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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Its a misadventure.
never desire to go to a police station. You are crazy if you do so..

Submitted: March 10, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 10, 2012



The fan is moving above my head in this unknown place. There are some impassive people moving around in similar clothes, may be it’s their uniform. Entering the room, exiting, and then coming back again. I am wondering why the hell I am rite now almost nude, wrapped in this blanket? My cousins have come to take me back. Their conversation is not reaching my numb ears. Everything seems to be so slow may be because of my last nights’ misadventure. There is a possibility that I slept less last night or may be I didn’t sleep at all considering my sunken eyes which are burning right now. What has happened last night that I am gathering sympathy from these terrified looking cousins of mine? Is it the last night’s hangover? No. I don’t drink. Probably I never did till last night. May be I did. Concentrate. My eyelids strained and my forehead wrinkled. Raped? NO!. How can that be? No. I must have got drunk. I hope so. “Shaarif , she would give you an injection right now.”, Arman says in a concerned voice. A girl is standing before me with an injection in her hand and a pair of glasses clinging to her nose. Why the hell is she smiling with this deadly injection in her hand?. All queer thoughts are coming to my confused and lost mind. Is this a conspiracy against me? Staring her for a while I say, “Why? What’s wrong with me?” “Don’t worry. Don’t think much. Relax Shaarif, you just had a bad night .” She comes close to give me that injection. I lean back and close my eyes taking a deep breath. The burning in my eyes is now fading away and a chill is passing through my body. Things are becoming clear. Oh my God. I smile for a few seconds and then looking around I start laughing. “ See what I told you..”, someone says. “ No Doc, he is fine. I know him. Just a bit tired and that’s all.” I hear Arman saying. But now I don’t give a damn to their conversation. I am just trying to recollect how it all went so wrong?

Well, it was quite dumb and dullard of me to think such a thing. I had this crazy idea, a nutty excitement of being caught by the police, beaten brutally for nothing or something like that, so that I may boast of this experience. I thought I could get out with a good story which would sell like hot cakes. So I expressed my sick desperation to a friend. “Tease a girl. It’s the easiest way to reach your destination Shaarif.” I was told. I thought about this for many days. I thought about the many possible ways in which I could bump on a girl, the various methods which I could use. I made a list of the girls who could be teased. “Should I tease those whom I know or those whom I don’t know?”, I thought to myself. I bought myself some clothes too. After all I was going to tease a girl. But then a thought struck my mind which crushed all aspirations. What if I am not handed over to the police but to the girl’s kins? I didn’t want to get a beating from some silly girls’ brothers so as to write some shitty love story. I cancelled all the plans immediately. I kept on wondering for many days until I heard about the recent practice of the police in our locality of catching anybody in the night and making a terrorist out of them. “This would be a great experience but a little risk”, I thought to myself. But the crazy curiosity about such things flushed out all myyou are a terroristfears and I decided finally what I am going to do.

