Quotes That I Love!!

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Here are some quotes that are both funny and inspiring. Do not take offense to any of these - I'm just quoting them, I didn't actually like say them. The quotes vary from nature to humor, from knowledge to 'funny'. After some of the quotes, there'll be more comments written in bold. Those are my opinions. I'll be adding to this when I can, for I really like looking up quotes and seeing what stuff I can find. Hope you guys enjoy! Tell me what your favorite is!

Submitted: January 10, 2012

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Submitted: January 10, 2012



"Love is like miso soup - warm and comforting." -Scott K. (personal friend)Most of the time. Unless you cook it wrong or something...

"If you have an apple and I have an apple, and we exchange these apples, you and I will still have one apple. But if youhave an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas." -George Benard ShawNow George - if you have an apple and I have an apple, why can't you just give me your apple and be done with it?

"If there's a fire on the dance floor, I'll put it out with a sprinkler." -Jack W.(personal friend)

"You put a baby in a crip with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car." -Harvey Darmond

"The revolution is not an apple that falls when it is ripe. You have to make it fall." -Ernesto 'Che' Guevara

"I'm not smart, but I like to observe. Millions saw the apple fall, but only Newton asked why." -Bernard M. Baruch

"Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of my wings,Irom wicked that oppress me, the deadly enemies, who compass me about" -AnonymousNo idea what this is supposed to mean, but it sounded nice.

"Ah life... It just doesn't have enough donuts." -Riva W. (personal friend)

"I like fruit baskets beacuse it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if its in a fruit basket you're like 'this is nice!'" -Demetri MartinAHAHAHAH this made me laugh so much... :D

"Part of the film business is, if you want an apple, youbuy an apple." -Jeffery Jones

"Comeday is simply a funny way of being serious." -Peter Ustinovyou got it, Peter!!

"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing." -William James That's a nice way to think of it.

"A #2 pencil and a dream can take you anywhere." -Joyca A. Myers this one's rather nice, seeing as how we're all authors here... :D

"Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present." -Jim Rohn

"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's a day to day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov rather true!

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." -Buddha

"Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't." -Richard BachI love this quote so much I quote it in half the stories I write. XD

"I still find each day to short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to walk, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see." -John Borroghsso very true.

"I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of the way and let them have it." -Dwight D. Eisenhower.

"I rant, therefore I am." -Dennis Miller

"Imagine all the people living in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one." -John LennonYup that's right i'm quoting Lennon

"A woodland in full color is awesome as a forest fire, in magnitude at least, but a single tree is like a dnacing tongue of flame to warm the heart." -Hal BorlandFor some reason I am fascinated that a quote can have the word 'awesome' in it.

"Birds have wings; they're free; they can fly where they want when they want. They have the kind of mobility many people envy." -Roger Tory Peterson

"A word to the wise isn't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." -Bill CosbyThis is for all you stupid people out there.... You know who you are... ;)

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." -Jim CareyActually rather true.

"I'm not afriad of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." -Woody Allens

"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink." -Joe E. LewisI do too, Joe.

"I have six locks on my door all in a raw. hen I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three." -Elayne BooslerMy cousin brought this up: "I thought when you pick a lock, it only unlocks and never locks?"

"I think they should Barbie with a buzz cut." =Ellen DegeneresOMG they TOTALLY should

"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down." -Mitch HedbergI think there's a better way. If you feel all the blood rushing to your head, your upside down.

"If Love is the answer, can you rephrase the question?" -Lily Tomlin

"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full." -Henry A. Kissinger

"There's no better eeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap." -Dennis Miller

"Weather forecast for tonight: dark." -George Carlin

"Have you have been hurt and the place tries to heal a lot, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again." -Rosa ParksI did a birography on her three years in a row. Ahahaha talk about cheating.

"Spaghetti, gotta wear a red shirt." -Jordan Y. (cousin)He just makes that much of a mess when he eats. That just shows how much unlike a gentleman he is, and how much of a pig he is too.

"I think, therefore I am." -Renedescartes

"All things are artificial, for nature is the art of God." - THomas Browne

"fall is my favorite season in Los Angeler, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees." -David LettermindHey, that is so not true! I should know!

"I've failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed." -Micheal Jordan

"Hakuna Matata!"-The Lion King

"everything is ok in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." -Carolyn Myers (also quoted often by my friend Amber A.)

"Out of the millions of people on earth, why let one person ruin your life?" -Unknown

"Some people aren't meant to stay in your life forever; instead they were only here long enough to teach you the lesson you needed to learn." -Unknown

"well behanved women seldom make history." -Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

"I'm not copying, I'm paraphrasing!" -Carolyn H. (personal friend)

"One cheeseball?! That's it?!" -Carolyn H. (personal friend)

"Danger - don't anger!" -SavvyAppleI made that quote for Carolyn H. You really shouldn't anger her. It's not a good idea.

