Miracle of the Century, Ch. 1

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fan Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
John Gage goes on a date, and as usual, it is a complete disaster. This time, though, it isn't his fault!

An "Emergency!," "M*A*S*H," "Adam-12," and "Dragnet" crossover.

Submitted: March 19, 2010

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Submitted: March 19, 2010

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“About suffering, they were never wrong,” writes Paramedic/Lieutenant John Gage. 
“What’s this, Gage?” asks Chet Kelly.
 
“Just some thoughts,” replies Gage. He continues writing. “On a pond at the edge of the woods, behind a tree.”
 
“So, our own Lt. John Gage is a poet now, eh?”
 
Gage keeps on writing.
 
“Everything runs away from Chet,” writes Gage.
 
“Hey!”
 
“What, Chet?”
 
“Did you have to include me?”
 
“On an expensive, delicate ship.”
 
“Oh, Roy!”
 
“What is it, Chet?” asks Paramedic/Lieutenant Roy DeSoto.
 
“Something amazing,” says Chet. “Gage has started writing poetry.”
 
“I know. Johnny was over at my house last night for dinner, and Joanne gave him some tips on how to write to impress. And I’ll get her for it.”
 
“And I plan to use my new skill on more dates,” replies Gage.
 
“What’s this I hear about Gage writing poetry?” asks Captain Hank Stanley.
 
“I think Gage has finally lost it,” says Marco Lopez.
 
“You only think?!” says Engineer/Paramedic/Lieutenant Mike Stoker. “Gage lost it four years ago when we both worked on Engine 69.”
 
“Shows what you guys know,” says Gage. “I am grateful of Joanne for giving me these poetry tips. And, for your information, I plan on using them on my date this Saturday.”
 
“So, you have a date,” says Stoker. “When did she go blind?”
 
“I’m going on a date with Dr. Hunnicutt’s daughter, Erin.”
 
“Does Dr. Hunnicutt know?” asks Roy.
 
“We talked about it about three months ago. When Mikey here was talking to Dixie about becoming a paramedic.”
 
“Well, I wish you the best of luck when Dr. Hunnicutt is staring down the barrel of a shotgun at you,” says Cap.
 
“Ha, ha, ha, Cap. I will not be on the wrong end of a shotgun. In fact, Dr. Hunnicutt actually trusts me with his daughter.”
 
“I’ll start planning your funeral, Gage,” says Cap.
 
“Thanks a lot, Cap,” replies Gage. “Shows just how much confidence you have in me.”
 
“Actually, Gage,” says Cap, “I actually hope this is the one for you.”
 
“Yeah, Gage,” says Mike as Cap goes to answer the phone. “I hope this is the end of you striking out.”
 
“Thanks, Mike.”
 
“Gage!” yells Cap.
 
“Yeah, Cap?”
 
“Telephone!”
 
“I’ll be right there!”
 
“I think this might be Erin,” says Roy.
 
“I hope it is,” says Mike as John goes to the phone. “That way we can listen in on him.”
 
“Mike, I think Chet Kelly has been a rotten influence on you,” says Roy.
 
“Come on, Roy. When do you think the next time will be when we get another chance like this?”
 
“Good point. Ok. Let’s listen in.”
 
“- - I’m just saying, Erin, that I might be a little late, and will not have time to change or get freshened up. They’re having a tough time finding a replacement for me for Saturday night. Right. Ok. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”
 
“We just got loaded with ammo, Roy,” says Mike.
 
“Mike, you may wanna lay off Johnny for a few hours. Let’s razz him later.”
 
“Sure thing, Roy.”
 
“That girl is amazing,” says Gage. “She won’t hold it against me if I show up a little late to pick her up. She said she understands about what a tough time a fire department has getting a replacement.”
 
“How would she know?” asks Mike.
 
“Her younger brother is a paramedic up in San Francisco with the San Francisco Fire Department.”
 
“On second thought,” Roy whispers to Mike, “just let this go until Sunday.”
 
“Fine with me,” replies Mike.
 
Gage looks sternly at Roy. “What was that all about, Roy?” he asks.
 
“Nothing.”
 
“Uh, huh. Sure.”
 
Later that night…
 
Roy is backing the squad into the station with Gage complaining.
 
