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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Decisions, Decisions...

Submitted: January 12, 2012

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Submitted: January 12, 2012



I'm beginning to think some people are right: love is overrated. True love is perfect, but since people change, it can fail. It fails because people fail. Friendship isn't much better, because the moment people start looking for self-interest, you will be dropped like an old shoe.

Women I meet are usually one of the following:

1) Too old - 'old enough to be my mother' or older is out.

2) Too young - young enough to be my daughter or younger is out too.

3) Married or otherwise attached - thus, unavailable: I don't want to intrude on someone else's relationship.

4) Addicts of some sort - Having a drink now & then is one thing, counting change to get your next one is another. Also, if you've burned out all your nose hairs (& most of your brain cells) snorting coke, get some help. For any addiction.

5) The victims. No one deserves to be hurt, but some women become so jaded after being hurt they think 'MEN ARE SCUM' & that all men are potential abusers/cheaters/thieves/molesters/heartbreakers.

6) Nut cases of some kind. Includes any of the following:

a)Extreme versions of #5.

b)Those who think they have a God-given right to say & do whatever they please, no matter how it affects their man & their relationship. The Shania Twain song didn't help matters any either, & they will never believe that Mutt Lange wrote it himself as a joke.

c) Religious nuts. I have no problem whatsoever with someone expressing their faith. There's a huge difference between 'I love the Lord' & someone who uses Jesus as an excuse to play 'holier than thou'. Remember - God could have left you where you were, or put you in a far worse position.

d) If you're fine as long as you stay on your meds... [!]

e) The ones who need to grow up - & I don't mean chronologically. This includes the ones who like to holler 'pot callin' da kettle black' yet need to look in the mirror themselves.

A few things I've learned over the years:

'Single' doesn't always mean 'available'. There is no obligation to hook up with someone just because they're unattached. Sometimes people are happy the way things are. (compatibility & whether or not you can get along are also valid issues, too - it takes an equal partnership to make a good relationship)

Being alone & needing someone hurts, but it's no excuse for me being obnoxious & inflicting unwanted attentions & harassment on people who don't deserve it. I've met people on Facebook I knew in school who married & had kids. In a way it hurts, but I'm also happy for them; & I'm not jealous or envious by any means.

Sometimes being 'just friends' can be just as fulfilling & rewarding as any other relationship. Because sometimes you just want someone to talk to, without having to worry about what their intentions are. And it pays in the long run not to have any ulterior motives. Sometimes you do what you simply because it's the right thing to do - not because of any benefit you may or may not get from it.

Some of the worst lines I've heard from women (yes, they do - they're just more subtle about it).

'It's not you, it's me' Yes, one actually said it to me.

'You're such a nice guy -' Women don't want nice guys. Why do you think so many get abused? They want the 'dangerous', 'reckless', 'unpredictable'... 'YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!'

'Let's just be friends' - Right. I've had enough.

The last relationship I was in, 911 happened. Then I waited @10 years for her. Then out of the blue she contacts me again... I found out she didn't even wait 6 months before she hooked up with another guy & had a child with him. Yes, we had promised to be faithful, we discussed emigrating to the US & marriage, we promised forever - so many things. So much for true love. By a stretch of the imagination, it could still work - except now she wants me to come to her country to be with her. In quite a few ways her country is in far worse shape than the US (employment, economics, housing, etc.) (This was the 'Jacqi' I wrote 'Cannot Name This One' for.)

What happened to Lillian? It's not as if anyone cared - if anyone visited her page other than me, they didn't bother to comment. She once told me certain sites are blocked from her side, so maybe that's why she hasn't been in. I first met her on ICQ, which is connected to its Chinese counterpart QQ - & she hasn't been on there in a while either. When we last talked, she was preparing for college, so hopefully that's all that it is.

So in case anyone here is wondering - maybe this is why I haven't been here in so long. I haven't been able to write much of anything since then - a script, if you can call it that (Facebook style), and part of chapter 4 for 'Breath'.

I have no one to look to for inspiration - someone I can share my heart with. If the reader thinks I am exaggerating in this or that it's just writer's block - it may be part of the reason why it took me twenty years to complete my first book.

Maybe I can succeed in another endeavor - my 'dead' project. ...

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