"When you're lying on your bed typing up stories on your computer tryping to forget about the worries of life and homework and suh while watching tv and listening to the constant drip of rain outside and you're in your nice warm fuzzy jacket covered with a blanket, youknowit's a good day." -SavvyAppleYou truly do know.

"Believe you can and you're halfway there." -Theodore Roosevelt

"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky." -Rabindranath Tagore

"Every charitable act is a stepping stone toward heaven." -Henry Ward BeecherThat's fancy for "go and do something charitable."

"Hapiness is not something you postpone for the future, it is something you design for the present." -Jim Rohn

'Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest riend. Non-being is the greatest joy." -Lao Tzu

"Hope is a waking dream." -Aristotle

"I have looked into your eyes with my eyes. I have put my heart in your heart." -Pope John XXIII

"It is no ignorange but knowledge which is the mother of wonder." -Joseph Wood Krutch

"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible!'" -Audrey Hepburn

"Put your heart,mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success." -Swami Sivananda

"Show me hands. Do they have scars from giving? Shoe me your feet. Are they wounded in service? Show me your heart. Have you left a place for divine love?" -Fulton J. Sheen

"Tears are ogten the telescope by which men see far into heaven." -Hentry Ward Beecher

"Tears of joy are like the summer rain drops pierced by sunbeams." -Hosea Bailou

"The best way out is always through." -Robert Frost

"The fact that I can plant a seed and it become a flower, share a bit of knowldge and it become another's smile at someone and recieve a smile inreturn, are to me continual spiritual exercises." -Leo Buscaglia

"The only think that ultimately matters is to eat an ice cream cone, play a slide trombone, plant a small tree, good God, now you're free." -Ray Manzarek

"The poer of imagination makse us infinite." -John Muir

"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror the reflects it." -Edith Wharton

"You change your life by changing you heart." -Max Lucardo

"Your presend circumstances don't determind where you can go; they merely determine where you start." -Nido Quebein

"A hug is like a boomerang - you get it back right away." -Bil Keane

"No matter how much war we go through, how much we humans fight, the way I know that we still have civilization is by smiling at a completely stranger and when they smile back." -SavvyApple

"A single rose can be my garden...A single friend, my world." -Leo Buscaglia

"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." -Arnold H. GlasowThis, here, is the real test.Not some random quiz you found in a tabloid magazine.

"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feard than a wild beast; a wild beast may would your boyd, but an evil frriend will wound your mind." -Buddha

"Don't walk behind me: I may not lead. DOn't walk in front of me: I may not follow. Just walk beside me and by my friend." -Albery CamusPersonally, this is how is shouldreally go: Don't walk behind me: i'll kick you like a horse. Don't walk in front of me: i don't trust you to where you're leading me. Just walk beside me so I can keep my freaking eye on you."

"Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends." -Shirley MacLaine

"TIGER SWAG!!" -Multiple People at my School lots. of people. saying it. mostly people from band. Some people are: Ashley W., Scott K., Sheldon C., Kyle O., etc.

"I believe that nerds are mythical creatures that don't exist." -Emily S. (personal friend)She wanted me to put this on here, No idea why, but hey... Funny.

"It takes a second to notice someone, an hour to like someone, a day to fall in love with someone and a lifetime to forget them? -Brittany Shea

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, let it soar, hope the God has something better in store." -unknown so apparently you weren't good enough, and there's something better.

"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk." -Rita Rudner

"Life is hard. After all, it kills you." -Katharine Hepburn

"Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get." -Rober Orben

"I don't think anyone should write an autobiography until after they're dead." -Samuel Goldwyn

"I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me." -Stephen Fry

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." -W.C. Fields

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realized I should have been more specific." -Lily Tomlin

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself." -Josh Billings.

"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago." -Will Rogers

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good." -Steven Wright

"I have never been hurt by have I have no said." -Calvin Coolidge

"People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. -Ellen DeGeneresBWAAAHAHAH i love this girl

"I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it." -Mitch Hedbergkeep wishing, Hedberg

"I personally think we developed language beacuse of our deep inner need to complain." -Jane Wagnerit's in our nature.

"I'm an idealist. I don't where I'm going, but I'm on my way." -Carl Sangburg

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." -Charles M. Shultz

"I don't get why people tell people they're taking things; I mean, they'll figure it out once it's gone." -Carolyn H. (personal friend)

"I'm not antisocial, I justdon't like people!" -Carolyn H. (personal friend)

"I'm not egocentric, I'm just better than everyone." -Carolyn H. (person friend.)

