“We should get you home.” He spoke with such care that my heart melted. I nodded, whatever he wanted I would give it to him. His wish was my command. His hand fell away from my cheek and so did my eyes from his. Moments ago I would have thought he was standing uncomfortably close but now I could feel the warmth emanating from his body. I wanted to never leave his side.
As we turned to face the direction of my apartment I collided into a couple who were all over each other and I stumbled back a bit. Before I fell Liam caught me holding me close.
“Are you okay?” His words seemed distant now. I made eye contact with the guy and my heart instantly dropped to my knees. Dylan didn’t keep eye contact with me for more than half a second before he turned back to the bleach blonde who was all over him. They started giggling instantly and my hand covered my mouth. It was pitch black out by now but the street lights and the cars kept my face visible to Liam. I shook my head and dropped to my knees. This wasn’t happening. Liam instantly dropped down next to me holding onto my shaking frame.
“Amanda. Who was that. What’s wrong.” His voice full of concern as I wept into my hands. He held me close, something Dylan would have never done, and rubbed my back. Soon Liam lifted me from the frozen ground and started carrying me in the direction of my apartment. I was sobbing into his shoulder the whole time. The only time he talked is once when he asked what building was mine and once again when he asked what apartment number I was. I’m not sure how he understood me but soon I was in my warm bed, his arms still wrapped around me making me feel secure. I drifted off to an uneasy sleep in his warm embrace.
Next thing I knew the smell of hot chocolate filled my apartment. I was tucked safely under my warm comforter but Liam was nowhere in sight. My heart started to race in a panic and I stumbled out of bed. Holding onto the wall for support I made my way to the living room as quickly as I could. As soon as he saw me in my doorway he stood up and took three large strides to meet me and held my shoulders. His firm grip around my shoulders made me relax completely and my heart stopped pounding in my chest.
“Are you okay?” His words laced with utter worry and concern. He cared about me and how I felt. I nodded and tried to swallow but my throat was dry. Tears lined my eyes as I looked up into his. He pulled me close to his chest and I let a few silent tears fall onto his shirt. We stood there for a few minutes in silent our breathing in sync. I squeezed my eyes shut and spoke hoarsely.
“That was m-my friend...” A violent shake ran through my body and his arms instinctively held on tighter. He rubbed my back and didn’t say anything for a few moments.
“Whatever he did to you to make you this upset is not okay. You should be treated like a princess.” I relaxed in his arms once more and nodded listening to every word as if it held the answer to the meaning of life. “No girl should cry. Especially not you Amanda. You are far too beautiful to cry.” My cheeks felt like they were on fire. The blush crept its ways to my ears turning them red and hot. Liam squeezed me once more and let go pulling my chin up to make me look him in the eyes. “Far too beautiful.” He repeated.
I stared at him for what seemed like hours before he dropped his hand to my arm rubbing it softly.
“I made some hot chocolate.” He said so quietly, like if he was any louder I would break into a million pieces. Nodding I dropped my eyes to the floor and walked to the kitchen. Everything was just like I had left it. I glanced at the clock on the wall that told me it was 4:30 am. I was judging it was in the am because it was still pitch black out. I picked up the still warm ceramic mug and let the hot drink fill me with warmth. I shivered and took another sip. Soon Liam was standing right next to me sipping on his watching my every move carefully.
“You didn’t have to stay you know.. You barely know me.” I said between sips. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“I wasn’t about to leave you alone. I want to know you, Amanda. I need to know you.” He looked at me trying to figure out what I was thinking. “That guy, whatever his name is, he was your boyfriend wasn’t he..?” I nodded softly and stared at the steam the hot chocolate was giving off.
“We broke up yesterday.. Maybe two days ago..” I squeaked out. No matter how bad I wanted to get over Dylan I couldn’t bring myself to talk about him. I sighed at myself and how completely pathetic I was.
“You don’t have to talk about him. It’s okay, but whenever you’re ready I’m here to listen to everything you have to say.” As he said this he leaned against the counter and crossed his legs. The blush crept its way up my cheeks and I couldn’t stop it. How does he have this affect on me? I just don’t understand.
“There’s only one thing you need to know about him.. He’s a total jerk.” I said this with such confidence it startled me. Maybe getting over him wouldn’t be that hard.
“He looked like one.” I could hear the smile in his voice and I looked up to see his perfect teeth gleaming in the light. How could anyone be this perfect. Nodding in response I took the last drink out of my mug and set it in the sink. I scratched my head and looked at myself in the mirror. I had dark circles under my hazel eyes and my deep red hair was falling out of the bun I had put it in hours ago. My light skin looked pasty and gross.
“Oh God..” I mumbled to myself. I could see Liam’s confused expression behind me in the mirror. “I look terrible. I’m so sorry you had to see me like this. I look like complete death.” He opened his mouth to say something but I started again. “I need to take a shower. I’ll look presentable when you see me next. I promise.” I quickly walked to the bathroom without letting him say a word and locked myself in.
I started the shower and let the bathroom fill with steam. My stomach churned and I bent over the toilet getting sick. All of the hot chocolate came out, not tasting as good as it did going in. I wiped my mouth and flushed my vomit down the drain. I stripped down to my undergarments and looked over my body. There were scars everywhere. Dark scars lined my arms, stomach, and thighs. I touched my stomach running my fingers over scars that spelled out words. ‘Hopeless;’ ‘Fat;’ ‘Disgusting;’ I undressed the rest of the way and stepped into the hot shower.
Half an hour later, and a few tears, I got out and threw my hair up in a towel. I got dressed, long sleeves as usual, and did my make up. Nothing crazy, just simple, yet I wouldn’t look completely disgusting. I dried my hair quickly and threw it up in a bun again. I took one last look at myself in the mirror and walked out to the living room where he was sitting. As soon as he saw me he stood up.
“Hi.” I squeaked out and he smiled. I saw his hands go into his pockets and I looked up into his eyes.
“Can I be completely honest with you?” He spoke softly. I nodded fearing the worst was about to come. “I think you look beautiful even if you haven’t showered.” As he said that my stomach exploded into a bajillion butterflies, the redness came back to my cheeks, and my heart pounded. I couldn’t even come up with a thank you. I was too stunned by his words. “You look beautiful twenty-four seven.” He continued. I felt my ears turn hot and I’m sure they were bright red. I looked down letting my bangs that didn’t quite fit in the hair tie fall over my face.
Liam took a step towards me and tucked the hair behind my ear lifting my chin up. I couldn’t help but smile like a complete idiot. Who knew that some guy that I ran into on the sidewalk could have this effect on me. I looked up at him just taking all his beauty in. He was so amazing.
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