Gay Rights?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
THIS IS A SATIRICAL, SARCASTIC, HUMOROUS, ESSAY
about gay rights

Submitted: December 12, 2015

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Submitted: December 12, 2015

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Gay rights? Gays are hardly human.

 

 

Out of all the problems that plague our world, there is one that is more important than all. The gays. This disgusting and sinful mutation of our society is absolutely wrong and needs to be stopped. Why are we fighting to give human rights to the homos when we should be taking them away? Homos are obviously not human so why give them human rights? Gay marriage is not marriage. Marriage is between a man and a woman and calling something marriage does not make it marriage.

 

Gays are not human. Being gay is completely unnatural and real humans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses and polyester. Absolutely everything unnatural is bad for us, like smoking and drinking. Only the “humans” engage in these homosexual relationships, so it must be unnatural. You don't see dogs, cats or horses being gay. Reproduction is the only important thing in a marriage and since queer couples can't reproduce it's totally wrong. If everyone was gay, there would be no more humans. Why would God want total extinction? Homosexuality is a dead-end and therefore would not occur naturally. Also, all these “natural” disasters are obviously just God trying to get rid of the homos.

 

Being a homo is a choice. Why else do we invest hundreds of dollars on heteronormative baby t-shirts, if not to discourage homosexuality? Nobody lacks the power to refrain from homosexuality. Everyone has the power to say no. We have scientifically proved that there is no gay gene, so there's proof right there that it's a choice. Being gay is also contagious. Gays make others gay just like tall people make others tall. This is why our race is going to inevitably end if we don't stop this disease right now. Because once we start letting gays get married and start letting them adopt kids, they're going to pass on the gay syndrome. Then we have to start paying even more money for conversion therapy for these homo children.

 

Being gay is just gross. Anytime I think of two men loving each other, I feel like vomiting. When I see it in public, I gag. It makes me so uncomfortable. No human could make someone so uncomfortable by showing affection to another. It's even worse when I think of two men making love to each other. It's 110% my business to know what goes on in the bedroom. It's so disgusting. On a scale from 1 to 10, it registers at 50.

 

In Leviticus 20:13 it says, “If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them.” I understand that executing all homos would be time-consuming and money-inefficient, but I feel like it's the only way to stop the raging disease of homosexuality. There is no hope left for our humanity while gays are still out there converting all the humans.

 


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