The Spinbrush Horror

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
An innocent morning turns afoul.

Submitted: May 02, 2009

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Submitted: May 02, 2009

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A little over a year ago, I bought a Crest SpinBrush, a product I highly recommend. It is inexpensive and effective, and it gives your gums a gentle, pleasant massage every time you brush. (I am not being paid by the good people at Crest, but I probably should be.)

A few months ago, I found that my local pharmacy was out of stock of SpinBrush replacement heads.  I waited a week to check again, to no avail. Ultimately, I was forced to purchase a plain old non-vibrating toothbrushSomewhat less than satisfying, but it would get me by until I found another SpinBrush head.

Naturally, I located a replacement head about three days after purchasing the nearly antique, hand-operated model. I decided to keep the regular, plebeian toothbrush to use as a cleaning implement. Mildew periodically gathers around my bathroom tile, and the small brush was perfect for scrubbing it away. 

Mounted on the wall just above and to the left of the sink is a small, old-fashioned toothbrush holder. It has the big hole in the middle to hold a rinse cup and four narrow slots designed for toothbrushes; only, they are too narrow for practically every toothbrush manufactured after 1987. I placed my new tile-scrubber horizontally across this little appliance. I can't really explain why I thought that would be a good spot to keep a cleaning tool, considering that the toothbrush holder was a shoulders' width away from where I keep my SpinBrush.
 
Myopic: lacking in foresight: showing a lack of foresight or long-term planning
Encarta (R) World English Dictionary (C) & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
 
Home late after a long day, I wanted nothing more than to wash my face, brush my teeth, and kick back in front of the TV. Soap the hands, add water, scrub the face vigorously, rinse, and pat dry. Ahh, good. Pick up the toothbrush, apply just a little toothpaste, wet it a bit, then into the mouth. 
 
While my right hand brushed, my left hand placed the tube of paste on the counter next to my SpinBrush. Wait a minute, next to… ohh, God…
 
Jerk the brush from the mouth, stare intensely at it, hope it will magically transform into the clean, hygienic SpinBrush. Look into the mirror - foam not quite white, but a smoky gray. Taste the bizarre infusion of flavors -  tub scum, bleach, and "Clean Mint". Spit, swish water in mouth, spit again. Scrape the tongue with fingernails, not to remove the taste, but to remove the instance, to remove the factual history of the occurrence from time itself!
 
After I calmed down and brushed with sanitary, unrepulsive equipment, I was able to laugh. It wasn’t a toothy laugh, but it was good enough.
 


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