Short Sergies Volume II

In Trouble

I’m not really in to poetry

But I like girls and they like me

So when I want a hug or kiss

I write a poem just like this

I know just how to get a smile

And make them happy for a while

Until another comes along

And I write a brand new song…

That is when I get in trouble

Boys Will Be Boys

There were hours of drinking, smoking, cursing and guitar

And the bruises on my face from the fight behind the bar

Add to the list of things not to say when drunk and bored

My Tundra can outhaul any piece of shit Chevy, Dodge or Ford

I didn’t actually do this myself.  But I watched…

Women Are From Vina, Men Are From Mars Hill

First you tell me I should never marry

And how jealous that you are

Because I’m free

Then you go on and on for hours

“She’s crazy man…

My wife’s a fucking B!”

But alcohol is flowing

And smoke fills the air

The truth comes out

“I’d never do it again

But I love that girl

I can’t do without!”

You have no idea how many times I’ve had that conversation.

I’ll Never Live Anywhere…

that does not have a Waffle House

where instant tea or coffee is considered acceptable

where they’ll come get you just for saying something

that doesn’t have a driving range and a golf course

where people don’t make eye contact with you

where there aren’t cats and dogs

where I can’t park a pickup truck

where I don’t have enough land for a garden

that does not have trees and birds and rodents

where there is too much traffic

where people are rude

where they sell drugs on the corner

where there are snowdrifts every winter

where I can’t walk to the store

where I can’t buy individual guitar strings

that doesn’t have Bammers and Barners

But I don’t mind if you live in a place like that.  There isn’t enough room in my neighborhood for all of you.

Okay, I’ll really try to write a “poem”.

Anticipation

I can count the number of days

When we go from brown to green

Cold to hot, grey to all the colors of spring

A time to start again

Maybe this time will be better

There is a chance we learned something

And we can watch

The ones just starting out

One more time the game begins

I should probably stick to being funny.