No it isn't

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
"For Love is not the binding of fair lips and the soft silk of eyes that look and long" - Wilfred Owen

Submitted: June 22, 2011

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Submitted: June 22, 2011



"I think I'm in Love" he said, well that's what Joan thought she heard through the crackling of the bad phone connection. "I Love you." "Seriously dude, the connection here is so bad, what were we saying?" "I Love you Joan, you are the sweetest person I've ever met-".
- Is he actually saying that? Me? Sweet? This doesn't compute..Love.. what is Love for him?- Joan tried to organize the confused voice in her head as she scrambled to find some apt words for the moment "I'm so happy when I talk to you.." - what the fuck, seriously? Is that the best you can come up with? The guy is pouring his heart out to you and this is the best you can come back with? Why don't you tell him the truth? What the hell is wrong with you? Don't be afraid, he won't judge, he Loves you right? C'mon- the voice in her head lectured Joan, as she struggled to understand what he was muttering in Japanese.
In that warm summer night, wearing a t-shirt, shorts and UGGs felt right, sitting in that park as the sun fell down the sky to reveal the stars, she thought to herself - I'm in Love, what's wrong with me? Why do I keep on thinking about him? Is this Love? I'm pathetic.-
Remembering the tears that had been shed last night, as her pillow started to get damp she had realized, she was sick. This feeling in the guts that wouldn't leave, this recurring thought of fucking everything up taunted her, and it hit her like a big yellow school bus: Love- Yes the so-called Cupid had not forgotten about her, was this Love? Is this why she was so ill? Is this why she longed for the school day to end so that she could call him to hear his voice?  - I'm being a creeper. Do Not call him Joan, no. No. no. Put the phone down, wait. Wait. Wait... oh fuck it! Call him!- this was her brain's attempt to regain control of the crazed heart, and obviously failing miserably.
Being only able to see him once a week, killed her. It hurt more than any needle that had ever been in her body, more than any of the punches that she had received and more than any emotional rip that she had received. It killed. Evidently, it was something she had to grow into accepting, this was harder than she thought. As she tried to not care- she missed him a lot, meaning that she really liked him. Now that was dangerous.
"What am I gonna do?. What am I gonna do?. What am I gonna do?. … What am I gonna do?.  " Joan recited this depressing line as she rocked back and forth, on the wooden tiles, cradling her head in her hands, her older brother just looked at her plainly and spoke with his upmost prophetic voice "Joan, shutup. He's a good guy I can see it in the way he looked at you he really does like you, and cares about you and the last thing on his mind is to hurt you. So stop being pathetic." a short pause followed and he urged his little sister to sit on his bed as he played soft blues on his guitar and excitedly tried out his new pedal: "Heey Joaaannn, stoop being soo retarded.. He's cooll, anddd he likes you oh yeahhh" he sang along with passionate affection to the vibratos of his Les Paul.


"In conclusion Gemma, I love him. And I really don't know what to do." sighed Joan, exhaling a big cloud of smoke around her best friend's curly blond locks.
"Joan. Shutup. Enjoy it, you're lucky..And don't fuck it up. Which means, No Leon, No Eric, No Ale and defiantly,  No Michel. Yes?"
"Obviously Gemma, I wouldn't be able to face myself if I ever did anything like, I would never cheat on him for the very fact that, I actually don't want to jeopardize my relationship for once! I like it, I like the fact of having a boyfriend, I like it when he holds me in arms- I feel safe, I like it that he sends me inboxes which make me smile and releases me from any sort of pain.. I..guess I'd have to say that I really do Love him. I Love him- goddamn. This is awesome."
"Finally! Are you happy now?" questioned Gemma,
"The happiest I've ever been." concluded Joan with her head in a state of pure Nirvana thinking about his smile.

There is no conclusion to this story, unfortunately we have no idea how this will come through. Yet to summaries my feelings and this story:


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