Why So Sad Why So Lonely by Scott Shadden
why am i so sad? why am i so lonely? i need to be loved. i need to love. i am crying. these tears are real. they come in waves. i am so frustrated. no one to talk to. it has been too
long since i had love. i can hardly think. my mind is becoming so confused. i miss my girl. i am in great pain that seems not to end. i am a man. a good man. why am i alone. i dont like it. i dont
know what else i should do.
i feel like my life is slowly ending. how much can one take without showing the effects of this pain and loneliness. it is not pretty. i am suffering greatly. i really have few friends.
my life has changed so much so fast that i am not coping well. please help me. please god help me. i can not hide the pain like i used to. i scream out at the world and no one seems to hear. i
sometimes wish that god would remove me from this world.
Icry myself to sleep wanting only to be loved. something so simple. something that appears impossible. how can that be. it does not make sense to me. i wish someone would help me. that
help almost never comes. i am dying. i feel it. i am scared. i cry. i cry some more. my thoughts are becoming confused as the years go by all alone and left for dead. the world seems done with me.
i am not important to anyone anymore. some say that i am, but their actions speak differently. what am i to do. i hurt. i hurt. i hurt. its not right.
why am i experiencing this torment that seems unhuman. i am begining to welcome death. to say goodbye. i have finished what good i can do on this earth. people seem ok without me. it is
truely a very wierd feeling. i love so much and give so much. why can i not get a fraction of the same delivered back to me. i really do not know. i try so hard to figure it out but cannot. maybee
i am missing something. i start to think that i am crazy. ugly. wierd. sick. i dont know anymore. i am becoming something that i dont like. old. tired. bitter. pained. cheated. lied to. wronged.
passed by. used. taken advantage of. it slowly weakens me. i begin to accept the fact that no one needs me. they come and take what they need and go. leaving me alone depleted and stripped. i can
not take much more. endless waiting for something that never comes.
i am ready to die right now. i am ok with that. i worry about my son and my father. i worry about my dogs. that is about all that keeps me here. i wish things were different. the way
they used to be. i am having trouble adjusting to this life of pain that has been cast upon me. i am hungry. i am cold. i am tired. please take me away. it is time to go. i dont want to suffer any
i really dont think i can take any more. love is all that i need. it seems hard for others to understand. maybe they have not felt like this. yet. i need a woman to be with. someone to
hold. someone to laugh and smile with. thats all. without that simple ingredient in life i am so sad. with it i am so happy. i will try to go on living the best i can. when i cant any more please
let me go with some dignity and respect. i will try not to burden anyone with my load. i am seeing the end. i love you. thank you.
© Copyright 2016 scott shadden. All rights reserved.