“What a night! Eight runs in three hours. I didn’t think it was possible. Man, I’m beat!”
 
“I know what you mean,” says Roy. “I haven’t had a day like this since I worked on Engine 41.”
 
“I hear ya. I hear ya.”
 
“You wanna see if there’s any grub left?”
 
“No. You go ahead. I’m gonna turn in.”
 
“You must be tired if you’re turning down Mike Stoker’s spaghetti.”
 
“’Night, Roy.”
 
“’Night, Johnny.”
 
“Hey, Mike,” says Roy when he walks into the dayroom.
 
“Hey, Roy. Long night?”
 
“Like you wouldn’t believe. Eight runs in three hours. And get this: Johnny was so tired that he passed up your spaghetti.”
 
“Gage IS tired. Usually, I have to make a second batch.”
 
“I know. He’s probably also nervous about his date Saturday.”
 
“Come on, Roy. We’ve gotta hit the sack. We’ll need all the energy possible if we’re gonna throw Gage under the bus tomorrow.”
 
“Or in our case, under the engine.”
 
“Good one, Roy,” chuckles Mike.
 
About three hours later, the phone rings, and Cap answers.
 
“L.A. County Fire Department. Captain Stanley here,” grunts Cap. “What?! Hang on. Gage. Phone.”
 
“Right, Cap. Hello? Oh, hey, Erin. What’s up? You just got into LAX? Where’ve you been? Oh, San Fran. Listen I gotta–”
 
The alarm goes off, adding to a restless night.
 
“—I gotta go.”
 
“Station 51, Engine and Squad 10, Engine 210, Engine and Squad 36, Engine 116, Engine and Truck 127, Battalion 14 – Structure Fire – 1126 West 192nd Street. 1-1-2-6 West 192nd Street. Cross Street: 5th. Time out: 03:45”
 
“Station 51, 10-4. KMG365,” says Cap.
 
Station 51 is a block and a half away when Sam Lanier comes back over the radio.
 
“All units responding with Engine 10, cancel. Engine 10 reports kitchen fire, and Battalion 14 confirms.”
 
“Station 51,” comes an angry Hank Stanley.
 
“I don’t think Cap’s too happy,” says John.
 
“It doesn’t seem that way, does it, Lieutenant Obvious?”
 
Back at the station, Cap pulls Gage aside.
 
“John, can we talk for a minute?”
 
“Sure, Cap. What’s up?”
 
“About these phone calls for you in the middle of the night recently. They’ve really gotta stop.”
 
“Cap, I can’t help when planes come into airports. If I could, I would make them land during the day.”
 
“I know you would, but with the way sleep has been over the past couple of shifts, you’ve really gotta do something, and soon.”
 
“I know, Cap. I’ll talk to Erin tomorrow.”
 
“Thanks, John. Now, get some sleep.”
 
“Yes, Cap.”
 
“Mornin’, Roy.”
 
“Morning, Johnny.”
 
“Hey, Roy,” calls Cap, “I need to see you in my office for a minute.”
 
“Be right there, Cap!” replies Roy. “Wonder what I’m in trouble for?”
 
“Only one way to find out.”
 
“Yeah, Cap?” Roy says as he walks into Cap’s office.
 
“I just got a phone call from your wife.”
 
“Oh, no. This can’t be good.”
 
“No, it’s nothing bad. She just wants to know if you would like to go with her on Gage’s date. Sorta like a double-date.”
 
“I’d like to, but this is Johnny’s night. Plus, you’ve got me replacing Stoker, who’s replacing Johnny. Who’s replacing me?”
 
“I’m still working on that. So far, it looks like Craig Brice is the only one volunteering.”
 
“Great. Thanks, Cap.”
 
“What was that all about, Roy?” asks Chet.
 
“None of your business, Chet,” snaps Roy.
 
“Poor guy needs a marriage counselor,” Chet says to Cap as Roy walks into the dayroom.
 
“Yeah, and a baseball bat, too,” replies Cap.
 
“Excuse me. Can you tell me where I can find Captain Stanley?”
 
“I’m Captain Stanley. Can I help you?”
 
“How ya doin’, Captain? I’m Dr. B.J. Hunnicutt, and this is my wife, Peg.”
 
