I sat next to his bed, in sorrow, I touched him with quivering hands, I embraced him in my arms and hollered, but he would not respond. He was pale and cold; I realized he was no more. Exasperated and baffled, I moved around him, not knowing what to do. My heart burst, tears started oozing out and my mind was not ready to accept this reality. The night seemed darker than any other night. Petrified shock I sat in a corner away from him. In painful lament I constantly stared at him. One after the other I revived all those wonderful moments we spent together. We grew up together and I don’t know when I fell in love with him. His vision enlightened the darkest side of my life. He gave me the strength and the courage to overcome all hurdles. He cherished me when I was dejected and gloomy. His unconditional support, his passion and his kindness made me a different person. And now he is no more….
Many unanswered questions arise in my mind: What went wrong? Who betrayed whom? How could I let him die? He promised to be with me forever. But now he is gone, my Dream of my life is dead. I cannot comprehend my life without him. But the fact is I am left alienated. I was growing more melancholy every hour thinking what to do with the remains of my now deceased Dream? And then from the window suddenly the silverish - golden rays of morning Sun fell on me and my bereavement. He was glowing unusually and a smile was etched on his face. I went close to him; I caressed his face, kissed him on his forehead and rested my head on his chest. I felt relaxed. My heart was heavy but my mind began accepting the hard fact. I decided to offer one last prayer to my Dream. I knew I had to do this last ritual by myself, so I carefully placed him in a casket and adorned it with all those wonderful memories. I borrowed some golden sun light from the morning Sun, captured it in my palms and kept near his head. I requested the birds to requiem during prayer. Having the casket in my arms I walked towards an open ground to bury my once beloved dream.
I started digging a grave in barren land. As I was lowering the casket in the grave, I realized, my dream will feel lonely here. He will be alone and scared during the nights. So I decided to immerse the casket into the ocean. With the coffin in my arms I walked towards the shore. The ocean was shining bright and it reflected the blue of the sky above. The tides welcomed us. I found a small boat and began to row towards the sea. When I reached a point surrounded by deep waters I realized, my dream will be drowned and sink to the ocean bed where all the creatures of the sea won’t allow him to rest in peace. I propelled my boat back to the shore and trekked towards the forest. I started collecting big branches of a tree and prepared a crematory pyre to perform the last rites. I placed the casket on to the wooden pile. As I was about to set it to fire, I realized it will be agonizingly painful for my dream. He won’t be able to bear the heat of the fire. He will get reduced to ashes under extreme burning. I could not stand the thought, so I decided not to lit the pyre. Once again I held the casket in my arms and wondered what to do. How could I offer the last ritual to my dream?
I returned home with remains and kept thinking. Time was passing by. Darkness was beckoning. The chirping of the birds and swaying of the tree to the wind slowly ceased. I too felt tired, so I tried to relax but the grief stricken mind would not allow me to rest. Then suddenly the room was invaded and filled with divine light. I opened my eyes and was shocked to see the image of my dream floating in silver light. He came close to me and gently closed my eyes with his palm and kept his other hand close to my heart. I felt utterly calm. I closed my eyes and felt complete tranquility. Few minutes lapsed, or was it hours? I opened my eyes and found the room was pitch black. I couldn’t see anything, but I could sense his touch. The darkness enlightened my soul. I decided the final resting place for my dream would be my own heart. May be one day he might be reborn, arise from the ashes, and we would be united. I found my salvation. I moved on with my life, my dream may no longer be with me but I hope to meet him again someday… May be?
© Copyright 2016 sanjay panchal. All rights reserved.
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