Crossing Worlds

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
this short story. I really enjoyed writing it just because of the content.

I can't remember how much time i used on it.
it came on a total of 10 pages and 4 673 words

i hope you enjoy reading it and that i will get positive feedback.

Submitted: July 15, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: July 15, 2012




I was sitting in class, at the back row as always; the teacher was up at the blackboard giving us information about our exams. At last I got tired of it and I ended up sitting and staring at the hair of the girl in front of me as soothing music played in my ears. And suddenly, I was free; I was in my own world, a world consisting of Happiness, Sadness, Fear and Pain. And as I kept on letting my gaze grow deeper into the hair of the girl in front of me I walked further into my own universe.

I first entered Fear, everything looked dead and abandoned, everything looked naked and my mind brushed against me with all of the small frights and fears of my life, how was I supposed to get a job, where did my road go after this, I wandered around there for a good hour, pondering and as I went further into it I entered Sadness, everything was cold, and dark and my mind shouted at me against the wind as of how I had lost the biggest love of my life because of distance, how I was living in a black and white world with no hope except for yesterday’s drinking incident.
As I sank deeper and deeper the classroom and the teachers voice faded into nothing, and the only thing I heard was the music, the black hair of the girl in front of me had turned to a portal into my mind, and I was now completely lost, soon I entered Pain, things were drowned, but it was not cold, it was not dead, things slowly started to live again, I felt the wounds on my arm sting as my mind started to concentrate on them, soon the pain turned excruciating and everything blacked out, the only reason for me to not pull out of my own mind  was that I knew that I soon would enter Happiness, everything turned darker and darker, but then I could see it, I closed in on Happiness, I could feel the warmth of it, I saw the darkness and soaked environment of Pain disappear.

Suddenly laughter broke through my barrier together with tainting words and shouts, and I could hear the teacher’s voice from far away, slowly the crossing from Pain to Happiness faded and I was back in the classroom.
The teacher stood above me, I had fell of my chair and was now sprawled out on the floor, my earplugs were still inn but had ripped out of my computer, so everybody could hear the music, laughter tore through my head as the whole class taunted me for “falling asleep” like that in the middle of class.
I just laid there, ignoring the scolding from the teacher and trying to close out the laughter, wanting to return to the crossing from Pain to Happiness, so I closed my eyes and curled up to a ball, but it did not return, neither Pain nor Happiness returned to me.


I opened my eyes, and I saw a white roof, there was silence all around me, I looked around, I was at the nurse’s office. My head felt heavy, so even if I wanted to I couldn’t get out of the bed I was placed in. As I started to think about how I had gotten here I only saw a big black space in my memory. Then I remembered the crossing from Pain to Happiness. I wanted to get there!  I was laying there in the bed, surrounded by white walls and curtains wherever I turned my gaze. I needed to find something black or dark to look at, that was how I had entered last time. There was nothing black in this room, so I threw the pillow over my face.  Lights flashed before my eyes, like a movie that was speeded up, fragments of sounds and pictures passed and it eventually turned to a mess of sound and images, and suddenly everything got silent. I opened my eyes and looked around; everything was dead and cold once again. The wind threw something that could remind of snow in my face. I was in a dessert winter land, there was no sky, but there was still bright enough to see. Dead threes were scattered as far as the eye could see, but there further ahead, some threes formed a circle, I saw something that could look like a human inside it.

