69 Ways to Annoy Your Teacher

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Hehe,these work great,hope everyone likes them and finds them affective if put into use ;)

Submitted: December 03, 2013

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Submitted: December 03, 2013

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Here They Are CX

1. Repeatedly ask "why?" for every statement he/she says

. 2. Produce random noises [Ex: Whistles, Clicking, Tapping, etc.] as much as possible.

3. Answer questions you don't have the answer to with smart replies, such as "I can not define the value of x further, as it would go against my religion to prove the existence of the holy x."

4. Go into an argument over tiny details if he/she explains something.

5. Write illegibly.

6. If failed, claim discrimination against midgets and or fans of "glee".

7. Get the paper wet.

8. Use an incredibly light pencil.

9. Say an incredibly inflammatory statement like; "Everyone is stupid and kills cats." Then call your teacher naive for any objections.

10. Spell everything wrong.

11. Answer each question with a type of cheese.

12. Defecate on the test paper.

13. Include photoshopped picture of teacher hugging Kim Jong Un, but with Backstreet Boys songs.

14. When someone talks act like you're The Annoying Orange.

15. Unscrew one table leg crossbeam on each class table.

16. Make sculpture out of textbooks, scream and call teacher a philistine for putting it down.

17. Demand to be called by the name "Ass Puncher".

18. Use construction paper that consists of the same color of ink you're using.

19. Trip all kids that go by you.

20. Get a perfect score on a test or homework sheet, then fart on his/her desk.

21. Type every word ina different font. Alternate between really big fonts with really small fonts.

22. Bring candles and incense to class. Before handing in the paper, perform an elaborate ceremony, entreating the gods to bless the paper and correct all your typos.

23. Carve your paper on the bathroom wall.

24. Cite issues of Spiderman and Batman as resources in your bibliography.

25. Come to class leading a horse or camel. When asked to turn in the paper, take it out of one of your saddlebags, then shoo the horse/camel/whatever away. Refuse to discuss it.

26. Compare and contrast the characters of James T. Kirk and Jean-Luc Picard. Claim that one is actually Hamlet, and the other is King Lear. Say that Worf is Ophelia.

27. Draw obscure connections between totally unrelated things. For example, claim that abnormal amounts of neutrino activity in Germany caused Hitler to invade France, or that the Roman empire collapsed because of a shortage of qualified botanists.

28. Draw pictures of your professor in the margins.

29. End the paper with "This paper will self-destruct in 10 seconds."

30. Get a large piece of paper or canvas. Smear paint all over it and hand it in as your paper. Explain that the topic was such an emotional one for you, and that mere words couldn't possibly express what you had to say.

31. Hand your paper in in a sealed envelope with postmarks from several different countries on it. Say that you wanted several different perspectives on your work.

32. If assigned a 2000-word paper, draw two pictures of what the paper was supposed to be about. After all, a picture is worth 1000 words, right?

33. If assigned a paper in philosophy class, explain that you can't do the paper because you're not sure if the class really exists, or if it and the professor are just illusions created by your subconscious. If you do end up writing the paper, write about whether or not the paper actually exists.

34. Make a footprint on the back of one of the pages. When questioned by the professor, act like it's nothing unusual. After all, he did tell you to include footnotes.

35. Make a tape of you singing the contents of your paper, opera style, and hand that in.

36. Make your paper one long, never ending sentence that goes on for pages and pages and pages; use a lot of semi-colons, commas, and other interesting, rarely-used punctuation marks but never ever end the sentence.

37. Ol, switch alound arr the L's and R's in youl papel, rike Monty Python did in Queen Erizabeth the Thild.

38. On the day the paper is due, skip into class, waving the paper and screaming, "I have a paper! I have a paper!". Run around the class a few times, then joyfully throw it out the window. Laugh and yell, "There's my paper!", then run outside to get it. Repeat this all through the period, or until your teacher throws you out.

39. Paint a large white stripe down the front of your paper. Say that on the way to class, you dropped it in the street and it got run over by one of those trucks that paint lines on the road.

40. Perfume the paper with catnip. Explain that it was to keep your dog from eating it.

41. Poke several holes in the paper. Say that you were mobbed by crows on the way to class.

42. Print all the pages on one sheet of paper, with the text overlapping. Say that that was all the paper you had.

43. Put nonsense words down as quotes. Say that you are quoting the words of a well-known Zen master whom was speaking in tongues at the time.

44. Pretend you have a speech impediment and always type w's whenever you weary want to type r's ow l's.

45. Refer to all prominent historical figures by nicknames. For example, call George Washington "Georgie". Call Ben Franklin "Sparky".

46. Refuse to do the paper on account of the fact that you are a member of Greenpeace and strongly object to the gratuitous slaughter of tress cause by the massive amount of paper used in writing assignments.

47. Spill a martini on your sociology paper. Say that you wrote it in a bar so that you could see "sociology in action".

48. Staple a picture of an academic building on the paper. Cite the picture as a resource.

49. Support your thesis with quotes from your VCR manual.

50. Switch the names of prominent historical figures with the names of your friends, classmates, etc. Claim that your roommate led the Spanish Armada.

51.Ttyyppee eevveerryy lleetteerr ttwwiiccee..

52. Tell the professor that you need an extension because one of your primary sources is an old wise man in Tibet and he won't see you untin the next full moon.

53. The night before the paper is due, call the professor and explain that you can't turn your paper in because it contains sensitive military information and is only available on a "need to know" basis. Insist that Gneral Schwarzkopf says you should get an 'A'.

54. Turn in a letter you wrote to your cousin. When the teacher confronts you about it, say that you must have gotten the letter and the paper mixed up. Say that you'll turn the paper in as soon as you get it back, but your cousin lives in Siberia, so it might take a while. (This is a nifty way to get an extension).

55. Turn the paper in by making paper airplanes out of the pages of the paper and attempting to fly them onto your teacher's desk.

56. Type gibberish. When you hand it in, claim that your computer crashed while you were printing it, and you couldn't retrieve the original.

57. Use a forklift to bring your paper to class, even if it's only a few pages. Explain that it involved some very heavy reading.

58. When writing an especially long paper, put a recipe for chocolate cake in the middle and see if the professor notices.

59. When your prof asks for an outline of your paper, draw the outline of the piece of paper you typed it on and hand it in.

60. Write a paper discussing why Michelangelo got to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but Van Gogh didn't. Discuss whether Van Gogh would have used nunchakus or katanas.

61. Write about whether Plato would have said that Miller Light is "less filling" or that it "tastes great". Also explain why Aristotle would have taken the opposite view. Try to predict both philosophers' reactions to Spuds McKenzie.

62. Write the entire paper on Post-it notes and turn it in by sticking them all over the professor's door.

63. Write your history paper on parchment, using a quill. Say that you were trying to get the feel for the period.

64. Write your paper by cutting out words from magazines and sticking them on the page, ransom-note style.

65. Write your psychology on possible genetic anomalies that might cause a person to prefer anchovies.

66. When the teacher says to "take a seat", you answer, "take it where?"

67. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, you answer "Absent."

68. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, you answer "Yo mama."

69. When it's silent or when the teacher is calling roll or explaining a lesson, make random sex noises but then quickly turn them into coughs. [Ex: *AH~*coughcough*][My friend came up with this and tried it.Trust me, this one gets them every time.


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