Fallen Fantasies

Reads: 1278  | Likes: 1  | Shelves: 5  | Comments: 15

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Writers Rift

It was something uncalled for and totally unexpected, but after it happened, there was no going back. Especially when being chased by creatures you've never seen before. Why did this happen? It certainly can't be normal...

Fallen Fantasies

The light escaped through the dense trees, penetrating the darkness below like spotlights on a stage. The only sound was the scratching of the leaves gently blowing up against each other, but the serene surroundings didn’t last when a small creature quickly made his way into the forest.

Fighting for his breath, he looked to his left and he looked to his right, but he didn’t look back, and when a deafening bang rang out, it frightened the creature into a prickly bush. Although his scales protected him from the thorns, his heart continued to pound uncontrollably. His frill like ears arched upwards as he heard the gruff voice of the man that had just been chasing him. “Darn, where’d it go?”

Peering through an opening in the bush, the creature spied on the man with worry of being discovered. He knew that remaining in that same place would not keep him safe for long, so he watched the man intently, and as soon as his back was turned, the creature took the opportunity and dashed out from within the bush.

Racing past the trees as fast as he could, the area around him blurred and it took him a moment before he realized that he was rapidly approaching a cliff. Knowing he must stop, he tried to sit down, but in doing that, he merely skidded across the ground. With that plan going down in fail, he quickly came up with a new one, so he spread his meter long wings and jumped over the side of the cliff.

He flapped his rough scaly wings and began to glide, and as he swiftly moved through the sky, he glanced down. There, he saw the most fascinating things. To him, they looked like large rectangular boxes with square holes carved into them, but because of the fact he wasn’t exactly sure what they were or what they were used for, he held of the urge to investigate.

As he flew across the sky, he began to notice two legged creatures down below. He tilted his head and watched them go about their day. In his eyes, they looked a lot like the one that had chased him and he didn’t really want to risk another encounter with them. That was yet another reason why he thought the air would be a safer option.

After a while of flying the sun had started to set and the creature finally came to the conclusion that the area beneath him was far too big. It would be unlikely for him to make it to a safe place before his wings got tired, but he decided it’s either, dropping like a rock and going splat, or, safely landing on the ground and getting shot.

Both options didn’t really appeal to him much, but he thought, I’ll have more of a chance to survive if I’m on the ground. He then readied himself for his descent as he scanned the surroundings below. Once he spotted a place that appeared to be safe enough for a landing, he began to glide.

Right in the centre of the city was where he chose to place his clawed feet on the ground. He folded in his ember red wings and as he did so, he leaned forward, waiting for his attacker. However, when no one attacked him he straightened up in confusion. Looking around, he saw that many people were staring at him.

***

Her hands hovered over the keyboard for a moment as Shada thought about what she had wrote the other day. She brushed her long hair out of her face and shifted about in the uncomfortable seat that was making her bottom numb, though she wouldn’t state that out loud. “My butt hurts,” she uttered with a frown and gazed at the last thing she wrote. She then began to type more of her story on her laptop, in hopes that they would be landing by the time she wrote at least a few more sentences.

***

“What is it?” a man questioned, leaning closer.

“What does it look like to you?” the creature asked rudely, looking over to him.

“It roared. Is it trying to tell us something?” a male teen said.

The creature, who just thought they were stupid, rolled his eyes as they glistened in the last few rays of the sun. “Uh, duh,” he replied to his comment.

“Ooh, can I touch it?” a woman knelt down in front of him and held out her hand.

“No you cannot. I’m out-of-bounds, which means no touchy to you,” the creature said, but then he realized what she called him. “And did you just call me an ‘it’?”

***

Shada couldn’t help but laugh. She was pretty glad she had her writing to amuse her, even though that last paragraph was pretty immature of her character. He was a baby dragon though, so it didn’t really matter and it made the situation quite funny. She tapped her long nails against the plastic desk supporting her laptop in both thought and excitement. She couldn’t contain it, and smiled at the thought of one day becoming a published author, though that may be quite a while away.

Shada put her hand on the bright orange mousepad in order to move the cursor and click on the save button. She closed her laptop before putting it away in her bag. She then slid it under her chair and slowly leaned back in her seat. She grabbed her white headphones that were around her neck and hooked them over her ears, which was possible because of their strange design.

Shada didn’t like how most headphones went over her head, so the neck band design was perfect for her, it was just a shame that they didn’t last as long as her brothers. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her blue iPod so she could listen to her music as she looked out the small oval shaped window. She watched the clouds go by in the blue sky as she lay against the side of the plane she was stuck in.

“Shada!” her brother, Aspire said, “Shada!” He repeated to no avail. He then leaned over to her and shoved his iPod in her direction in an attempt to show her a hard game that only looked easy when he played it.

