Have you ever seen those adverts on TV with the happy laughing couples? Telling you that for free you could be like them. Just sign up online to various websites now as the man/woman of your dreams is waiting. I’ve seen them, and curiosity enticed me to have a look.
I made my profile, mainly for a giggle and the experience. It had all my details and many photos of me. I got quite a few messages and went on a few dates.... this is my experience.
Within the first hour I received 34 messages all from guys of different ages. The oldest man who messaged me was 57, 37 years my elder. I was sure I had set my age to 20 but I checked again. I had indeed but in the settings I apparently had set it to receive messages from anyone, anywhere. Receiving messages from older men simply asking for sexual relations was not, in my opinion, going to be the man of my dreams so I edited the conditions. I made it that those aged 19-24 could message me and only if the message was over 50 characters. This is where the story gets interesting.
I decided to read and reply to all messages out of politeness but I soon realised this is not something I should have done. Most messages I received said “hi how are you” with 35 kisses at the end to reach the 50 character limit, these I decided not to reply to. However I noticed one guy had been on my profile 7 times a day for at least a week and had sent me that message every day. I thought why don’t you just give up? Clearly I am not going to reply. Yet one day... he sent me a message with a different context. The message said (and I quote) “hi, does your dogs feet smell like cheesy wotsits?” I wish i was joking. I replied saying that I do not own a dog and why was he asking such a strange thing. This guy then proceeded to inform me that he wanted to bottle the scent and sell it on eBay.
Another guy, who seemed quite nice asked me on a date... to KFC. I decided to humor this idea and go along. First of all, the photos he had used on the website must have been heavily photoshopped because this guy looked more like a pug dog than the body builder in his photographs. In his car he proceeded to stall a lot, make the car jolt as he was in the wrong gear and basically showed no knowledge of how to drive (I drive myself so I can comment). Once at the KFC, we proceeded to order food... after going round the drive through twice as he originally didn’t see the order point. We decided to go somewhere to eat our food. This guy took me to a creepy, dark car park and after eating (and by eating I mean scoffing so I could get home and away from this guy) he suggested a nice walk down a lane beside the car park. I declined and demanded he took me home. Worst date of my life so far, or maybe I should say most terrifying. The next day he text me roughly 28 times and facebook messaged me multiple times a day. I blocked and removed him from facebook and this dating website and deleted his number. It took 4 months for him to stop trying to contact me.
I then met up with a different guy who seemed very intellectual and interesting. Again I was incorrect. This guy couldn’t form a grammatically correct sentence to save his life and hadn’t the slightest notion on anything to do with science. So I believe the messages he sent on the website must have been from Wikipedia. The worst thing he also sounded like Joe Pasquale, I kid you not. This led me to start giggling every time he tried to talk. This date proceeded in picking up his friend and going for a drive around Belfast. Not as interesting as I had originally hoped for. I am now friends with this guy but I have made it clear that in my opinion he will be single forever unless he retakes his English GCSE exams.
Finally after hundreds of creepy messages with guys telling me what sexual things they would like to do to me, a very attractive boy from Ballymena messaged me for the 8th time. I never opened his messages before but I thought, well he seems keen enough I may as well reply. After messaging each other and talking on Skype, we met up and went to the cinema. Not the recommeneded place for a first date but there was a new horror movie out which I really wanted to see. We then went for a drive and kissed. I started dating this guy regularly, we went up Slemish mountain on our second date and I can’t remember the rest because I have erased them from my memory.
This guy seemed nice at the start but when things became official between us, he seemed completely disinterested in anything other than sex. No texts or phonecalls were made during the time we were apart and I seen him from Saturday night and would part on Monday night. There were plenty of arguments because it seemed everything I liked he decided to hate. I soon decided to end the relationship and he showed no signs of caring.
After that I decided dating websites were not for me. People can be whoever they want to be on the internet but you cannot hide who you are in real life. On the internet you can be the sweetest, most attentive guy in the world and then in real life become a disinterested asshole. Excuse my language but there truly is no nicer adjective to describe him with.
So before you go on these websites with the hope of finding your true love, please, give normal real life dating another few years chance or you too will come across the creeps of the nation that I have had the displeasure of encountering.
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