To Self

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is a story written about me in the point of view of the person who know me best, myself. It's narrated by that little voice we tend to talk to when we are alone and I believe that if we stop and take some time, we may find something interesting lying inside of us that can truly tell us who we are.

Dear Handsome Devil,

I am so pleased to hear that your first assignment in AP English is to get to know us better. Your bottomless soul needs some serious redecorating and de-webbing; maybe you should call Home Makeover or something. You know you have many locked doors and stairwells that lead to nowhere, don’t you? What’s up with that! Afraid I will discover something worth finding? And another thing, even though I am the groundskeeper for our body, doesn’t give you the right to go around and make a mess of everything. And it wouldn’t kill you to get some intensive exercise once and awhile and even get over the fear of tennis balls marrying marshmallows. Really! Come on, that is such a lame fear. Now having your mom be your personal bodyguard on your Tuesday and Thursday dates is a great fear to fear. Ok, ok that is enough about what’s going on inside of you. Now let’s get to the parts of what’s going on with you and your life.

So kid, on your file that reads “Me, Myself, and I,” is it really all about you or is that over exaggerated? It says here that one of your dreams is to go off and become a dancing ballerina in space; and a goal of yours is to come to school dressed in nothing more than your backpack and batman underwear, is that true? Oh my bad, those are just some fears and failed ambitions. Or are they? On line 83 of subsection 21, it says that one hope in your life is to go out on a date with Kat from Victorious. You know she is insanely crazy, but than again my eye sees otherwise. I hope that comes true. It is written in black ink on black piece of paper that a problem of yours is getting past the fine line between friend and girlfriend because you are afraid of what the girl will say of you behind your back. Come on dude, you are the coolest cat with a hat not that of puss in boots, but you still is a ladies slayer. Just be confident and before you know it, you’ll have one in your arms. Guaranteed from yourself. Go get ‘em!

From this book off of the top shelf in your livesbrary, it reads of the following as so, “Born: 4/12/95; Modesto, Ca; 4:12 in the afternoon.” If this information is correct, which by the looks of legitimacy it is, then you should be cruising down the highway in your 2004 Impala. Come on, out with it, and lets see the excuses. Wow there has to be at least a thousand of them. I like this one, “Afraid that car will break down near a band of circus clowns having a cup of tea down by the stretch of the highway.” The second edition to the volume I just picked up reads on to some beefy information. Growing up you lived under the comforts of your mother, played Parcheesi with the local 2 year olds, won a trophy for biggest bass caught, played little league on a girls season, cut your hand after climbing a fence because you thought there was no gate, but there was, you lived on a hill top as a king over your neighbors, and opened a changing room stall only to discover a woman jaw dropped by an infant in a stroller who was trying to escape the clutches of his mother changing in the stall next door. Ha! That one is hilarious and it goes on to say that you thought that women was after you and to make it all go away, you bawled out and told your mom while sitting on the toilet. This is a blackmailing gold mine!

Ok so I picked out this red book with a heart on it. I found it in a drowned car’s trunk after swimming down into the pits of a stomach inside a giant octopus. And it was worth it. That is weird; it says here on the opening page in bold letters, “Everyone is given the benefit of the doubt, until known otherwise.” And what is also weird, is that a lot of people in here who are a part of your family and you know little about them are considered deceased. ??? Here’s something, you have a mom and a dad, two grandmas and a grandpa, a brother and a sister, an aunt and two uncles, a niño and niña, and three cousins who you love very much with your little red heart. You have tons of friends who go bonkers over your spread able love on your whole wheat toast of justice. Ooh la, la and it looks like this handsome devil has two eyes on too many fair maidens in the land of high school.

To be able to map out your room for small miniaturized people will be asking someone to do the impossible, just try asking those invisible people. Everyone’s home is like a kingdom to themselves. For instance, it could be living in a tree or under a rock, but someone in this world will come to love it. And then there comes the throne. Where is it and what is it? Inside of us, my throne reigns from the master working network of the body, la cabeza de casa, known as “The Brain.” You know your brother’s throne is the toilet; it’s his little sanctuary from any possible work or chores around the house. I think a possession that we may hold dear to us is that 14 karat gold jigglypuff icon we got from a hermit looking man trying to do business in the flea market. Coming to think about it, I hope it’s gold because otherwise I would cry for us both. One of our favorite places to go and explore the minds of the cookies out there is the movie theatres. We go there at least once a month to watch an incredible movie cookies make in big boxes and turn a small space into a world unimaginable. You know what the say in Chemistry, “Today’s science fiction is tomorrow’s reality.”