Shada kept her eyes out the window and continued to think about all the different scenarios her story could take, even though her brother didn’t get the hint. It wasn’t long until she was completely absorbed in her thoughts and everything else around her was drowned out. She was then abruptly torn out of her inside world when the plane jolted. She glanced around. A few of the people looked scared, and her mother, who was close by, was clutching onto the armrests. It was when the plane violently shook for a second time that passengers screamed.

What’s happening? Shada asked herself as she instinctively grabbed onto whatever she could when the plane suddenly took a dive. She could hardly hear the voices that came through the intercom above her due to all the other noises around her, including the unhealthy sound of the plane’s engine.

Everything was moving so quickly that Shada’s back was pressed against her seat and she could barely move. She was stuck with her head facing the window and then a blinding light flashed before her eyes. She tightly closed them in an attempt to block out the brightness. She began to lose all sense of reality as she was thrown forward and into the seat in front of her when the plane crashed into the ground.

All became silent. The only thing that could be heard was the dry leaves blowing in the chilly wind and the animals that walked over the orange leaves as they came to investigate and peer down at the disaster. Soon, there was movement inside the plane. Shada slowly pulled herself away from the seat before her and slouched in her own chair. The experience shook her up pretty badly but when she looked around, she was astounded that the plane was pretty much intact and no one was killed.

After Shada made sure her brother, Aspire, was okay, she then rose to her feet and squeezed past him so she could check if the rest of her family was fine. She was shaky on her legs, but still managed to make her way over to them. Her other brother, and her mother and father were all okay from what she could tell, although her mother was clinging to her seat like it would run away at any moment and her eyes were wide. The others were just awfully quiet.

Shada tried to help them out of their seats, which wasn’t easy because of her mother, but she succeeded in the end. When she went back to Aspire to get him up, she also remembered to grab her laptop from under the chair. She then made her way down the plane’s aisle with them all in pursuit. When she reached the door exit, she pushed against it. Because of the fact that it was already half off its hinges, she opened it relatively easy; however, she was still pressed against it as it completely fell off. She tumbled out, only to land on the hard ground. She lay face down in the dirt, and couldn’t be bothered to get back up. “Ow,” she moaned with her eyes closed. She refused to move until her father came over and helped her to her feet. She used his shoulder to support her weak legs.

“Where are we?” someone who ambled out of the plane asked.

“We’re lost,” another stated, glumly.

“We’re doomed!” her brother yelled in her ear and waved his arms around.

Shada winced. “Ow!” she turned her head to him. “Please don’t yell in my ear, Zander!”

“Yes!” her other brother, Aspire suddenly exclaimed into his space black iPod. “I beat the level!”

Shada looked over at him questioningly and then lowered her head in dismay. “Ah, we really are doomed,” she said with a sigh, but before she could continue, a person emerged from the crowd to address them all.

“That wasn’t pleasant,” he stated and brushed a hand through his black hair as he surveyed the crowd. “Well, I suppose in situations like these, we need a leader, someone to take charge, so I’ll be taking that role,” he told everyone with a grin. “You can call me Allen. Now then, we…” He stopped for a moment when he realised something and looked up. “We’re underground.”

Everyone followed his gaze. While there may have been a dark abyss surrounding them, light still made its way down the large hole the plane had made. Animals were looking down at them in confusion, but Shada didn’t recognise them at all. “We should keep moving,” Allen then informed them all. “There has to be a way out.” He started to march forward and everybody simply followed behind. Shada was sort of glad for his leadership though, otherwise she wouldn’t have a clue on what to do.

Darkness enveloped them as they all went further from the only source of light. The eerie silence was nerve racking, but the large group of people were too busy thinking about what would become of them, to say anything. The silence however, was broken every now and then, because Allen would say something.

As they continued along at their relatively slow pace, Shada noticed everyone already began to look tired. A few people were limping from the crash too, but she had recovered from her shaky legs. Even though she no longer needed her father for support, she still stayed close to him. She felt safer next to her family, so she definitely wasn’t planning on getting separated from them. She then heard a creepy whistling sound. A person nervously said it was just the wind, but it certainly didn’t help put anyone at ease.

Shada shuddered and clung to her father. “I don’t like this,” she whispered to him. She suddenly jumped when an ear piercing noise cut through the silence like a knife. The crowd froze in fear. It was obvious that it wasn’t the wind, or even an animal.

Shada slowly turned around, and the whole group was looking over their shoulders as well. That was when she realized that they had heard nothing other than a petrified scream. Not only that, a noticeable amount of people were also missing, and the far end of the crowd was already starting to panic. Even the leader had fear all over his face, which didn’t help everyone stay calm.

