to swim through crystal tunnels without crossing lines with the dark spirits of reality. No matter how many needles of pure insensitivity shatter my being, I will manage to mentally step out one day. A sea will be opened for my mind to find peace.

Black Morning

The sound of my alarm stabs another knife through my stomach. The feeling of another Monday ruled by total pointlessness of ignorant people. Another school week followed by the rest of my life which seems to be promising nothing. Nothing but statements which won’t let the echo of my fantasy resound against the emptiness of my life. Although school keeps me busy from being extremely lonely in my own philosophy, it still puts me under great social anxiety. Something very few people will understand. Not being able to function as long as there are many judgmental eyes walking though the school corridors, is painful. Mentally. A fear that doesn’t seem to end. More like social torture.

I pushed the radio clock off twice before I manage to sit upright. Leaving the temple of sleep is one of the hardest things to do on a casual Monday morning. Not because my tiredness holds me back, but because I get dragged harshly away from my inner conscious world, to the outside. From heavenly dreams, to malicious facts. From fantasy to reality.
Forcedly, I push my body out of bed and make it put on some clothing. Time has again taken a grip on my life.

The vapor of my hot raspberry tea is stroking my face. The smell brings up an image of a vast flowered landscape in the gardens of heaven. Its warmth opens my pores and gives me a fervent shiver, allowing the cup to be the energy source of my body. A core that warms up my soul.
Time calls me out of myself and forces my attention to focus on not being late for school.

The gorge between reality and fantasy is already shrinking again as I wait for the bus. I have no other thoughts than sorrow roaming through my head. Although I feel relieved every time school comes to an end, I know the contemporary circle of mentally trying to get my head up will eventually kill me anyways. I want to get out of my obligations of helping to build a future for mankind, which basically means ruining the value of the earth.

As I glaze into the fog, I capture four headlights coming towards me. The lights slowly reveal the vehicle. I take a step forward so he’d notice me though this blurry climate.
The door slides open before my feet while a warm sensation welcomes me in and leads me to a seat. The bus is illuminated by a warm light. People are sitting comfortable in their seats while fatigue has still got a grip on their eyes. I step to the back. Cozily, I snuggle myself into a corner. As I look outside, I notice the skies are getting a pink hue, reflecting on the misty streets.
A woman with a flower in her hair complements me on my necklace; a Wicca star which symbolizes white magic as a paranormal force of nature. I thank her politely.

The clouds begin to look more like cotton candy as the humming of the wheels are slowly losing their sound. My hearing stops functioning. A happy feeling somehow makes the darkness fade away. I feel like the bus is lifting off, like altitude is increasing. My eyes are getting brighter as the bus drives into an enormous clear light. The light of heaven.

I stop dreaming. I’ve missed the bus. The gorge wasn’t that small after all.

Tiring Afternoon

I walk. I walk purely through the school hallway which is filled with creatures who don’t respect their selves or others. Busy with making themselves happy. A monstrous propagation of evil creatures who benefit their own needs. They don’t see the point of living. They see the point of nothing. Wisdom is only shared with thinkers. The rest are supplies used for the earth’s plan to destroy humanity. Slowly and wisely, destroying evil.

I want to shut myself out as far as possible. People today are too evil and not nice to each other. They lost their sense of being civilized by bringing their own physical being to the headline and molesting anyone whom they feel of more value to.

Why shut myself out as one of the few clear thinkers, instead of eliminating all the rest? Because improving life isn’t legit anymore. That’s one clear proof that the human race has poisoned the earth. Only earth itself nowadays has the power to thin out civilization.

This day, along with the rest of earth’s days, isn’t about breeding compassion. It’s about making yourself as considerable as possible towards 7 billion other people.

Luminous Evening

The grief for a better life overflows my head with philosophic thoughts that I voice into the void of my room. I don’t know why, but somehow I have the feeling that something or someone is listening. Covering my head with sheets and pillows makes me feel departed from the world. But the cover can’t hold the demons out, because they mostly live inside my head. Pounding and wrecking the ability to accept life as it is. I just cannot live through a normal day. Sleep numbs my body, but leaves my head struggling with horrifying nightmares which are clearly linked to my intolerance to civilization.

Tonight I will try to dig deeper. My conscious is clear. My need to escape is increasing. Instead of covering my head and caging my body in order to shield the world, I want to break out. A new feeling starts to build up as I escape through my window. A curious feeling, although I don’t know what I’m curious about. On my bare feed I wobble across the streets, between the traffic, though the forest, onto the empty grass fields.

I’m surrounded by void. Cold void that has reserved a place for me on the grass. Thinking this might be only place where the air isn’t disturbed by streetlights, I sit and look at the tiny holes through the holes of heaven. A moment of relief. My escape from time has succeeded. The comfortable silence numbs me in my own comfort. No anxiety. No people. Lovely.

Outside the embracement of the forest, there still exists a hypocritical community where I still live in black deepness. A hole that can be filled with imaginary hopes and dreams, but is eventually left empty. I constantly battle against the idea of people getting pushed with their noses into the pools of rationalism. A constant flow against the participation in the army of society’s puppets.

Reality can’t be escaped the ignorant individual says. “It makes us strong.” If killing my willing to live, downscaling my image of a beautiful life and ripping apart my future is making me strong, then modern people are untaught about the true essences of life. If we find the right physically ability, combined with the perfect proportion of searching idea’s, it is possible to escape time and turn it into something more abstract.

My mind goes to the galaxies way beyond everything. A universe which has absolutely no value to the minds of our own. Beautiful networks of wonders that we know nothing about. They seems to just look at us while we’re making a mess. Laughing because they know we’re so unknown of the actual reality we live in. We don’t seem to care anymore.

I make my way home again. Back to the real world.

Warm Night

I look down at my feet. They’re partly buried into fresh snow. As far as my sight can capture, I see an endless white blanket. The sun can barely shine through the thick coating of clouds, but is bright enough to make the snow sparkling in many colours. I don’t feel cold at all. The energy of my burning soul gives me warmth. I walk a few meters to what looks like a taiga of conifers, a green painting on a white canvas.

Something attracts my attention. A mysterious feeling conquers the distance. My sight is burned on an animal shaped figure coming from behind the trees. The closer it gets, the clearer it starts to look like a wolf. A grey, thick furred wolf. His fur looks clean and smooth. He stops and stares at me. It’s like he wants to hypnotize me with his light yellow eyes. I’m not scared, I’m curious.
“Escape with me,” he says without moving a fraction of his mouth. It’s like he’s communicating telepathically with me. It’s different though. I feel connected with him. We share the same bond, the same desire for freedom. He’s like a virtual reflection of my mind. A mirror wherein I see my spirit animal. I pet his head. I don’t care if this reality is real or not. It’s real to me. I get on his back and ride on him as we together disappear into the nature. A path to the fountain of earth’s real value. From the beauty of nature, into the distance of space.

The beauty of believe is the thought that we don’t live for nothing. The beauty of life are the experiences that make our believes true. My believe struggles with the thought that I don’t have experience to believe. Hope doesn’t drag me along my grey days. It is my desire for a colored surreal fantasy that does. I guess that is my believe.

To escape into something other than life, is the track I’m hoping to reach. Think of it as a psychological treatment. A human being can’t tolerate emptiness for long. An emptiness created by people who don’t understand you, or anything that is of real importance.

Submitted: January 13, 2013

© Copyright 2022 sammo. All rights reserved.

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