The Hypochondriac Diary

Reads: 990  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 1

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Mr. Hypochodriac is convinced that this world is a dangerous place and he invents the best methods to protect himself and stay healthy. Don't try anything of this at home.

Submitted: May 24, 2013

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 24, 2013

A A A

A A A


 

People call me a hypochondriac, but they are wrong and I am really sick and there is only a problem with the doctors that are incapable to give me the right diagnosis. 
 
I visited my doctor the other day and I introduced him with my serious conditions. I have ringing in my ears and I feel dizzy when I turn around for a long time. He told me that this condition is directly induced by my actions and that it will naturally pass without any therapy. But I have told my doctor that I didn’t do anything unnatural. I am a normal person that likes to exercise. Who thought that exercise can induce serious medical conditions? 
 
I have designed a new form of exercise that is called the roll and crawl. It is beneficial for my blood circulation and it can help me to grow muscles and feel healthier. The only problem is that all the people think that I am crazy because I am doing that. The main principle of this exercise is to turn around in circles until you fall on the ground. When you fall on the ground, you start to crawl. It is a very enjoyable and pleasant exercise. Don’t you think so? And my doctor says that it is not healthy to do that. 
 
I will tell you what is not healthy. It is all of the food that we buy in the supermarket. I avoid consumption of the food that is processed, packed or produced in an unhealthy way. This is why I go around and gather different types of plants. Don’t ask me how I know which plant is good for me. I have that special feeling that tells me that these plants will make me healthy. The problem is that after I eat those plants, I spend too much time in the toilet. This is what I call the body purification. The body needs to get rid of the toxins in the natural way. It doesn’t matter if I go to toilet 45 times a day. After the treatment, my body is purified and I am ready for the new challenges. But my doctor just tells me that I am crazy and that I am losing the valuable nutrients from my body. 
 
The other thing I really like is going to sauna. Going to sauna is going to remove all of the bad chemicals from my body, or at least I think so. I like to take a whole day for a sauna treatment. It can start at 9 o’clock in the morning until 11 o’clock in the evening. It goes without consumption of any food in the meantime. But I drink about ten liters of water, just in case my body needs it. My doctor says that too much sauna can cause serious heart conditions, but I don’t believe him. Nobody can take sauna away from me. 
 
The next important thing is to secure my home from the harmful radiation. You are not aware that there are many types of radiation that are influencing your home, starting from alpha, beta, gamma, x, space radiation and so on. How can I leave with that radiation? This is why I have created the radiation proof window blinds. Those window blinds are made of tetra-carbon-delta- cis-trans-nitro-ferrite alloy. These are my patented window blinds that can protect me from all the types of radiation. Radiation is also coming from the sewers and I must protect myself by installing the special toilet seat covers and bathtub covers. The same goes for all of the ventilation shafts and other airways that bring the harmful radon gas into my home. My doctor says that there isn’t enough fresh air in my apartment, but I tell him that all of the air must go through my safe radon removing pump. 
 
My doctor doesn’t understand me and my neighbors don’t understand me. When it comes to girls, they don’t understand me too. But I hope that I will persuade the people about the dangers of the world that we are living in. Don’t you think that this world is dangerous?
 


© Copyright 2019 Sasa Sijak. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply

More Humor Short Stories