That wasn’t even the worst of it. It was when Allen decided to turn around and make a run for it that everything turned to chaos. As he disappeared into the darkness, people started screaming and pushing others over in a hopeless attempt to escape themselves. Some also began crying, but Shada had managed to control her tears and took a deep breath. “Now what?” she asked quietly, trying not to let her voice waver. She looked up to her father, who just glanced around, also unsure what he should do.

Something in the shadows suddenly moved. Shada could hear the sound of claws scratching against the hard ground. She swiftly spun around fully, only to see a pair of pure white eyes in the distance. They glowed in the dark and were narrowed in a sinister glare. Quickly turning back around, she yelled out, “run!” Not wanting to find out what the creature was, she grabbed a hold of her father and pulled him along. When she checked to see if the rest of her family was following, she was relieved that they were, but only after they saw the creepy eyes for themselves.

Shada continued running and didn’t plan on stopping. The screams she heard shortly after prompted her to keep going and not look back. She certainly didn’t want to be next. They all went around a corner, but exhaustion was rapidly approaching her. She wasn’t exactly the athletic type, so she already had enough running. Her breathing was out of control and she was struggling to keep going. I really should have at least gone for a daily run, she thought, or something. She stopped and leaned on the rocky wall in exhaustion.

“What was that?” Zander panted.

Shada kept shaking her head as she took deep breaths. She slowly slid down the wall and took a moment to calm down. The family stayed there for a while as they all caught their breaths. Shada then heard something. It was a stupid idea that they’d be out of the clear so easily, and when she looked to her right, fear instantly engulfed her. She could see five creatures that weren’t recognisable to her. Each one of them glowed in the dark, which made it easier to make out what they were.

Standing at the front with large red tipped wings, one of the creatures had its purple eyes fixated on Shada. Its wolf like body, along with the way it held its head high was slightly intimidating, but it was obviously the proud leader of the group. Its black fur glinted in a strange way, almost like there were hints of purple and red hidden within. Standing next to that creature was a slightly different beast. This one had dark, blood red eyes and was bent low to the ground like a cat about to pounce. Its sharp talons scraped across the ground as it stretched out its dragon like wings. It was snarling viciously, showing off its pointed fangs. On the other side of the purple eyed wolf was another one. This time, it looked more like a large cat with large pointed ears and a fluffy tail; it wasn’t any less scary though. In fact, it looked like a mass of shadows which glowed in the dark, which was slightly bizarre, but pretty cool too. It also had one white and one black coloured eye, along with black and white feathery wings.

There were two other creatures behind those three. One had dark blue, almost navy eyes, and a wolf like body but with dragon wings attached to its back. Its fluffy tail swished from side to side as it sat there watching. The other one had baby blue eyes and cat like body, with a thin tail wrapped around it. It was the most innocent looking of the lot and was licking its paws, but once all the other beings knelt down, it stopped and did the same.

Shada quickly got to her feet. The creatures sure didn’t look friendly, and she was worried they might attack at any moment, which is exactly what happened. She didn’t even have any time to do anything as the beast suddenly charged forward. Darkness then rapidly consumed them all as the glow from the creatures faded away.

Shada slowly opened her eyes and rose to her feet. She glanced around. It was just her and her family again. “Is everyone okay?” she asked as they all stood up too.

“What was that?” Zander repeated his question for the second time in confusion. Shada just looked at him, but then he gasped and suddenly started pointing at her. “You’re turning into Mystic!” he exclaimed. She simply raised an eyebrow and tried not to laugh at the mention of one of the characters in his story.

The remainder of her family all looked at her to find out what Zander was on about. “You’re eyes are purple,” Aspire stated.

Shada was astonished to hear this. “Really?” she said. Her family slowly nodded in reply and continued to stare at her as they tried to figure out what was happening. Shada then threw her arms into the air. “Awesome!” she yelled out. “I always wanted purple eyes!” She then paused with her hands still in the air when she realized something that slightly freaked her out. The wolf’s eyes were purple.

Shada suddenly looked to her left and laid eyes on the same corner she ran around when the passengers on the plane were first attacked. Those white eyes from before had come back for another chance to take them all. The creature glared at them through the darkness as it slowly stalked its way closer.

As it closed the gap between it and its opponents, Shada could get a better look at it. It showed its blood stained teeth as it snarled at them and bent low, ready to pounce. The look in its eyes made it clear that it wanted and was ready to, tear flesh, and those razor teeth would make the job easy. The horns that protruded from its head glowed, a strange, menacing red, and the spikes on its hind legs slowly moved. They grew longer and wrapped around its legs like a vine. The ones located on its back arched themselves on a dangerous angle that would tear, not cut. It then dashed forward at an incredible speed.

Shada jumped back and instinctively turned around. Even though the creature was going so fast, she somehow managed to run faster. The walls were blurred, and the feel of the wind rushing against her face was thrilling, and she loved it all. The one thing that made the experience better, was the fact that she wasn’t getting remotely tired. No matter the speed, her breathing was under control the whole time. She knew something had happened to her, but she could care less. She felt free in those moments as she ran. She was so enjoying herself, besides the fact that there was a beast trying to eat them all.

