What Have I Become?

Reads: 531  | Likes: 3  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 2

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic


There was a time I was surrounded by people who cared about me and loved me beyond boundaries. I knew a love that transcended love itself. I had friends and family who would go to the ends of the world for me. Yet, somehow, in an instant, with the blink of an eye, all of that seemed to perish. I desperately tried to hold on to every closing shred of this love, but I watched it die in my arms.
Did I push them so far that they could not find their way back to me?  Did I not open my heart enough? Maybe I pushed them away from me, pushed them beyond limits. Perhaps, their love did have a boundary. 

I never told him I loved him. Actually, I never told anybody that I loved them. Truth be told, it wasn't them that I didn't love; it was myself that I hadn't learnt to love. How could I love you when I couldn't love the very soul and body that sustained me? I embodied a spirit that was dark, unloving and unforgiving, a spirit that I deeply resented. 

This spirit will be the death of me. It will leave me stranded in the dark while I yearn for the least bit of emotion and endearment. It will be a yearning that no soul has ever known, a desire that no man has ever felt. 

Is this who I was born to become? Someone who craves the boundless love of the universe but is unwilling to reciprocate? Am I supressing my feelings to tuck away from this cold-hearted, repellent monster that I have become? 

What would I not give to bask in the happiness and love of the ones I truly do adore!

Oh, what have I become?

 


Submitted: February 13, 2019

© Copyright 2022 sappy. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Kossettes Novellettes

SAAPPYYY, Its really you lol the ghost is back hahaha
Your writing always makes me wonder if it is completly true or not. I hope its not, the feeling of pushing others away, if you do get thr chance to realize youre doing can be a great motivator to become an better version of you.

This one does mean something. It reminds me of recent issues Ive had. I have done alot of work on myself recently to be able to show the people that I love that I actually love them and to be able to love them the right way.

I rambled and of course its my opinion only.

This is a great write honestly

Wed, February 13th, 2019 4:30pm

Author
Reply

Ahh Kos! I really have missed your comments! It’s good to be back haha

Anyway, thank you so much for the read. Well it is partly true. I have been trying to work on myself and let the people around me know how much they mean to me.

As you said, it does help become a better version of yourself.

Thank you again! I’ve missed you!

Cheers :)

Wed, February 13th, 2019 9:07am

hullabaloo22

Boy is there a lot of truth in this piece, sappy. Well written and thought-provoking.

Wed, February 13th, 2019 9:00pm

Author
Reply

Oh thank you so much Hully! Glad you liked it! :)

Wed, February 13th, 2019 9:17pm

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