I started to walk, the snow like substance got stuck around my feet, making it almost impossible to walk, and made me feel trapped. After a lot of struggling, and almost falling head first four times, I came to the circle of threes. I entered it and everything turned disturbingly bright, like somebody had turned on a sun lamp and put it straight before my face.
My eyes hurt like hell as I tried to not scream or fall over in the surprise of the light. As my eyes finally had adapted to the light I could see that somebody really were standing in the middle of the circle, it was a female from the clothes to judge. She turned and as I saw her face I realized that I was in Fear, the skin in her face was so tight that you could see her skull, and where her torso should be, there was a gaping hole, where you could see ribs, a pulsating heart and other gory substances. She started to walk against me while letting out a siren like scream, and I felt my heart beating like fuck. I had to get away from her or else something bad would happen! I started running, but the “snow” on the ground held me back and made progress almost impossible.
I found my way out of the three circle, and as I did everything turned silent and there was complete darkness. I saw nothing, but I could still walk, I took a few steps before I heard an alarming swish behind me, and before I had turned around I had a throwing knife in my shoulder. Right where the freshets scar on my body was. I tried to scream, but there was no sound, and as I tried to move I realized that I was paralyzed. I could not move, could not scream, damn it, I couldn’t even blink!
I couldn’t see either; the only thing in my vision was darkness and my own feet as I found myself sitting like I was being pushed against a wall.
I heard another swish, and once again there was another throwing knife in my arm, this time in my lower arm close to the elbow. Another came just after, on the upper side of my wrist. I now had three knifes in my arm, and I could feel every ounce of pain for each one of them. Now I just begged for waking up, or moving, because I had realized from the first knife that I was now in Pain. Suddenly I realized that I sat on something cold and wet, and that it smelled of wet grass and forest around me.

Before I had the time to figure what I was sitting of I heard another swish, I looked up and just as I did a fourth knife had flown through the air and pierced my chest. I sat there gasping for air, it felt as if my whole body was screaming and begging to wake up. I closed my eyes, trying to close out the pain, trying to ignore it and fight my way back to consciousness. Slowly the pain let go, first from my shoulder, then my lower arm, and shortly after my wrist. The only pain left was the one in my chest, it wasn’t excruciating anymore. It had changed to a kind of pain that I had felt in my darkest times.
I opened my eyes and I was now in Sadness, a place where everything was naked and dead, somewhere was there patches of grass or a tree with some fresh leafs, but it was mostly death everywhere.
As I kept on exploring Sadness from where I stood I noticed somebody standing under one of the threes that seemed to be the greenest, I did not know who it was but the person kept staring at me as if it wanted contact with me.
The last time I had met somebody was in Fear, she had been chasing me, I think I met somebody in Pain too, somebody had to be throwing those knifes I guess. But this wasn’t Fear or Pain, so I guess I could not be physically hurt here, and who knew; maybe that person up ahead was the one to guide me to Happiness!

I started walking, and just as I had taken one step I heard a cry from behind me, I turned and I saw my girlfriend Caru standing some meters away, what was she doing here in Sadness? And just as I had started to wonder I noticed something with the three closest to her, it was somebody there, it looked like a male. There was also something hanging from the three, a rope maybe?
My brain did not work properly so I could still not understand why she was here, until. The one that looked like a male stepped away from the three and walked towards Caru.
 Just as he started moving an uneasy feeling started to brew inside me, something with him seemed familiar. As he reached Caru I suddenly realized who it was, I looked at his height compared to Caru and the scars on his back I realized that it was her ex- boyfriend, what the fuck was he doing here?! But I knew it all too well, because as I watched them Caru kissed him.

I turned away feeling betrayed and there before me stood Isel. She was the one that had been standing beneath the lush three, my ex- girlfriend.
“You can see them just as clearly as I do Liv” Isel said with a quiet voice. “She never loved you. She just used you to get over her ex, just as you did to forget me”. No, that wasn’t true! In the beginning it was so, but not now! I love Caru with all my heart, I really love her! It was almost as if Isel had read my thoughts because I saw a smile playing in her face as she turned me around towards them. It was almost like Sadness had gotten smaller, because I could see them more clearly now and I could hear Caru’s voice. She was embracing the male and I saw tears in her eyes. “I am so sorry that I left you! I have never forgotten you, I tried, but I never managed to do it!” she cried.
I just stood there paralyzed. I wanted to look away but I couldn’t do it.
I heard Isel behind me “See, she never loved you, she never really liked girls, but still she got together with you. She probably saw how pathetic you were and felt sorry for you. Just like me.” I spun around; I could not believe what I was hearing, even though I knew that Isel had never loved me, hearing it like this was too much.  I heard Caru talking behind us, whispering sweet words to him, using the words that she had used on me. The words that had been nothing more than a lie.