When she remembered the whole reason why she was running, she also came to the realization that she may have just deserted her family. Glancing over her shoulder, she was relieved to see that her family was surprisingly not far behind. She smiled at them and then turned her head back to watch where she was going. Her eyes widened as she saw a cliff not too far away, and getting rapidly closer, but for the first time in hours, she could finally see light. She instantly stopped running, but it did nothing and she was still thrown off the edge.

Suddenly, out of nowhere she was reminded of her story. She looked down and her bag was still there, even though it was as light as anything. She forgot it was there too. She shrugged it off anyway, it’s not she was stuck in the middle of weirder things, plus, she was falling to her doom, which she also temporarily forgot.

Shada started helplessly waving her arms around, as if she expected them to turn into wings so she could fly. She had her eyes trained on the forest below. It was looking bare apart from the orange leaves that layered the ground. She suddenly began to feel dizzy, so she tightly closed her eyes. The autumn air rushed past her as she prepared for an uncomfortable fall, and possibly the end to her life. She slowly opened her eyes after the realized she had stopped falling. It was one thing after another and she was severely confused. She was just floating, and the ground wasn’t too far off either. She was partially flying; however, before she had the chance to celebrate, she began her decent again. This time, nothing stopped the tree branches from scratching against her. The amber leaves didn’t make her fall any less comfortable. After a moment of lying in the crunchy leaves, she slowly lifted herself off the ground, relieved that she hadn’t broken a bone or something.

Shada reached her hand over her shoulder. It was like there was an extra weight added to her back and her shoulder blades also felt strange. It felt like… She slowly ran her fingers over the top of what she decided was her new wings. She paused in thought, but then her brother, Zander suddenly fell from the sky and interrupted her. She looked down at Zander as he stood up. “Ouch,” he said with a frown. It wasn’t long after that, when the rest of the family joined them on the dry ground.

Shada widened her eyes as she realized that she wasn’t just the only one who changed in appearances. When all of her family got to their feet, she looked from Aspire’s, Zander’s and her father’s new wings and everyone’s new eye colours. Each one of the creatures from the cave attacked a different person, and somehow that caused them to gain their features. With that knowledge, Shada then worked out what colour her wings must have been. She stretched out her feathery wings as wide as possible and then looked over her shoulder, checking to see the mostly black wings, the same kind of wings that the purple eyed wolf had. She took a deep breath and sat down on the orange leaves to take a moment and think, while her family just continued to gaze at each other in wonder.

After a minute of silence, Shada’s father finally said something. “Well, we can’t just stay here.” She nodded in agreement, and he glanced around at the trees surrounding them.

“Maybe there’s a town or something nearby,” her mother replied.

Zander instantly started to make his way through the forest, so Aspire followed beside him. The remainder of the family also wasn’t far behind, and Shada walked between her two brothers. Her laid her arm over Zander’s shoulder and smiled at him. They continued on in the same formation for a while, but Aspire refused to let Shada have her arm over his shoulder like Zander. Considering they are only just taller than her, it would be awkward anyway, she decided.

The leaves crunched beneath them as they walked and her brothers complained. Shada rolled her eyes at them, but half way along the trip, they finally became quiet. She had to check if they were still alive, but considering they were still walking beside her, they obviously were. They were silently looking around at the scenery, which wasn’t much because the majority of the leaves on the trees had fallen off.

Eventually, Shada spotted what looks like a town. She couldn’t help grin at the fact that the long walk was coming to an end. She slid her arm off her brother’s shoulder just before they bother took off and ran for the town. She raised her eyebrows and then looked over her shoulder and over her wings at her parents. “Come on,” she said before turning her head around and chasing after her brothers.

When Shada and her brothers reached the town, they were all a bit disappointed at how small it actually was. It was more like a tiny village with about eight cottages. She glanced around at the small houses and noticed everybody in the place was watching them with intrigued gazes. It made her slightly nervous and none of the villagers had wings, which was probably why they were all slowly edging closer to get a better look.

Leaning against a building right next to where Shada and her family stood, one of the villagers had just closed the thick book he was reading. “You look like you’ve had quite the adventure,” he stated as he straightened up.

Shada looked at him. “Huh?”

He paid no mind to her confusion, “and had a visit to the cave of spirits too,” he continued.

When Shada didn’t reply to him and raised her eyebrows slightly, he finally held up the book in his hands to show her the cover. She saw the familiar cliff with the cave at the top. The man lowered the book again. “Why don’t you follow me and we can talk?” he asked as he turned and went into the house he was previously leaning on. The guy showed everyone to a small round table and got them to all take a seat. He also sat down and placed the book down in front of him. He then crossed his arms on the table. “So…”

Shada shifted uncomfortably in her chair as he gazed at his guests. “Yes,” she said.

