once apon a time there was a boy named timmy who live in a tiny house on a hill...
he isn't living anymore , but he was once upon a time, and he was a boy, and his name was timmy, and he lived in a house, which was tiny, and it was on a hill.
timmy didn't have any friends. it made timmy sad. it made his parents sad because timmy was kind of annoying. kids didn't like timmy because he was annoying.
because timmy was annoying, no one was ever around him. all the animals liked timmy because no one was ever around him. the animals were not annoyed because they could not hear timmy's face noises.
timmy didn't know the animals liked him. timmy thought no one liked him. if you think of it as no human liked timmy, it would have been true, no human liked timmy, because he annoying.
timmy never noticed the hordes of bunnies that stalked him whenever he was outside. timmy never noticed the squirrels that left precious gifts of food in his room (timmy wondered why his pillow was getting lumpier and lumpier). timmy never noticed the birds that swarmed his head as he walked across his yard. timmy never noticed the frogs that hopped in open windows and doors. timmy did not even know there were such things as bunnies, and squirrels,and birds, and frogs. in fact, timmy was pretty much oblivious to everything other than the fact that no one seemed to like him.
timmy's parents eventually figured out there was something wrong. timmy's parents decided to check it out.
after months of research, studying, investigating, and eating immense amounts of pudding alone, timmy's parents figured out that animals were following timmy for some strange reason.
timmy's parent's decided to tell timmy after a long discusion about timmy's mental health.
when timmy's parent's came in, the squirrels were in the middle of their daily routine of packing various nuts in his pillow (today it was walnuts). timmy was obviously unaware of their presence. as soon as timmy's parents walked in, the squirrels ran out the open window, and the frogs that had come in earlier, hid underneath his bed. timmy's parents started to talk to him, but timmy didn't hear much of what they were saying, he was to busy trying to figure out why people didn't like him.
timmy's parents noticed that timmy was still staring at the wall instead of them. timmy's parents decided to go a more direct approach. timmy's parents took timmy outside. as soon as timmy stepped foot out the door, the bunnies huddled around his feet, the squirrels poked thier heads out of the trees to watch him, the birds began flying round his head, and there was a long trail of frogs behind him.
timmy didn't notice any of these things of course, and timmy's parents were getting annoyed again. finally, after listening to timmy go on and on about how much he hated being, well, hated, timmy's mom got an idea.
"hey timmy! look! the animals like you!" said timmy's mom.
suddenly, timmy saw the bunnies at his feet, the squirrels in the trees, the birds at his head, and the frogs behind him. now you may think, oh good for timmy! timmy has friends! yay timmy! but now, you must remember that timmy was oblivious to everything other than the fact that no one seemed to like him.
timmy was absolutly horrified by the creatures he now saw so plainly in front of him.
what were these creatures at his feet with huge ears, and small beady eyes, and huge fangs that stuck out of thier faces, and they also seemed to be completely covered in hair? what were the the creatures with faces that were also covered in hair, with tiny eyes, and strange pointed ears, that were staring down at him from the tree tops? what were these flying beings covered in strange leaves, that beat thier wing above his head, that have piecing eyes, and horrible feet, with nails that look like tiny knives? what were these slimy things trailing behind him, with huge, unblinking eyes, and strange feet that timmy could only imagine what that thing would use them for? the thing was, timmy didn't know what these creatures were and so, he let out an annoying scream... because timmy was really, really annoying.
timmy began ranting about how he thought his life couldn't get any worse, and yet his parent's ideas of friends were these horrible, ugly, evil, demonic creatures that could probably devour him in his sleep. and, of course, he said this in a very annoying way.
now, something very strange happened that day, because in the same way timmy was oblivious to the animal's existence, the animals were oblivious to timmy's tendency to be annoying. but just as timmy was awakened to the existence of animals, the animals were awakened to timmy's annoying...ness...
so when timmy let out that shriek, and began to rant, the animals suprisingly heard every word, and would have gladly stabbed thier ears with the closest sharp object around. unfortunatly, none of them had apposible thumbs.
the animals never followed timmy again, and ran anytime they saw anyone. the animals passed the story down to family and friends for generations. occasionally animals came to trust a few of the adults.
and so that is why animals run when they see you and hide when they hear you. and this is why the only time you see a friendly animal, it is only friendly to your mother. and if an animal is ever friendly to you... it's probably just stupid.
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