I clenched my fists, trying to handle all of this, but no, I was not able to. I felt the pain in my chest that had been the throwing knife from Pain grow stronger, I felt it grow and embrace my whole body and being. And then, I snapped.  I fell out of my own consciousness, I could still see, but I could not control my body. I was now by the control of Len, the demon side of me. I felt my body screaming again, wanting to escape into the real life, but this was like a bad dream, I could not escape!
The pain in my body grew stronger as I saw the girl from Fear flashing before my eyes, and in a jolt I realized that it had been Isel, Isel had been the one from Fear!  I heard a voice from the back of my head screaming “YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THIS LIV! YOU WILL BE HERE FOREVER, AND I WILL BE THE ONE MAKING THE RULES!” It was Len. The surroundings of Sadness disappeared and there was darkness once again, I could still see Isel, Caru and her ex-boyfriend, and I could see the rope from the three.I now knew what I had to do, to be able to fight my way away from Len I had to regain my own mind; I had to get rid of the things disturbing it, and first off was Len.
I closed my eyes trying to clear my mind and at least gain the control of my hands, while doing so I heard Isel whisper in my ear “You know that it is in vain, Len will soon control your whole being, just like when you were with me for the last time. You won’t be able to do anything.”  It was true, Len was the one being with Isel the last time I saw her, and even so, Liv was the one watching form a distance, wanting to be in control.


Suddenly my body did a leap, Len had started moving, I ran in a speed I did not think was possible heading straight for the rope that I now saw was tied into a hanging rope, what was Len intending to do, kill us both!?  Just as that thought flew through my mind, I grabbed a hold of the male, the one that was Caru’s Ex-boyfriend, dragging him with me in the run as I kept going for the rope. Was Len going to kill him!?  Yes he was, as we reached the rope I threw the male in the air, or Len threw him in the air. And placed his neck inside the hoop of the rope, I expected Len to let go of him at once and make an end to him, but no. He stood there holding his body up so he wouldn’t be killed. I heard steps behind me; Caru was coming after us, after me!
Caru had never known about Len, she just knew that I could be a bit psychotic at times.  This could be bad, I was not in control of my body at all, the only thing I could do was observe!


Just as Caru reached us, Len -Or was it me?- let go of the male,  before turning around to face Caru.
I could hear him squirm to get free of the rope choking him, but it seemed to be a gap in the darkness just below the rope. Caru stood there looking past us, I could see the reflection of the male in her wide open eyes, he had gone limp.
A sudden pain on the cheek made me focus on Caru again; she had slapped me, slapped Len.

I could hear his thoughts wheezing around, like hearing voices in a crowded room. “What the fuck does that bitch think she is doing!?” “Liv, why the hell are you with someone like her!” “You know that Isel is right, she doesn’t love you!” “Time to show that bitch what happens when she messes with me….With US!”.  That last fragment that I heard threw me into a mild shock, when the hell had Len ever been on my team?
I leaped forth against Caru, and we had soon pinned her to the ground with a tight grip around her throat.  Caru tried to fight me, screaming my name, but Len did not respond to my name. Desperate I tried to gain control once again.


Like I was looking at myself from a birds view I could see the situation clearly, Len was in control of me, trying to make Caru lie still, while Isel stood some meters away with a comfortable smirk in her face. Why was she smiling? Did she find this amusing? The fact that my demon was trying to kill the one I love. As if I had gotten another slap in the face I realized something, I had never really loved Caru, Isel had been right, I had only used her, but I had somehow always known that Caru had something similar to hide from me.