The guy leaned forward slightly. “Introductions,” he stated. “You can call me Jayvier. Now, what may your names be?”

After Shada and the rest of her family introduced themselves, Jay then began to explain, because it was clear that they had no clue what was going on. He opened up his book. “Not many people go to the cave of spirits,” he said. “And the ones that do either die or get scared half to death by the creature who roams the cave.” He shook his head and pointed to a picture in his book.

Shada peered at what his finger was on. Those familiar white eyes still sent shivers down her spine. They were an eerie milky colour and held no emotion as they stared holes into your soul. She backed away from the picture. “What is that?” she asked.

“No one knows,” Jay replied in a mysterious tone. “There isn’t a proper name for it, so most people just call it ‘The End’, which I think is silly. I would have called it ‘The Reaper’ or something.” Jayvier leaned back in his seat and flipped a few pages in his book. “But anyway, while this creature is often out for the kill, it also has another purpose. This purpose is to tear apart the five intruders, or as others call them, ‘Spirits’.” He paused and looked down at his book.

Shada’s eyes widened as she saw the purple eyes and black wings of the same wolf that attacked her, including the other four creatures. “Those things attacked us.”

“That explains why you resemble them,” Jay said. “People only call these things spirits because of how they have the ability to just disappear without a trace, but that’s not actually what they are. The true word for them is ‘Morphian’.” He flipped to the next page of his book. “They are called that because they can merge with other beings, but they can be picky. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re completely different tomorrow. Even your personality may change,” he explained as he scanned the words on the page in front of him. He looked up at Shada again. “They usually pick outsiders. People who don’t even…” he paused for a moment. “Even live in this area, so to speak. How did you get here exactly?” he then asked.

“We were in a plane crash,” Shada’s mother told him.

“Interesting,” Jayvier said as he stood up from his chair. “I have heard that high above the cave of spirits, there has been a tear in reality due to a battle that happened centuries ago. It had recently started repairing itself too.” He frowned. “Well, it looks like you’re stuck here, because we don’t have a plane to repeat the experience. Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, though this must not happen very often,” Shada replied and also got to her feet.

Jayvier picked up his book and smiled at them. “True, it’s once in a lifetime event really…” He drifted off when he looked out the window and noticed that the surrounding area had suddenly grown dark. “Well that’s not good,” he said quietly to himself. “It never leaves its territory, or at least it never did before.” He looked over at his guests as a high pitched screeching sound caused the citizens outside to scream in panic. “You have to get out of here,” Jay told the family. “It’s looking for you.” He turned back to the window where the creature could be seen stalking the streets as people rushed into their houses.

The creature snarled at them. Its milky white eyes scanned everyone, making sure it misses nothing. It then paused in the middle of its stride and looked right through the window at Shada.

Jay took a step back and turned to Shada and her family. “Out the back,” he commanded and pushed them along. “Quick.”

The creature outside slowly creeped its way closer to the house, but as soon as it saw them escaping out the back, it ran forward. It wailed loudly in anger before it collided with the door. It continued to pound at the door and kept making those horrible sounds. It was furious for some reason, but its cries haunted Shada and sent shivers down her spine.

The family all fled out the back, and Jayvier stopped to shut the door behind him. He then turned to them all. “You should go to the snowy mountains from here,” he suggested and pointed to the tall mountains in the distance. “That is the one place it will not go,” he said and shrugged. “Don’t know why, but that’s how it is.” He glanced through the window to his house and saw the creature finally smash the front door open and look around confused. “So, good luck and don’t get killed.”

“We’ll try,” Shada replied as she and her family then began their journey at full speed to the snow covered mountains in the distance, but it didn’t end there. More was going on than they knew. With time, not even the changes to their bodies were final as the beings inside of them continued to become even more inseparable with their occupants, until one day, they were completely one…

 

 

To be continued ;)

Word Count: 5,290 with title.


Submitted: October 05, 2015

© Copyright 2022 ShadaStorm120. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

Comments

Volatile

*Brilliant applause showers you from the rooftops* I normaly dont like reading long stories but now I dont want this one to end! Why would you leave it off on such a cliffhanger??? Final sentence sent shivers down my spine. Does that mean that Shada and her family could turn into them? If so, why are they still being chased? What about Jayvier? O.O By the way, I love how you added yourselfa nd your family into this story! I can relate so much. My brother takes advantage of any situation to talk about his games, and forcefully tries to make me play them. Allen made me laugh, the of-so-fearless leader of the bunch. Speaking of him, does that mean the other passengers are now dead? Wow, you sure know how to keep my on the edge of my seat, Shada! Purple eyes would look so cool! Now I wish I could merge with these guys just to get some cool coloured eyes, not to mention the wings!!! But now I also need to know what happens to the (dragon?) in Shada's story!

