Pulse - Vampire/Human Story

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Historical Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Right now, disjointed chapters in a vampire story. A character study.

Maybe someone can point out how to integrate the character descriptions into the story.

Maybe character descriptions should be left to the readers interpretations rather than being blatant.

Maybe it should be written as a play/screen play type format instead.

Submitted: September 08, 2010

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Submitted: September 08, 2010

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Chapter 1



A cool breeze wafted through the city at night, the lights blazing, like a thousand colored gemstones, illuminating the night sky.

Still darkness abounded, in the plentiful shadows.

There was no shortage of prey, no matter what the century, thought the figure camouflaged against the grey of the building. Standing on the open balcony, casually leaning on the iron railing, he surveyed the vast metropolis.

He had come to terms with his affliction, and had chosen to use it to better the world, if possible. That was the harder choice because it was feasible, to destroy the world with it.

That nature of it, had its benefits, in certain times.

However, with all he had witnessed and knew would continue to be, he had the power to make a small dent, in lessening its negative impacts. The more he utilized his deadly disorder for a positive outcome, he could single handedly change the world for the better, or so he hoped.

A wise man, once told him “every moment in your life, is a choice, weigh those choices heavily, for you have the power, to mold the future”. After a time, a very long time, he had concluded, that the old man had been correct.

He had suffered heavily, from some of the choices that he’d made in the past, and had found out the hard way, that to suffer, one had to first feel.

The thick fog of reminiscence, was shattered by a piercing scream, and shrill, panic stricken voice. Here we go again, he thought. He would feed well tonight.

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Random Chapter/information that came to me last night

Characters so far...

1. Shael (pronounced "Shale"- an apparently Hebrew name, meaning "aquire"-which is perfect for this character, who has aquired lots of "relics") - main Character - Vampire - young man about 30 physically-not sure of his vampire age yet), grey eyes, strong body (maybe 5' 8" tall?)(from being a warrior, marching troops, riding horses, weilding swords, hand to hand combat, etc) as it was, when he "died".

He has long hair, but keeps it tied up, like Orlando Bloom had his, in Lord of the rings. I think Highlander's Duncan wore his that way too. I haven't decided what color it is yet. probably just ordinary wavy brown maybe, as he was the son of ordinary peasents.

He is feircly independant, self sufficient, and lives by a code of honor, similar to the Knights of the Round Table code, fight oppressers (sp?), defend the (good hearted) defenseless, no matter their tribe, or station in life.

IN THE PRESENT: He portrys himself as the secret benefactor of a museum. He may be something else, to blend into the human world, but I don't know what it is yet.

He owns a collection of "relics" he gathered in his perpetual lifetime, and allows various museums in different places, and times, to display his "stuff" in the museum, so it will be safe.

He considers it his duty to defend the weak, and do away with those who prey on them. He was a poor peasent boy once, but had such a drive to better things for himself/his family and his people, that he basically can't stop doing that. He hopes that he will be able to precipitate good in the world, since he must kill to live.

IN HIS TIME: he was just a warrior, but he saved the life of a king, so became the king's body guard/army commander.

He was bestowed by the king, the king's own gilt, etched, and jeweled sword (his most prized posession-as he uses it against other vampires, not living with the same code of honor that he has.) He keeps it close to him, at all times.

The king also gave him a ring, that lets all know that he's in the king's service. It is also a prized posession of his, but he only wears it at events extremely important to him, for fear of wearing the ring out.

I haven't figured out, for what king he worked for, or the time frame of "his time" yet.


2. The Gaul (or so I call him, right now) important character - Older Vampire

He's a big, strong, amiable, blond guy, blue eyes, with shoulder length hair, and full (blond) beard. He's probably in his 50's. about 5' 10" tall. He is a vampire older (in physical appearence, and vampire age) than shael. He is a man of few words, or only says something, if he needs to "educate" someone. He may be a Saxon.

He is shael's maker. He tolerates Shael (as his "son") in his territory, as needed, for a specific reason. He allows him freedom of movement within his territory (based on unbroken trust (over the years) and mutual respect), but is specific about what will be hunted, where, and how many times.

On emergency occasions, he will tolerate Gideon (as his "grandson") as well, in the company of Shael, or alone, for a very limited time, only if he has come, or been sent on Shael's behalf.

