State Of The State Message From Governor Knekk

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


Message from an idiot who cheated his way into the Governor's mantion

Submitted: February 25, 2018

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Submitted: February 25, 2018

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Misspelling is intentional, because he's an idiot:

 

"Frens, kinstitunce, dis iz Guvner Earal Eger Nek, an Ima claren dat da stayt ov da stayt iz excelant, contrari ta wat sum dum basterds ar tellen ya. They's prolly comunest simple--err--simplethizirn skumm! Howa du Eye kno da stayt uf ar stayt iz sroyang? 'Cuz guwen sayals thru owet da stayt ar duin lanfil bizinus. Eya know dat sum ar aginst wat duh Presadant, Dowanill Trumpe, posituns iz, buwat skrew dem, auntie-Amerikan badterds! Da leweft iz opinli ruting fer hyme too fayal. Wel, Eya gowet sum newes fer ya liberil muthar-f---err--voteres, tuf shiyet! Cuz nowet olni iz hee gunna cede, Hees gunna kyke ayas, ayand Alibami wyl bee righet thar wid tew wayach. Nowe-Eye donut meen dat inn kno gaya wayy, 'cawas Eger dowent gree wid dat sheet, cawas iyat sayes inn da Bibel, dat dat shet aint gowed. Owa, dat wud bee ryden awes! Nevar miyand. Weyal, frens, ya wil bee toweld bi liberils dat ya bee doin bayd, butt donut ya beleev iyat, ya aint doin bayad, widonut dem basterds shuwet mi py whowel--wa donat daya shuwet dar pi whowes? Dats bowet awal frum mi--gud niyat, awen mayy dis stayt bee blesed bi an hiyar forec"


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