The Beauty in Life

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is my contest entry this title was recommended by a friend so thanks to him this is about a girl whos grandparents die

Submitted: August 17, 2012

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Submitted: August 17, 2012

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It's funny how you never realize that you're in a before until you neck

deep in the after. Struggling to breath because you feel like your drowning.

The only thing I want to do is go back in time and erase everything that has

happened. And me in the process or to be able to just go back. Back to when

my days were full of light and the sun shown and I could really feel it heat down

to my bones. But most of all I wish I wasn't here. Here in this room listening to words

I don't ever want to hear coming from his mouth. I didn't think anything could hurt this

much. Not after loosing her. Then him soon after to his work and endless trips. I'm done

listening to him. I'm don't want to hearing how his voice breaks on the words he is trying to force

out. The explanation of why this is happening. I don't care anymore. I am sick of seeing

his tears and his pain when he is so blind to mine. So I leave. It's just that simple. I stand up

from the uncomfortable wooden chair I had sat in when he told me to he had bad news.

I just stand up and walk across the cold tiled kitchen floor barefoot. Grab my black

leather jacket as an after thought and my keys. I ignore his voice calling after me asking me

where I'm going scared, worried and confused. I should probably feel bad for leaving him

in this state but i don't. He was never there after she died so why should I be there for him?

As I walk out into the late afternoon sun the fall colors seem so bright and

inappropriate for the tragedy that had just happened. This makes me quicken my

pace not wanting to stay in the sunlight and fresh air longer then needed. As I open the

door to my old ugly 1979 Ford who I had named Frank in an uncommon act of affection. I

don't even stop to enjoy just being alone like I usually do. I just jump in and start the engine

and then back out of the drive way. I know the route like the back of my hand. Although its not

usually me driving when I go to the lake house . Its usually Grandpa because he's usually

dropping me off back home after staying there when Dad went off on one of his business trips.

Before I was old enough to be alone and take care of myself. I always loved those rides even if I

was on my way back. Grandpa and I had time alone to talk and he understood me more

then anyone in the family. Well besides Mom but shes gone now and part of me with her. I didn't

even notice I 'm crying until I realize I cant see the road clearly but its ok because I'm almost there.

As I pull up the long gravel drive way I can already see the lake glisten with sunlight and the small

cabin next to it.

As I climb out if the car I don't even bother to shut the door behind me. I follow the well worn path

to the cabin stumbling over rocks and falling but getting up without even stopping to wipe the

dirt off my hands. This place is so full of memories its hard to breath. I remember when I was little

about 5 the summer before she got sick and everything changed. Just another before.

I remember skipping up the path my Mom's hand and Dad's hand tucked safely in mine. Excited

at the thought if seeing Grandma and Grandpa who i hadn't seen since last summer. As we reached the

cabin the door flung open and there was Grandma standing in the door way arms open for the hug I always

gave her. This year was no exception. Being in her arms always seemed like the safest place in the world. Hers

and Mom's. Then it was Grandpa's turn and he scooped me up and spun me around and I felt invincible in

his big strong arms. I remember them telling me they had a surprise for me. I was so excited I could burst

but they said it had to wait till sunset . I remember fidgeting and not being able to sit still all though dinner

but finally the moment arrived. So we all walked down to the side of the lake me skipping the

whole way and there hanging from a tree at the side of the lake is a little wooden swing with my name engraved

in the seat. Grandpa leaned over then and said

"So you can always watch the sunset you love so much and remember the beauty in life."

He got me that well even back then. So from that night along with all the following that summer we all sat on the

bank,me on my swing of honor and watched the sunset. That summer was magic and the last I would spend with

Mom out at the summer house.

That school year Mom started complaining about headaches and we soon found out that she had brain cancer. They

started chemo but nothing was helping. Dad was desperate to find something that would work and I wasn't sure what was

happening only that Mom wasn't feeling good. That summer I went alone to the cabin because Mom was to sick to get

out of bed. Dad wanted to stay with her. I think they all know that the end going to be soon and they didn't want me to be there

to see it. I remember the exact day it happened it was about 7 at night. The phone rang and Grandma picked it up

and said something. Then all of a sudden she just dropped the phone and slide down to the floor with a hand over her mouth.

There were giant tears rolling down her cheeks. Somehow i knew what happened and I had to get out of there.