Sage will not allow Gideon freedom of movement, in his territory. He will allow him to stay in the main living area, of Sage's abode only. Sage will harvest blood, and serve it to Gideon in a goblet. Gideon is not allowed to hunt in sage's territory. Gideon of course doesn't like this, but will respect his wishes, while he has to be there.

Gideon wouldn't dishonor Sage, but he is used to getting is own way, and greatly dispises being submissive to anyone but Shael. Shael knows this, and pretty much treats Gideon as an equal, but does expect him to follow the rules of vampire ettiqute.

Sage knows that Gideon may be a loose cannon, if not tempered by his submissiveness to Shael. Gideon is submissive to Sage, but more because he has to be, rather than because he has a deep sense of loyalty/indeptedness, as he does with Shael. Gideon is also kept in check, in sage's presence, by the fact that Sage is older than himself and Shael put together, and as such, he could "conqure" Gideon in a flash, if he wanted to.

Shael has great respect for the Gaul, and would die for him, if need be. He sees him as his "new" king type master.

The Gaul, doesn't really have a proper name anymore. Maybe it's been so long since he used his given name, and he forgot it, or he used so many other names that he can't remember which was his given one, or maybe he doesn't want a given name. That way, he can't be located by other vampires, by name.

He has lived alone for his vampire life, so no one really is there to call him by name anyway. He is probably a hermit or Monk, in the present.
Shael calls him Sire, (a king's title-to him meaning that the man is as honorable, as his original master was) or Sage (as in a wiseman).

I must say here, that my vampires are generally solitary, as they are predetors, and most predetors are solitary, and have territories, so that areas aren't over hunted.

However, at certian times, they will allow certian other vampires in their territories, for specific reasons.

It is an unwritten vampire law, that when in another vamp's territory, one must be invited there, or request special permission to be there. They must ask permission to hunt, and what type of prey is allowed, and where to hunt, if it matters.

While there, they're submissive to the owner, and it's wishes. If the "visitor" doesn't agree with something, then he should leave. If he doesn't, then he will be considered an intruder, and killed, or driven away as such.

It's also, so the vampires can account for any "incidences" in any given territory. If people start dying, and the owner isn't doing it, then who is, and why, they will try to find out quick.

If a vamp is in another's territory (uninvited/with no permission), it will be immediatly confronted by the owner of the terrotory, as soon as it's known to be there. If it's a friend, it may be allowed to stay at the owners discresion, if not, it's fair game for a kill.

If it IS a "friend" and it didn't ask permission to be there, then it's considered an insult to the owner, who will deal with the "disrespect" as it sees fit. It may banish the "friend", declare the friendship "tie" over, forgive the friend, or kill the "friend" as an intruder.

Some power hungry vamps without honor, try to gain territory by "conquring" a resident vamp, and "aquiring" it's "holdings".

That's why the vamps must be on guard all the time. Vamps can sense other vamps, within a given range. I don't exactly know how far that range extends, whatever range it is, is probably the radias of a given territory.

Usually what goes on in another vamp's territory, is their business.

However, if it becomes known, that "rogues" are attacking "peaceable" vamps without cause, then that is one of the times that honorable vamps, may tolerate one another, under set ground rules, to dispose of the "rebel" as allies, to keep the peaceful "status quo".

If the rebel vamps band together also, then there could be a vamp "civil war".

These are usually not often because vamps know that some "immortals"/vamps, will die the true death, and few vamps want to die themselves.

3. Gideon (name means "mighty warrior" and has the word "Eon" in it, which means "An indefinitely long period of time"-so it's a perfect name for this immortal "fighter") Shael is Gideon's maker.

Shael and Gideon have a blood bond, as well as the "maker"bond because they both saved each other at different times, by giveing each other their own blood, in various battles they fought together over the years. In essence, making them "blood brothers".

This "you saved my life, so I'm indepted to you", and vice versa, is what makes their bond twice as strong, than just the maker bond alone. But because they shared each other's blood, Shael can tell if Gideon is in danger, or in near, and Gideon can tell if shael is in danger, or near.

Gideon is one of the "noble" vampire's, meaning he does respect the same code of honor as Shael, but he's generally unconcerned about what other vampires are doing, as long as it doesn't affect him. He generally doesn't have the same idea about defending the defenseless, as Shael and Sage, and some others do. However, he will side with them, if called to do so, though.

