Recently, I moved from a small town of two thousand to a city of one million. The schools surprised me so much, I had to right about it. Let me be clear, none of this is an exaggeration. But I wish it was, oh I wish…
I find boys repulsive, hulking beasts. I think short shorts belong in the dumpster or, better yet, burned up. Any heels over six inches should be illegal. I do not think having your ass stick out from your “skirt” is cute, or sexy, or anything else girls think it is. I prefer to wear a nice blouse, not a tank top two sizes too small.
In short, I do not belong at this school.
It hit me this morning, when I stepped out of my car and watched a girl get her overly exposed ass slapped by some hunk with his pants around his knees. Nice underwear, dude. Not a minute goes by and a jeep roars into the spot next to me, with two girls standing up in the back. Their bright-pink bras were clearly visible through a shredded shirt, and one girl’s leopard print miniskirt could have passed for some sort of bizarre corset.
I double clicked the lock on my car as I walked away.
Barely done with my first week of school and already I feel like I’m walking to prison. The teachers were fine, but the overwhelming amount of prostitutes and douche bags kind of made it hard to concentrate on the teacher. Normally I would chalk it up to new school nerves, but I think culture shock takes the point in this round. I went from a small, laid back Montana school where the only drama is who hit the deer on I-25 to a school of five thousand where, apparently, popular equals how many guys you’ve slept with. It was like I’d stepped into my TV. I couldn’t believe it when I had to physically push a kissing couple off my locker, then watch the drug dogs bust two kids in Spanish.
I wanted so badly to leave. But we just moved across to country. That’s all my parents needed right now; a whiny teenager complaining about her school. My parents would believe every word (I rarely lie), but they came from a small town. If they talk to the board about anything, even a peep, every student will be on me like piranha. So, I deal with it. I invested in a music player, hang out in the empty library, and talk the teachers (blasphemous!). Naturally, my parents think the new environment has my academic abilities stimulated (I ace every test), but in all honesty at least the homework doesn’t sleep around. Or does it? Gross.
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