As planned I sneaked out of my house Saturday night. I was so excited, jovial and full of energy to accomplish this mission. I had planned things according to my imagination and now I was standing in the street facing the reality. The night was darker than I had ever seen. I didn’t look around for a while and kept on looking at my own feet which were moving forward. I was afraid to look around thinking that somebody might spring out from any of the dark corners. My own shadow, which formed occasionally when I came across a dwelling which had a tiny bulb hanging outside, scared me. I felt as if somebody was following me. I could hear the lizards as well as the scowls of the owls. The wind seemed to have some voice in that eerie silence. Perhaps it was telling me to go back home. But I was too determined. I raised my head to see the three collinear stars of Orion shining brightly. Then there were other stars which were all alone but yet twinkling. I felt better and hoped to be caught soon. Turning around the corners of the streets without looking back, I had now lost my way. The crying of dogs from far away was not a comforting thing too. I just happened to pass a building on whose gates I saw a watchman dozing off and his transistor was still switched on playing the old songs and breaking monotony of the night. I kept on changing lanes in search of the police which patrols during this time of the night. “Are they sleeping too like that watchman?” I fretted in anguish. “They should catch me soon before the night gets over”, I hoped. Beggars were sleeping soundly around the corners and leaning against the walls. My sleek movement came to a pause when I heard some faint voices from a nearby place. This was the turning point of the night when I turned back to follow these voices instead. The hysterical noises, women screaming then laughing, a heavy voice flowing in the air, all these had a mystical effect on me. Although it chilled me yet it attracted me. So I tried to figure out which street these voices were coming from. I kept on coming closer and closer following the voices. Finally I was standing in the dark with this group sitting beside a wall in front of me. They couldn’t see me until I defiantly threw the light of my torch on them. “ Hey, you!”, one of the heavy voices exclaimed as if offended. I was scared out of my wits and was standing in complete stupor. My heart was pounding so heavily that I could feel the heaviness in my legs. Almost all of them bolted towards me. As they came nearer their faces, their shapes, their features became clearer to me. What looked like ugly women from far away were ugly men trying to be women I realized. I was in shock and kept standing still. One of the masculine faces with long hair said,” What is this tramp doing so late at night?”. Another said mockingly,” What’s up?”. They surrounded me. I tried to get out but in vain. One of them snatched away my torchlight, another, my watch. “The jacket is good”, one said. I wore off the jacket. Suddenly I realized what the hell was happening in real. I won’t explain further but what I want to tell is that I ran from that place almost nude. The mocking hysterical voices kept on following me and I kept on running until I reached a dark shade. Now I was standing beneath a shade of a dark and dingy construction site wearing nothing but an underwear. I breathed heavily and the thought of just escaping a rape shook me. I don’t feel ashamed or disgraced in accepting that I could have wetted my pants then but ironically there were no pants to support my cause too. I wanted to go home now. But this humiliation wasn’t enough. Some uncountable pair of eyes were staring me. Those eyes, those colorful, luminous eyes took the shit out of me. What I realized now was that I have disturbed this hound of dogs by coming to their abode. I stood still, silently. I could see their eyes shining in the dark looking still too. I could hear their panting. Then one of them began making soft noises. I heard that if some new dog comes to a locality then the dogs of that locality chases him out considering him a foreigner. “Buddies, I am no doggy”, I said in a low voice. The roaring and the barking became louder and more ferocious. I moved back slowly turned my back and ran as fast as I could. To be chased by this hound of beasts was worse than running away from some ugly men, I thought. Adrenaline rushed through my body and I kept my pace. I could hear them barking behind me insanely. While escaping I saw a tiny shop on one of the sides. There was no light but its shutter was not down too. Without any supposition or imagination I sneaked into it. There was a disaster, a catastrophe inside, chaos; loud noises began crying out in utter shock and bewilderment. After all what could be a possible reaction of some burglars who had never imagined that a nude guy would gatecrash their plans and that too at such a dark night and so late. There was a complete confusion. I could not comprehend who these people were and neither could they. May be they took me as a nude ghost who had come to punish them. I cried and so did they. The noises became louder and awoke the neighborhood. Then there was a chaos outside too. “Chor! Chor! Chor! (Thieves! Thieves! Thieves! ) “, these cries were swaying in the whole locality. People besieged the shop. There was no way out. I sat down leaning against the wall. The bad guys couldn’t recover from the shock. They were staring me, puzzled and unconcerned about being caught by the police in a little while. They wanted to solve this ghostly mystery first. I was embarrassed, sitting cross-legged and expressionless. I horrified them unintentionally. The police siren came nearer and nearer. People cleared the way for the policemen to come inside. The policemen initially glanced at the thieves sitting on one side helplessly. “Take them to the van!”, one of them said. The thieves shrugged. One of the constables then took his gaze towards me. “Saab, look what is this.”, he pointed towards me. I was embarrassed but still I was satisfied. Finally the police had caught me red handed. I looked up to the officer and said, “Catch me. I am a thief too.”, The bad guys started laughing crazily.” Saab this insane bastard has scared the wits out of us.”, one of them said to the officer. I stood up and looked at the officer’s face straightly and said “I am a thief, believe me”. Then I received a tight everlasting slap on my face. I could hear bells clinging in my ears. This side of my face went numb. I fainted.

What I realize now is that I have landed myself into a mental asylum instead of the police station. I am rite now laughing at my ludicrous mission which went so wrong. Arman is right. I am quite in my senses. May be I wasn’t last night but I have a reason to ridicule myself rite now. A person who deliberately wants to land in a police station deserves a mental asylum indeed. It was a little risk I took last night.

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