Wed, October 7th, 2015 3:26pm

Author
Reply

Yay, yay, yay. I get showered with applause from the rooftops, awesome! How'd it reach me from all the way over here? Hehe, yay again :) I'm glad you liked this even though it was really, really long. Well, I left it on a cliff hanger because D A Draven is hosting the sequel to his 'Can you hear the madness calling' therefore, I needed something interesting and slightly spooky to do for it, that is going to be the sequel to this. Ooh, yay. I'm glad that the final sentence did actually. Maybe it does, but you'll see what really happens. The characters here, will be almost unreconisable as Shada, turns into what will now be known as, ShadaStorm. You'll find out how everything plays out in the next story, so I'll tell you when it's up. It likely won't be as long as this. Ah, yes, that was the requirements for the contest, which is now cancelled sadly, but oh well. Ah, yes, well I'm glad you can relate to that, hehe, my brother loves his games and loves to see others fail at it, haha. Yes, at that part I was like, I'm going to make Allen be an idiot and run off. Oh dear, that was slightly funny though. So much for a good leader. Haha, you'll see if the passengers are dead or not in the next one ;) but, yay, I have achieved my goal. I didn't know if I'd be able to do it :) YES, purple eyes would be AWESOME!! Haha, don't we all, but you might be out off by the idea in the sequel. You have no clue what shall become of them. Well, as for the dragon in Shada's story, you know what happens after that, up until the last chapter I published of 'EmberSpring' at least. :) well, thank you so much for reading and commenting on this story. It was much appreciated. :)

Wed, October 7th, 2015 12:17pm

S.R.B. Gray

Had to take notes of during the week because I didn't have time to read in just one sit down, but now, I've finally finished! So this flying creature is being hunted by someone? And also, that's the first swear I've ever seen you use in your writing! Woooooow!!! But oh no, he landed in a crowd full of people! Wait, that was all just a scenario? And the real main character is...YOU?! AND YOUR FAMILY IS IN IT TOO?! WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!?! Oh dear, you guys were in a plane crash? Way to make me afraid of flying again. So you guys are in this strange world and creatures are trying to kill you? Where is this anyways? You're developing strange powers too...what? Why???Parasites? Well, thanks to Jayvier, I know what's going on (Kinda). So if an ancient battle caused a rift in reality, then is the 'real' world really a fake or different world? Oh,and it's to be continued! Well hurry up and publish it already, I wanna see what happens next! That was really neat that you added yourself and your family to this. I wanna know what's going on with these changes to your bodies. Why is it happening? The strange atmosphere of this world? Haha, you put the word count at the end! Are you trying to break a personal record? Well it's certainly the longest thing I've read from you so far! So good job!!!!

Mon, October 26th, 2015 7:58am

Author
Reply

Yay for taking notes. Haha, I'm sorry for its length but it was for a contest which had a VERY high word limit where I was meant to put a word count at the end, but, it was also a personal record, hehe. Certainly the longest short story I've ever written. Haha, just to clear up any confusing, you should know that the introduction was actually the beginning of 'EmberSpring', and yes, that swear word part was actually in the first chapter. It was also the first time I used it, I am considering on changing it to darn or something. Haha, it was basically just something to put the word count up and also a good way to transition to the REAL main character, ME. Yes, me and my family actually are the main characters. Haha, I thought it was cool having me and my family in the story though. Oh no, sorry... But I don't think this will happen to you, hehe. This is sort of a mystery story, not much is straight forward explained. Haha, maybe the real world is, you would have no clue though, so that shall remain unknown, and yes, this is certainly continued, I've barely started the other part though, so I can't publish it now, sorry. I'm glad to know you want to read the second one though, I hope it'll be scarier than this one actually. Thank you so much for reading this even though it's so long. It means soooo much to me. :)

Mon, October 26th, 2015 1:15am

LeParadisNoirPoetique

This is such a clever and surreal story. It starts off with a story we are familiar with, and becomes a case of life imitating art, and art imitating life. This had a lot of tension and thrills with edge of your seat torment. The plane crash reminded me of Final Destination, because it was done very realistic, with a perspective put on the survivors. Allen was funny as the leader, even tho he was the first to runaway. It is unique to put you and your family as the stars of the story, and the scenes with the creatures, that also imitate to be astral beings of you and your family. Like in one of my stories when I compared a butterfly and wasp to a wife and husband, you do the same with each creature being spiritually a member of your family. It was tense, and I love the fear on the passengers, because the sense of death becomes much bigger than survival.
I love how your descriptions of the real world compare to a world you will write in words, and its original as fuck.
Jay tells a wonderful story of why this creature is after them, and your charm is ever present here.
I will begin the sequel in the new year, so take your time writing that.
Like Girly said, standing on the top of a building with a round of applause. This is amazing.