Just out. All I remember is running out of the house toward the lake as fast as possible then stopping at the edge and picking up

rocks. They told me later it took them an hour to find me and when they did I was just standing there tears ruining down my

face throwing rock after rock after rock into the lake.

After that I don't remember much they took me home and I said nothing. It was months until I started talking again. I don't

really remember the funeral either just that the sun was shining and that was when I released the weather could give a damn

about us mer mortals. I spent the rest of the summer in my room only leaving at night and then only for the bathroom and

scrapes of food. You ask were my dad is in all of this? He was to consumed by his own grief and for that he lost his wife and his

daughter.

Eventually when school started I had to leave my room although i never speak. I wasn't stupid and the other kids left me alone.

I grew up very fast for a 7 year old but that tend to happen when you lose your mother who was your best friend who understood

you like no one else and your father also.As soon as school start dad started going on his business trips. Grandpa and

Grandma came to watch me. Then on weekend we stayed at the lake house they soon became my second family. Grandma was

like the mother I so badly need and Grandpa like the father. I still missed her though.

She was like sunlight with her tall willowy frame and long beautiful shiny blond hair. Her laugh sounded like bells and she

always seemed to be up to mischief or trying to make me and Dad laugh. She also loved adventure at random times and places.

Like we would be driving down the highway and she would stop and pull over the car because she saw a trail. So we would

follow it just to see how far it went and what we could spot. Once we saw a fawn and its mother drinking from a stream and it

was so beautiful and peaceful I wanted to stay there forever. And she was constantly painting and sketching me or Dad. She

covered our walls with the sketches but she always swore it was only a habit and she wasn't very good at it. She was the most

amazing artist to live if you ask me. We both shared our love of art which made us bond on a very deep level even though I was

young. She was even teaching me how to draw. Dad has packed up must of her stuff over the years to painful i guess. But I still

have a picture of us all together smiling and happy such a long time ago.

Standing here thinking about her isn't helping me stop crying. I just cant believe what he has told me. He has to be lying

because they cant be gone just like her without warning or goodbyes not possible right? Please? I start moving now fast quicker

with more purpose. He has to be wrong I'll prove it. Now I'm flat out running and then I'm banging on the door but no one is

answering. But they have to! They just have to! Finally after banging at the door for what seems like an hour I'm exhausted. I

slide down to the ground all the fight taken out of me. With my back to the door

I can now see that their car isn't there and he wasn't lie to me. They really are gone. Shreds of what he said comes floating

through my mind"There's been a car accident", "Grandma and Grandpa were in it", "Truck driver falling asleep at the wheel",

"Car to small", "Never had a chance" and last of all "I'm so sorry"

The more I think about it the more I know its true and the more I don't want it to be. Because if its true then I am alone.

Completely and utterly alone.

For some reason I find myself standing and stumbling down to the lake side. When I get there its sunset and its so painfully

beautiful and heart breaking because the people I want aren't here with me. Then there's my swing with my named carved on

the seat I trace over the word with my shacking fingers "Megan". A tear drop lands on the bottom curve of the g and sparks

there for a second caught in one of the last rays of sun and it shines with amazing beauty. Just like the vast lake in front of me.

Then the words grandpa told me when he gave me the swing come back to me. "So you can watch the sunset you so love and

remember the beauty in life".

Then I realize that I forgot the beauty in life when Mom died but my grand parents were there but even they couldn't completely

make me understand but now I really do. Life is amazing and beautiful but its also very short and you should it enjoy it. Even

when you love someone and they have to leave you, always remember them but remember them by doing things that would

have made them proud. I have wasted so much of my time ignore Dad and trying to never get close to anyone. I am a

shamed but that will change I promise you Grandpa, Grandma and Mom right here and right now I swear. I am still crushed by

your deaths but I have finally opened my eyes. I look up at the sunset and instead of begrudging it for being bright and

beautiful when the world isn't

always. I thank it for reminding me there is beauty in the world and as it final sets and leaves me in darkness I hear something.

I turn around and there he is, Dad hair a mess wild eyed and I finally realize its not him who has been selfish and consumed

by their own grief. He's just trying to deal with it same as me except he didn't really have Grandma and Grandpa. So he did it the

only way he knew how. By working. It was me who was selfish and so I run toward him and yell "Daddy!" And he catches me

and I haven't felt that safe and warm since Mom died. Then I know, I know right now and for sure that we will be ok. I just know

we will if we have each other.


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