getting over and growing up to find i might one day love my mother

Mom End

Mom you mend
No end
History's tonic
Histrionic gavel
On my head like unravelled

Of half-love
All over now
Older then than now
Long ago went along
With plan to inconceive
A baby half-cast
Of cries laughs
Last and not but least

Are we still in a moment
Of mom end
To never revisiting
The other end
Where I'd find you
Feasting on my flowers

And you, mom
Stir the calm
Trepidation in gauging
Gaze gouging
And always then as
Always now you

But that homemade
Bench swing from which
Your warlocks licked
My cheek
And gave me a rub
As never plays doctor
But closes eyelids with black
Rose pedals

And raises the spectre
Of your many lectures
On the graces of falling

As well
This fallen-into-child well
Will give such a hug that scrapes
And lacerates
Even hates

It is not fair
To give the chair to a child's
Imaginary murderer
But what then were you
Are you

To do?  Today?
Too much?  Too blew?
Two minds?
To hold?  Toehold?  Towed away?
Told to go?  Too many ways?

Too sadly say

And I lie in my head of hay
As on my bare
Stomach, staring into cold
Ceramic tiles
Where remnants of you, mom,
Have dropped and halved
Like tiny dried up


But I have sworn testimony
From the swarms
Of dead gone by
At the speed of black light

They will swear on a stack
Of empty promises
That, yes, they saw me
Drum my collie's ears
But that my hands at that

Precise moment were the hands
Of a grown woman
And maybe they can knock
Doubt back
Into shadow's hold
So that my slavery to circuits
Encircled and seen to be

Beyond any redemption

Will at last return to the sea
To be led in thick mist
Of the most resistant
Strain of hope

And one maybe day
Our love will brave the rocks
Below cliff below sea
The ocean red real with
What I feel in you and over

And through



By R P Webster

February 15, 2007

Submitted: June 08, 2007

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