Sat, October 31st, 2015 2:05am

Author
Reply

Thank you so, so, so, much. I really took my time with this story, due to it being so long, but I also got it finished in time for the contest, which was cancelled shortly after, so I am quite proud of this piece. It wasn't rushed, even in the short amount of time I had to finish it in. I'm glad it was realistic and clever and everything else you said. Allen was certainly a funny, ridiculous leader, but someone had to get everyone moving, even if he did just run away in the end. Your right, there. Each spiritual being did represent me and my family in this other world, It was sort of like your story in that way :) I tried my best to make the sense of fear and death real and scary, but the next story will hopefully be a heightened version of all of this. Jay was only there to explain things, and I do feel he served his purpose well. I'm happy my charm remains, hehe. The sequel hopefully won't be as long, but just as awesome, so we'll have to wait and see if that's what I can achieve. I will certainly take my time. I don't want to rush anything here. Yay *Bows* Thank you so much :)

Fri, October 30th, 2015 7:44pm

walle ras

I really liked this tale and am glad I came back to Booksie so I could read this.

Wed, November 25th, 2015 6:51pm

Author
Reply

Wow, I haven't heard from you in a while, I thought you'd vanished... Well, welcome back, and thank you. I'm glad you liked this story. It's quite a long one.

Wed, November 25th, 2015 11:01am

Keke Serene

“unhealthy sound of the plane’s engine.” Love that description, but you always do such a wonderful job with description!
“I bet the game!” Should be “I [beat/ or maybe won?] the game!” perhaps?
“A person nervously said it was just the wind, but it certainly didn’t help put anyone at ease.”Ah blast that one person giving stupid suggestions! Of course that put no one at ease, they’re underground! There is no wind!
Well Allen seems pretty cocky, I don’t like cocky people...
“Shada slowly turned around, and the whole group was looking over their shoulders as well. That was when she realized that they had heard nothing other than a petrified scream. Not only that, a noticeable amount of people were also missing, and the far end of the crowd was already starting to panic.” Yay, some tension! So there are a few pointers I’d suggest to make this a bit more suspenseful. One, I’d change the order around first.
A petrified scream is gonna cause anybody to panic, so it seems kind of strange to notice that people are missing after that because when you’re in a panic, you’re prolly not thinking about Joe the farmer from Idaho who was sitting four seats back. So I’d put that second, after looking back.Also, your sentences seems a little too wordy for such a frightening scene- a panicking scene. I hate that word panicking, ugh! The stupid freaking K is so unnecessary! It causes me literary pain, just not as much as people who mistake hear and here, good lord in heaven... But anyways...! Where was I going with this. Oh yeah! But it seems your writing style includes a lot of descriptions, a lot of words, so I can’t really tell you jack. I can only give my two cents of a suggestion.So Yeah!
I’d put the looking over the shoulder, then hey, some people are missing, then a petrified scream. Here is a an edited version, just switching the order.“Shada slowly turned around, and the whole group was looking over their shoulders as well. Not only that, a noticeable amount of people were also missing, and the far end of the crowd was already starting to panic.That was when she realized that they had heard nothing other than a petrified scream.”
Now that you’ve built up tension, its time for some action, some running, panicking, stampedin’ action! :D

“As the disappeared into the darkness,”Should be he :)
Oh, that cocky Allen, a coward, running off to leave everyone! XD Tsk, tsk!
“Not wanted to find out what the creature was”[wanting]
She wasn’t exactly the athletic type! Me too girl! Just thinking about running makes me want to stop! XD
Oh wow this has certainly taken an interesting turn! They’ve been possessed by monsters! It cool that it gives her super speed though :)
I liked the description of the underground forest it sounds very nice. Except for the scratching trees, loved that description.
Okay, why is on one freaking out! I mean, I can understand Shada thinking its cool, but if the mom was floored and refusing to leave the plan, I think she’d have lost it by now with the whole wings and all... I mean, it just seems like few people would just take it in stride that they’re miraculously transformed...
I wished we’d get more details on what there people look like. I kind of figure them to look a little mutated themselves, I mean, they live underground! They should be like blind and super pale with super hearing powers or something... I don’t know XXD Ah, “The End” is a silly name XXD Be more creative! But I still like it! :)
“Well it looks like you’re stuck here... Sorry.” Wow, thank you Jay, you sound so compassionate and genuine in your condolences!
Ah, so the screeching must be connected to “The End.”
Whoa, so I’m finished! I really like this story so far, when are you going to continue it? Hopefully soon! Well done, as always! :DD

Tue, January 12th, 2016 2:07pm

Author
Reply

Wow, such a long, awesome, helpful review. Well, Allen wasn't meant to be liked, obviously. I was just like, 'I'm going to make him do something stupid', therefore, he ran off in fear after pretending to be an oh so fearless leader. Im glad you still like my descriptions. I tried my best with this story. It was for a contest. But yes, 'The End' is a silly name, but what makes you think I came up with it?? This story is going to be continued whenever I get around to it :) don't know when right now. But anyway, thank you so much for reading and commentinf :)

Tue, January 12th, 2016 10:56am

Salma Said

You have a great way of describing scenes! How do you do that? I love the story! It's amazing! A story inside a story, and the a great scene that has Shada and her family after the plain crashed. This is great! great job!!

