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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Thrillers  |  House: Booksie Classic
scottish short story winner 2011 a journey of the mind ,,, very deep

Submitted: February 05, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 05, 2012





I sit here yet again waiting, watching, as the light fades through the bars, the darkness creeping in slowly enveloping me within the welcome release it always provides for me now. Every day now I wait impatiently for this time to come, I wait for the security within the blanket of darkness, the final click of the key as they make sure they have me locked in. Little do they know they only release me with these actions, to lock me in, to imprison me, because my freedom waits for me as I close my eyes to reality and open my mind to a new existence within my thoughts. “My thoughts” the only thing I control now, but for me the only thing that matters anymore, I have my ultimate freedom as I travel through the outer limits of my mind, a very beautiful and peaceful journey only answering to myself, doing what I want, and being who I want to be with no restrictions. ‘Mad’, ‘insane’, labels I hear them mention as I sometimes hear their chatter outside my room, at times they laugh and curse at me as I mumble in my journeys. They could never understand or believe I gave up my chance to live, but to plead insanity; I was more sane now that I had ever been. My plea of sanity gave a guilty verdict where I was to pay the ultimate price, payment for my actions for lashing out, I had been disturbed in my thoughts, a very unwelcome intrusion in my world. Back then (my Family) had seen me fall into a very cut off and depressed state, I ignored the daily routine of life and lost so much because of it. My wife and all those who I used to hold close, had become more distant every day then as I realised a new level of understanding, I welcomed the change with an open mind as there was no going back for me, there was no reaching me because I didn’t ever want to be reached or touched again by their twisted reality. My then wife’s brother had only come to try and help I suppose, he had tried to shake me out of the state I had fell into and this was where I had reacted, lashing out, punching, kicking till nothing moved to disturb my train of thought anymore, till the stillness returned me to the calmness of my mind. From the moment they found me they had tried to commit me as insane to pay for the hideous scene they had come across, where I was still sitting in a very calm and undisturbed state of mind. I had to fight for my own justice, to plead guilty, to show I was sane and willing to accept the ultimate punishment for my crime which eventually they had to accept. When they sentenced me I looked up and smiled, i nearly laughed out loud for the satisfaction I then felt. In the eyes of the law they had paid society for my crime by sentencing me to death, for me they had given me my ultimate goal, my final freedom on a level they could only dream of ever understanding. I arrived at my new home in style, with personal transport and draped in chains, my very own room at the Hilton just waiting for me, I felt so special, though in their reality they had me chained like an animal ready to be thrown in a cell and locked away. I really annoyed them with my smirk and took a few slaps and punches because of this, they would never remove the inner smile I had, the happiness in knowing they delivered me to my sanctuary, my room. I was to be totally confined, no communication, no walks in the yard, total seclusion for the animal that waits to be put down, for me my freedom and a final chance to clarify the very thoughts that have brought me here to this final chapter on my journey. Some nights are harder than others to fall into my thoughts, i try to close my eyes but i can still hear the distant screams of the others here, waiting with their tormented souls, i can sense the torture in their cries as they suffer, realising that their time is close. They don’t have the understanding or maybe the mental ability to deal with their end, the final moment; you can hear the terror in their souls as they scream out during the night, tears and cries for hope, any sort of hope, though the corridors stay empty as always. The only footsteps they would hear would be the ones they would never want to, for these would be the ones that would drag them kicking and screaming for mercy towards their final fate, they would walk the long walk, the dead man’s walk. Every night now before I drift away I hope, and I pray, to hear my freedom as the key turns so finally releasing me, a comforting thought I take with me as I journey through the world my mind has given me, my safe place, untouched with only my thoughts to fill and shape it. My room, my sanctuary, only holds me now in the physical sense, because now i have gone way beyond any sort of physical form reaching a higher understanding, and with accepting this now i finally have the ultimate freedom for my mind.

When the door eventually opens to ‘my room’ there won’t be any kicking or screaming; only a smile and open arms to embrace the freedom I will have gained at last.


Key in the lock

Freedom calls,

For this dead man’s walk.





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