Now let’s take a peak into a blue book with silver gleaming stars and a title that reads, “Achieving Greatness.” It says here that when achieving greatness, don’t take a sip out of your teacup, but rather take life by the gallon. No, no lets change that with a number two pencil. Here we go much better, “Achieve greatness not by taking life by the teacup, but rather enjoy it in large quantities with the people you love.” Now that’s much better because it is clear and to the point. With my little eye, I read on to feed my own little brain that recently you have done both XC and wrestling in your sophomore year. Cheerio, ol’ boy! Two of the toughest sports because in them it is all about you and team support; there’s no backing out till the day is up. It also goes on to describe a dirty little secret you like to do and that is WASTING TIME! You are probably the biggest procrastinator out there. Sorry for dropping all of this down on you like a pile of doo-doo. But seriously man, you gotta shape up. There is a world out there full of procrastinators; what this world really needs are leaders and doers. Try being a doer and get missions accomplished.

The future is a crazy, whacked up place. Not even I, the brains of every operation, will know what is going to happen. The future can be predicted through patterns and observations, but not even a time traveling brainiac hamster from the future beyond is going to precisely know what is going to become of everything. The only person that we believe that knows for sure is Jesus our Lord and Savior. The books in here show some significant background on Christianity, but some situations need to be dug deeper for better understanding to share. So because the future is masked by uncertainty through an endless list of outcomes that may come upon us, let’s have some fun with this. Shall we? In the future, there will be world peace when the oceans consume countries after counties. We live in our built skyscrapers in the sky which have long poles coming up out of the bottomless water. There’s a magical rainbow stairway that leads from the earth to the moon and everyone goes there to get deep sleep by watching the cow jumping over the moon. The sun builds character values to where sometimes it leaves on vacation and mankind is left with an awful fortnight of an ice age. Everyone seems to obtain powers that allow them to keep the order of living: they thrive in the ocean, fly in the sky, talk to animals, sing hypnotic tunes to bring peace in the air, or even create anything to use or see just entirely on thoughts and imagination. Another vision that comes inside my mixed feeling shows that life is happier by the way how time and life seems to stop altogether through the counter rotations of a green and blue marble in a full spectrum of marbles turning in opposite ways. Oh and when we are 25 with a sweet stache, we will meet the one special woman from our dreams, marry her, and live a comfy life of raising a baby monkey army in the country side.

Before I sign off, let’s take a look into a big book called, “Taking a Trip Down Memory Lane.” Even though life may get a little yahooy, we should always take time into remembering the memories that run through our blood and pumps us up into the people we are. Those memories are: taking a missionary trip to the Philippines, sprinting to victory in the pulsating flour bomb war, the lost feeling of being safe overruned by rushing adrenaline on roller coasters, smiling when times feel they couldn’t get any better, but they do, and many more wild recollections that come and go like cows in a freeman land. So keep in mind my dear friend, always try to look for the best out of everything and also know that people who despise you or don’t want to get to know you, know this, “It’s there loss!” So stay handsome and fly wherever you go.

Sincerely,

That little voice inside of you :)


Submitted: May 29, 2012

© Copyright 2022 Sergi Oyeah. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Mackenzie James

funny and clever, and incredibly relate able! Keep up the good work! I'm a fan!

Tue, May 29th, 2012 11:29pm

JDP

Sup! I found this when I saw "Random First Lines" and couldn't resist.
Not bad, a little looong--but some of us are just lazy ;-P I thought this letter was to the teacher--a really hawt teacher, but now I just realise this guy (you) is really conceited :PPP No, like, in a nice way--"handsome devil." Yeahhh man.
xoxo

Wed, May 30th, 2012 2:20pm

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