I was back in my body, and I had the control again. The realization had somehow calmed Len enough to give me the control again.
I let go of Caru and spun around, charging at Isel, I still had the swift movements that I had while under Len’s control. I hit Isel with my body, slamming her to the ground. Yes… there was a ground here again, there wasn’t just darkness. I could see the outline of objects and threes again.

Having Isel underneath me like this was an amazing feeling, and I felt a surge of power flow through me that was my own, I could do whatever I wanted to her… Hell yeah I could! This wasn’t the real world! I can do whatever I want! I looked down at her, and as I did I noticed something poking out from my chest on the left side, I grabbed it and pulled. It was the throwing knife from Pain, stained with my blood, dripping to the ground, but it did not have the appearance of a throwing knife, it looked more like a mix between a Sami knife and a dagger. 


I lifted the knife over my head, ready to pound all my force through it and into Isel, as I swung the knife I heard both Caru and Isel scream while Len’s psychotic laugh chimed in my head. The knife hit and went through something, but it wasn’t flesh, I had buried the knife deep into the ground just beside Isel’s left ear. Over Isel’s heaving breath I could hear Caru standing up behind me and in the surge of a second Len was back, pulling the knife out of the ground and turning it against Caru. “If you interfere with this, your death will come sooner than planed my dearest bitch.”  I growled. Caru looked like the moon had just fallen in her head, how I could have said something like that to her, but well. It wasn’t me.

She backed up some steps while trying to speak, but the only thing she did was opening and closing her mouth, not a sound escaping her lips. Yeah… it was better that way, not a sound escaping those treacherous lips that had only spoken lies to me. I turned to Isel again, and as I did I saw pure fear in her eyes, that smirk from earlier was long gone, good. I played around with the knife as Len had left me to myself again, spinning it between my fingers.
I knew where I was now, I wasn’t in Sadness, nor Happiness, neither were I on the crossing path for any of those, no. I was now in Insanity, a place that I had feared, but for what reason? At LAST I could unleash all of my anger, all of my mentality… All my wishes of torture.

I did not want Isel to escape me with one stab; I wanted her to suffer, to feel agony, like I had done when she walked away, only to come back months later to play with my emotions. I took the knife, and placed it on various places on my own body, the wrist, behind the ear, the chest, the shoulder, trying to find the places that would hurt the most and make her scream the loudest.


I had decided, and jagged the knife deep into her stomach, twisting and jagging it back and forth, but she did not scream, she only yelped and closed her eyes shut. Any normal person would be screaming in agony by that, so why not her? I twisted the knife once more, before pulling it out slowly, it was stained with her blood, crimson red like the rose I had once giver her,  I jagged the knife into her again, this time into her hand, making the knife pierce straight through it. Just like Jesus on the cross I thought with a small laugh. I heard a sob behind me and I turned my head to look, Caru was on her knees, looking at us with tears in her eyes, she was silently begging me to stop, but hell no. I was not stopping just because of the plea of somebody that had betrayed me.

I turned back to Isel, her eyes were still closed, but I could see tears pouring form them. Tears wouldn’t make it end, pleas wouldn’t make it end, I would not end her misery before I had heard her scream in agony, as I had done many times in the night, causing my parents to storm into my room to find me covered in scars and my own blood and tears. Deep inside, she knew that. But still she did not scream! I looked around, and I could see more of the surroundings than before. It looked vaguely like my old school yard.

My focus was back on Isel again, I felt a psychotic smile playing in my face as I tried to figure where to place the knife next. I grabbed the shaft of the knife and twisted, causing a big gap in her hand as I pulled it out again.
Isel had started to shiver from the pain and I could hear chocked sobs escaping her lips as she wanted me to end her misery.

