Girl of Perfection

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

This was written for my girlfriend Kasey Lace while we prepare for our year and a half anniversary. She is just absolutely perfect, her eyes, her smile, her voice, and her incredible, indescribable beauty. Kasey sweetheart, this one is for you.

Her eyes

Like a pair of blue sapphire

Dancing like graceful blue fire

A person that I admire

A love that I so deeply desire

Her smile

Like a thousand twinkling stars

A heart that not is not mine, but ours

It healed my scars

Took my heart like a crowbar

Her voice

Like a singing harp

Playing the strings of my heart

The notes are sharp

When she sings her song

Her

A love that I had finally found

Breaking the curse that had me bound

Healing the pain that was my wound

Our love will be bound soon


Submitted: November 28, 2011

© Copyright 2021 Serpentine. All rights reserved.

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Comments

MrV

I bet it must be a flattering description of her. One can feel your devotion and infatuation. However, it does not convince me. My guess is that I am one of those who do not believe in such thing as "perfection." This type of piece is one dimensional and did not move me, it was hard to empathize with it.

However, it is well written, you have talent. It just needs a little extra to make it resonate to a wider demographic. :)

For some people appearance is not what matters, as sometimes a Venus type can have a venomous attitude that makes her putrid inside.

Maybe showing us some more, not of her appearance, but of her personality can help us see what truly makes this girl amazing and not just another pretty face on the street.

Mon, November 28th, 2011 3:23am

Author
Reply

You're right, appearance doesn't matter....Kasey and I would have never been together for a year and a half if it was just based on appearance. She's the sweetest girl you ever wanted to meet; we hardly fight because she and I forgive each other so easily. She's totally fun to be around and the only time she gets angry is someone insults me or her family. I know what you're talking about and I like that you decided to say something, but truly it was the only sweet thing that I could make rhyme. It took me a whole month to compose. I'll write a short story and publish it; funny thing is that I have a very vague idea of what happened at our most important moments together. But thanks for commenting and suggesting what I need to make people see how amazing she is.

Mon, November 28th, 2011 7:37pm

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