He's a younger vampire (probably 25 physically -a relatively young vampire-not sure of exact age yet-he's younger than Shael though.)

He's tall (6' 1" tall) and lith (slender but strong) long loose, black hair, emerald green eyes. Handsome oval face, with high cheekbones . [see image at the top of the page, but Gideon, is physically older than this guy.]

He usually dresses in full length black (to blend into shadows better). He has a fiery, independant spirit. He isn't as moralistic as Shael because he's younger. He generally doesn't like humans, in any capacity, other than food.

I don't quite know who gideon is in the present, or his own time, or when his time is. I do know who he is in relation to other people in the plot though.

4. unnamed (as of yet) girl human.

(I have to check on ancient tribes & medeival times, and different centuries to place these characters the correct times apart.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

disjointed bits of a vampire story, from a gazillion post it notes, the only paper I could find.

They will be arranged in order, then the story built around the reassembled chapter and others.

(note: less noble vampire's, love human wars because they get to drain the fallen, but still alive, on the battlefield, or annialate both sides, leaving no survivors as witnesses.

They like them because they don't have to hide their meals, from any humans that may happen onto the scene because it will appear that the humans killed each other, and then wild animals savaged them after death. They can gorge themselves, and not have to clean up the mess.)

*

...and falter.

The enraged but weakening vampire leapt at Shael, who in a last great effort, spun around, and beheaded the vamp.

Then he collapsed unconsious (added-not on post it note-) onto the cold ground, as the dim light of twilight/dawn? glinted off the sea of fallen bodies, scattered across the battlefield.

*

In the dim light, a shadowy figure appeared near Shael's still form. A hand emerged, and gripped Shael's neck from the front, feeling for signs of life. A weak pulse varified that it wasn't to late.

In seconds, Shael's body was plucked from the massacre scene.

...suddenly light flashed to life in the darkness. A torch had been lit.

As Shael's eyes regained the ability to see, an arm and chalice...

*

...(Note: The Gaul saves Shael because he killed The Gaul's foe)

...appeared by his face.

He was suddenly heaved into a sitting position, and then a gloved hand grabbed his long matted hair, and pulled his head back......causing his mouth to open.

Then with his head imobilized, his eyes watched as the (gloved) hand tilted the chalice, which he could see was golden from the ...light glinting off it.

(Note: he's turned by the Gaul)

...his eyes followed the liquid, as it started to stream from the chalice...into his mouth. It was blood!

He knew the taste of blood, as he had tasted his own many a time, in countless battles. He tried to resist it, but all of it, was...poured in his mouth.

Then the chalice was quickly put down, and Shael's mouth forcefully shut.

"Swallow!" the voice comanded. Shael reluctantly ...did as he was told, nearly gagging on the thick liquid.

"Good," said the voice, seemingly quite satisfied. But...the strong hand still held Shael's head from behind, so he still couldn't see the owner of the hands.

after a few minutes, the hand gripping Shael's...hair, released it, so Shael could resume a more normal head position. But the hand over his jaw remained.

A strained silence filled the...?...semi dark shelter.

Shael didn't sense any threat from this mysterious man, so he closed his eyes and relaxed.

*

The.....pain (of his battle wounds) seemed to be dulling, as well as his senses. Slowly, darkness enveloped him again, but it wasn't because the torch went out. He had fallen unconcious again.

*

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Author notes

This is a work in progress-just want to find out what people think of it.

I don't even know the whole story yet-just want feedback on the writing style/content/etc.

This is my first story, so be kind.

I started this story, because I wasn't satisfied with the other vampire stories out there. Plots with warring factions, porno like intimacy, blatentcy in varied elements, typical/cheesy portrayals, etc.

This is a "what if" tale, kind of like the Jumper movie. What if one had an ability, that the world at large, didn't have.

How would one use it? Would one use it in a positive/unselfish or negative/selfish way, or both? How would one keep it a secret, so it wasn't exploited? Would one trust another with the secret? If so, whom? How would one interact in the world at large.

How would one's personality/personal beliefs/codes of honor (if any) temper/integrate with the ability? Would one conflict with law enforcement/government officials (as in most plots). Could one really live indetected with such an ability?


© Copyright 2018 Shael. All rights reserved.

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