Infomercial: Mornings

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
I wrote this on the 1 1/2hour long bus ride to a Monday morning 9am class when it was still dark in the morning.

Submitted: December 11, 2009

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Submitted: December 11, 2009

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Do you like the darkness of night?
Do you prefer to be the only one awake?
Then have we got the time of day for you!
Ever hear of 5 AM?
That’s in the morning, my friends,
And in the morning the sun rises,
not sets, rises!
And from the east, I said it!
No you heard me right kids, the east!
Coffee is the morning alcohol,
and you can drive as hyped up as you want to be!
Mornings are about you.
Get catchy lines like:
"I woke up on the wrong side of the bed"
and
"I hate Mondays"
and lines like
"you-know how tooth paste just knocks out the taste of
mould until you eat up to the fuzzy part of
your toast? Fuck I hate life"
You can have these moments too!
It's all yours with 5 quick and easy payments of
19.99 (mostly for the clock radio)
(clock radios are only available for the first 10 customers)
(batteries not included)
(we are not responsible for any accidents
that occur under the influence of caffeine)
Mornings are not available in stores;
Here’s how to order…


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