Wed, January 27th, 2016 2:01pm

Author
Reply

Thank you. I took a while to write out this story, but it is one of my best ones, so I'm happy :) thank you so much for reading and commenting :)

Wed, January 27th, 2016 4:35pm

Randhir Kaur

You know what I dont like long stories but yours made me deeply indulged in the story. Truely a Masterpiece..Good job..

Tue, February 9th, 2016 6:01am

Author
Reply

I don't often like long stories too. But it's good that you enjoyed it anyway. Thank you so much.

Mon, February 8th, 2016 10:07pm

Jori Nees

lol that totally 360ed on me. went from a serious tale of small dragon to weird but exciting tale of strange family. i kept expecting it to be a dream induced by the girl falling asleep writing lol

Tue, March 1st, 2016 11:09pm

Author
Reply

Hahahaha, that may have been a logical possibility, but sadly for the family, that is not the case. Haha, thanks for reading.

Tue, March 1st, 2016 9:01pm

Rathalos

WOW what a great story!
At first I thought the story was about a dragon. ^_^
The planecrash came totally unexpect which is great!
The story is really catching and I'm excited to read the next part of this story. ;)

I wish you a beautiful day. ^_^

Thu, March 3rd, 2016 1:46pm

Author
Reply

Wow, thank you so much. I'm glad you liked this story. The dragon was a part of another story I wrote, haha. Thank you for reading and commenting. You have a beautiful day too. :D

Thu, March 3rd, 2016 9:15am

Spyguy

I was sure that I had commented on this masterpiece before, yet I can't find my comment... I will tell you that you are Pulitzer material, that I love it, & that "Starsthatfall....." Has already told you in his/her comments most all I would, or could have said, but I needed you to know that I agree & truly enjoy your work!

Fri, August 5th, 2016 8:06am

Author
Reply

Haha, hmm, I don't remember if you did comment or not, but oh well, another comment is pretty good too :D so, thank you for the comment :) Stars is one of the best commenters in my opinion, haha. She provides what I find to be great honest feedback.
Thank you :)

Tue, August 9th, 2016 12:17am

Spyguy

I am totally hooked! You are amazing! You make me a participant in your story, a member of your family, & I keep looking over my shoulder to see those eyes! I want to get to the mountains soon!!!

Sun, June 4th, 2017 7:12am

Author
Reply

Hahahaha, thank you. I'm glad you are liking this story :)

Sun, June 4th, 2017 2:13am

Spyguy

This is like the third or fourth time I've read it, enjoyed & felt enthralled each & every time! I want to be a purple-eyed Dragon/Spirit, running along by your side, fearing yet excited for my life, as you describe the rest of your family here!! I feel as though I am a part of your family! You mentally write me in as a member of that family by the way that you so eloquently pull my mind into your reality!

Very few are the artist writers of your caliber, who can effectively accomplish that with me! Once again, I'm honored to feel that you accept me as a friend!

Sun, June 4th, 2017 9:21am

Author
Reply

Hahahaha, wow, the third or fourth, hahaha. Thank you again. This means a lot to me.
Yeah, I based the characters here off me and my family to an extent, but if it can pull you in and make you feel like you're one of them, then that's fantastic :)

Sun, June 4th, 2017 2:29am

Miss Midnight

What a clever story. Story within a story,lol, uniquely done. Trust the Lady of Dragons to imagine this and manage to pull it off. Descriptions were beautiful, with great follow through and pace. Emotions were okay, just felt if something was a bit lacking. It is by no means wrong or stupid, just lacking something.
That being said, the rest of the world and creature in it was spot on with creativity and imaginary. I'm super intrigued and hope that you continue this story. Overall brilliantly done! :)

Sun, November 26th, 2017 5:26am

Author
Reply

Aw, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. :)
This comment means a lot :D and yes, you've found my weakness!!! To be honest, I struggle a little with emotions, haha. But I'm glad you liked it overall :)
Actually, I've got two other stories that follow on from this. Rising Realities is next in line, and after that is Larger Legacies, but again, thank you for just reading this story :)

Sat, November 25th, 2017 11:27pm

Facebook Comments

More Fantasy Short Stories

Other Content by ShadaStorm120