I leaned forth and kissed her forehead, I then proceeded to kiss her cheek, and from her cheek to her neck. As I was about to kiss her lips I turned my head slightly to see Caru’s reaction. Her eyes were closed and she was shivering trying not to cry anymore.  “Hey, Caru” I whispered, my voice had turned husky after lack of use. I fought with myself to not break into laughter of the sight that was before me. “Caru, look at me…” she only shook her head, “LOOK AT ME!” I did not want to play games with her, I wanted her to see what I was about to do. My shout startled her and of pure fear she opened her eyes and looked up.
I had lifted Isel’s head up from the ground with my free hand and turned to kiss her, and just as our lips met I heard a sob break from Caru. I could not help myself and smiled as I continued to kiss Isel. Oh how good it was to feel her lips against mine again, I had truly missed it.

A thump sounded as I let go of the knife to have both hands free to be able to hold around Isel. I felt her body relax as I tangled my hand into her short hair, how I had missed to hold her like this, being able to burry my hand into her hair and just kiss her. I let the hand in her hair stray down to her waist as Isel had started to relax completely in the belief that it was all over, that I wouldn’t torture her any more. I let my lips part from hers and went to her neck. One soft bite was all that was needed, so I did it.  I carefully bit her neck as my free hand found its way back to the knife again, and in one swift movement I let go of her, letting her fall to the ground, and just as the thump of her body sounded I jagged the knife into her all too exposed neck. A gargled scream sounded from her as I had cut half way through her larynx, making it almost impossible for her to speak. At last, I got the scream I was yearning for, an agonizing jagged scream that sounded out though the area that looked more and more like my old school yard.


I could not hold myself any longer, I started laughing. A twisted psychotic laugh that nobody had heard before, I unleashed all of it, laughing and screaming in pure joy for the life I had soon taken.  I hurled myself from the ground, pulling the knife with me as I started dancing in circles, and as I stopped I looked at the knife. It was covered in fresh blood. The blood of the one I love, I looked at Caru again, she wasn’t crying any more, no. She looked at me like I was from another planet, I only grinned at her before I pulled a finger across the blade of the knife. I stood there for a while, studying the blood on my finger before I led it to my mouth. The taste of iron entered my mouth together with a sweet taste that could not be mistaken, blood type B+.  I did not know how I recognized the blood type from the taste, but I did not care. Hah nothing mattered anymore! I had killed the cause of my misery!
I fell to my knees, still having small eruptions of laughter as I looked at Caru. “She is next” I heard Len whisper softly “She only used you, she BETRAYED you!” Len worked me up, preparing me for another murder… Wait, murder? No, This wasn’t murder, this was ENTERTAINMENT!

And with that thought barging in my mind I leapt for Caru and before she was even able to scream I had jagged the knife into her mouth and down her throat, one wrong move from her, and the knife would pierce though her neck and puncture the main artery for sure. As I looked at her with a gigantic grin in my face I saw tears starting to well in her eyes again. Hah, how pathetic. “So, your last look at me shall be blurred by tears?” I growled, “Very well then!” And by that I jagged the blade of the knife against me, making it puncture out though her throat before I pulled the knife upwards making a big gash.

Her attempted screams of pain turned into nothing more but weak gargles as her eyes were wide open searching my face for anything that could look familiar, but no. I could see the disappointment in her eyes even after they had gone dull.I let go of the knife and stood up from the ground, still with a big grin plastered in my face. They were dead; those who were the cause of my misery were dead, at least in my own mind. I could now return to reality without worrying about anything! I did not care for happiness anymore, my mission was completed, I did not need to find happiness anymore!

I closed my eyes, preparing to wake up in a bed at the nurse’s office with nothing other than white walls and curtains surrounding me.
It never happened though; I started to hear screams of horror around me and the buzzing of voices, what was going on? I opened my eyes, and I saw a big crowd around me, I was still in my old school yard… I was really… I could hear a smirk within my own head. “Well Liv, didn’t I tell you, you’ll be here forever, and I will make the rules.” Len…… He… I was in his world…. I wasn’t in Insanity nor happiness… I wasn’t in the real world either…. No, I was now in Hell.





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