what if....

What if is a big word,

what if i was different,

what if my mum hadn't got rid of me.

all these feelings bubble up inside of my head

all these unanswered questions 

all these thoughts of not belonging.

what if i was a different person

what if my family loved me 

what if i acted differently.

my feeling get carried away

my feeling are never right

my feeling are all scrammbled.

what if i was loved first time round

what if cancer never exsisted 

what if i was normal.

my head tells me i am right one minute

my head tells me i am wrong the next

my head tells me all these things

what if i never exsisted 

what if i was another person 

what if death never happened

would i be happy 

would i have a perfect life 

would i be loved....