"Life is not measured in the number of breaths we take - but by the number of moments that take our breath away." -Unknown OMG this is like favorite quote everrr

"Everything important has been said before." -Alfred North Whitehead

"It is by studyinglittle thingsthat we attain the great attain te great art of having as little misery, and as much happiness as possible." -Samuel Johnson

"Humor is reason gone mad" -Groucho Marx

"Humor is just another defense againt the universe." -Mel Broooks"quick, the ______ is attacking!! Give me humor, civilians!"

"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them." -Mitch Hedberg

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -Albert Eistein

"Get your facts first, that you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." -Laurence J. Peter

"Never fight an inanimate object." -P.J. O'Rourke

"There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist." -Mark Twain

"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you tell the name it will carry." -Bill Cosby

"Originality is te fine art o remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it." -Laurence J. Peter

"Weird is a word boring people use to describe awesomepeople." -Erik C. (person friend)

"Start off every day with a smile and get itover with." -W.C. Fields

"My grandma started walking ffive miles a day when she was sixty. she's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is." -Ellen DeGeneresWell you'd better go find her...

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday." -Don Marquis

"Never rraise your hand to children - it leaves your midsection unprotected." -Robert Orben

"Most women set out trying to change a man, and when they have they do not like him." -Marlene DietrichTHAT IS SO.... true.

"If you ask me anything I don't know, I will not answer." -Yogi BerraDo you speak often then?

"I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well." -Robert Benchley

"I did not have 3000 pairs of sure, I had 1060." -Imelda Marcos

"I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more." -James Brown

"Tragedy is when I cut my finer. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." -Mel Brooks

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong." -Bentrand Russell

"Parrots make great pets. They have more personality that goldfish." -Chervy Chase

"I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time." -Charles M. Schulz

"Practice makes perfec, but nody's perfect, so why practice?" -Kurt Cobain

"All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height." -Casey Stengel

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religous cult." -Rita Rudner

"If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style." -Quentin Crispit sure is mine....

"In the beginning, ther was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better." -Ellen DeGeneres

"Nothing says holidays like a cheese log." -Ellen DeGeneres

"I ask people why the have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractice, but I have photographs of her." -Ellen DeGeneres

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." -William Wallace

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." -Harvey Fierstein

"A man who dares waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life." -Charles Darwin

"We can't plan life. ALl we can do is be avaliable for it." -Lauryn Hill

"I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it." -Charles M. Schulz

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." -Mark Twain

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." -Mark Twain

"Who will tell whether one happy mement of love of the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies." -Erich Fromn

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say 'I used everything you gave me.'" -Erma Bombeck

"Life is but thought." -Sara Teasdale

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." -Albert Camus

"The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you." -Elbert Hubbard

"Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say what counts." -Maragaret Lee Rumbeck

"In everyone's life, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." -Albert Schwetzer

"It is one of the blessins of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." -Ralph Walso Emerson

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is it one of those things that give value to survival." -C.S. LewisI love the Chronicles of Narinia, just saying....

"She is a friend of mind. She father me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in a ll the right order. It's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind." -Toni Morrison

Tere are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?" -Robert Kennedy

"All men dream, but not equally. THose who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake iun the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible." -T.E. Lawrence

"We all dream;we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes in our sleep minds, stange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake." -Erich Fromn

"Dreams are the touchstones of our character." -Henry David Thoreau

"All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible." -William FaulknerAnd then the quote "Nothing is impossible, the word istelf says 'I'm possible!!'" (Audrey Hepburn) comes to mind again..

"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are so lonely." -Erma Bombeck

"I tell people I'm too stpuid to know what's impossible. I have ridiculously large dreams, and hald the time they come true." -Debi Thomas

"Love is being stupid together." -Paul Valery

"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war' love is growing up." -James A. Baldwin

"Earth laughs in flowers." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Spring is nature's way of saying 'Let's Party!'" -Robin WIlliams

"Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only differen kinds of good weather." -Josh Ruskin

"I thank you God for this most amazing day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes." -e.e. cummings

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine." -Anthony J. D'Angelo

"It is difficult to know what moment love begins: it is less difficult to know that it has begun." -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I." -Michel De Montaigne

"A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years." -Rupert Brooke

"Love can sometimes be magic. But magic gan sometimes.... Be an ilusion." -Javan

"Imagination rules the world." -Napoleon Bonaparte

"If everyone is thinking alike, the somebody isn't thinking." -Geroge S. Patton

"Gaurd well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improved them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The poetry of the earth is never dead." -John Keats

"Every goal, everyaction, every thought, every feeling one experiences, whether it be consciously or unconciously known, is an attempt to increase one's level of peace and mind." -Sydeney Madwed

"The happiest of people don't have the best of everything, they make the best of everything."-Unknown

"It is a risk to love. What if it doesn't work out? Ah, but what if it does." -Peter McWilliams

Stay tuned for more quotes! :D :D :D

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