“What brings you to Station 51, Dr. Hunnicutt?”
 
“Actually, Peg and I are here to see Paramedic John Gage.”
 
“He’s in the dayroom.”
 
“Thanks, Captain.”
 
“I’ll take you in there.”
 
Cap leads the Hunnicutts into the dayroom, and Gage jumps up.
 
“How ya doin’, Dr. Hunnicutt?”
 
“I’m doing all right. Hey, Roy, Mike.”
 
“Hey, Doc,” says Roy. “Let me introduce you to the guys. You already met Captain Stanley. This is Marco Lopez. And this character is Chet Kelly.”
 
“Why am I always last?” complains Chet.
 
“I rest my case,” replies Roy.
 
“Before I forget, this is my lovely wife, Peg,” says B.J. “Peg, this is Lieutenant John Gage. He’s a paramedic. He’s also the guy going out with Erin tonight.”
 
“Glad to finally meet you, Mrs. Hunnicutt. I’ve heard a lot of nice things about you.”
 
“It’s nice to meet you, too, John,” says Peg. “How long have you been with the fire department?”
 
“About seven years now, Mrs. Hunnicutt. I worked on Engine 69 with Mike Stoker until we both got assigned to Station 51, where I’ve been a paramedic for four years now.”
 
“I can live with that. How old are you, John?”
 
“I’m - -“
 
“Peg, that is completely irrelevant to the topic at hand,” says B.J.
 
“I don’t mind saying that I’m 28, Doc!”
 
“I still don’t approve of you dating my daughter,” replies Peg. “If you break her heart, I’ll have to kill you.”
 
“Whoa, calm down, Peg,” says B.J. “You have to remember that Erin isn’t a little girl anymore. If she wants to date John, then she can date John. Who knows, they might end up getting married and giving us grandchildren.”
 
“Hey, Doc,” says Gage, “you’re jumpin’ the gun a little bit.”
 
“You disagree with me? In that case, I’m afraid I’ll have to kill you right now!”
 
“Dr. Hunnicutt, I agree with you. I’m just sayin’ that you’re lookin’ just a little too far into the future. I agree that Erin and I might end up married.”
 
“Yeah,” says Mike. “That chance is slim to almost none.”
 
“Will ya get outta here, Mike?!”
 
“Has Gage ever told you about his track record?”
 
“What do you mean by that?” asks Peg.
 
“Thanks a lot, Mike,” says Gage. “I think I’ll ask Cap how my funeral is comin’ along.”
 
“Peg,” says B.J., “you’ve got nothing to worry about. There’s no way his track record is worse than Hawkeye’s was before he settled down.”
 
“Who?” asks Gage.
 
“Dr. Pierce. His track record was legendary in Korea.”
 
“Oh, yeah? Who’d he finally hitch?”
 
“Margaret Houlihan.”
 
“Wait a second,” says Roy. “Now I place the moniker. She was the head nurse at the hospital at Fort Campbell, where I was a Medic. She was my Colonel. When did she retire?”
 
“About four years ago,” replies B.J. “But, Hawk and Margaret got married about a year after the Korean War ended. Margaret had their only son, Henry Blake Pierce, in ’65.”
 
B.J. is rambling on about Korea when the alarm goes off.
 
“Engine 51 – Rubbish Fire - 214 West 220th Street. 2-1-4 West 220th Street. Cross street: Rashdall Avenue. Time out: 13:06.”
 
“Engine 51, 10-4. KMG365,” says Cap. He just gets into the engine when Mike starts to pull the Ward out of the bay.
 
“Aren’t you guys going?” snaps Peg.
 
“Nope,” says Gage. “We only go when they call out Squad 51, or if the Captain says so.”
 
Roy, John, B.J., and Peg are talking about their pasts when the engine gets back fifteen minutes later.
 
“Some rubbish fire,” whines Chet. “A guy was grilling some steaks and burgers, another guy was walking by, saw the smoke, then called us.”
 
“Better safe than sorry,” says Roy.
 
“Roy, John, Mike, come in here for a second,” yells Cap.
 
“We gotta be going,” says B.J. “See you tonight, John.”
 
“Yeah, see ya, Doc,” says Gage.


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