I Sit

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: January 10, 2018

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Submitted: January 10, 2018




I sit. I sit in front of my locker and watch the stream of faces passing through the halls. I observe the way they walk. The perfect, popular girl that everyone looks at like a god walks as if she owns the school. The dumb jock walks as if there is not a care in the world, doing everything possible to live in the moment. The shy girl stays in the shadows going to great lengths to just stay invisible. The boy that has a his hood up and headphones on blocking out the world is completing the bare minimum to just pass. The division in the school is evident, creating lines of unspoken rules for kids to stick to just to fit in with the culture. The shy girl wishes she could be looked at like a god, but doesn't know what comes with it.She tries to become invisible hoping that nobody notices her cheap clothes and used school supplies. She wishes she could afford designer clothes and have tons of friends. She doesn’t know she is envious of something she doesn’t even understand. She doesn’t know that the popular girl she idolizes goes home everyday to spend all her freetime researching and practicing the new trends in to the middle of the night just so she can keep her friends. She doesn’t know that the rich girl who seems to have everything goes home to an empty house filled with all the new stuff but lacking in love. The popular girl sees the shy girl with second hand clothing and the cheap shoes but would give anything to have parents that would love her. She sees the girls parents who never miss a competition or recital and make family dinner a priority. She longs for the day the priority in her parent’s lives  is no longer making the next deal at work or just trying to keep their marriage together but being loving and supportive parents to their only daughter.

The jock who seems to not give a crap about anything in his life is just trying to escape the constant pressure his parents put on him. He just wants to escape the constant and unrelenting weight of perfection is always under. He uses the hallways of the high school as his paradise because for those 8 short hours a day he can forget college and scholarships and just be teenager. He knows that in order meet the sky high expectations his parents have set he has to work day and night.He ignores the mental and physical exhaustion that always seems to accompany his  day it becomes as normal as breathing. He pushes through one more night of 3 A.M study sessions because if he passes this test maybe his parents would give him a break. He sees the kids who are fortunate enough to have parents who don’t care but in reality the boy who blocks at the world would want nothing more than for his parents to have unrealistic expectations for him. He basically raises his 2 younger siblings because his mom is working 3 jobs just to make ends meet after his dad left. Everyday he wakes up and struggles just to get enough motivation to get out of bed. He blocks out the world just trying to keep up with his school work and not give his mom anything else to worry about.He looks at the football team and wishes for the day his only worry is getting a scholarship to a big name university. He wonders if he will even get to go to college considering how much his siblings rely on him.  

The students organize themselves into perfect circles each structured with their own rules and regulations. They follow dos and don'ts, they know who they should and shouldn’t talk to, they stick to the culture not stepping out of line for any reason. In a fantasy world the popular girl would help the shy girl and the boys could relate to the pressure creating a beautiful mosaic of groups, interests and backgrounds. But when we go back this is real life and the popular girl graduates envied by all. She owns the halls and is surrounded by “friends” but is the loneliest girl at the school. The jock goes to college on full ride. He goes to state for the football team but secretly battles depression because nothing is perfect enough for his parents. The shy girl is forgotten by her class, no one remembers the face they looked right through everyday when yelling at their friend from across the hall.She regrets not making an impact. The boy who blocked out the world stays right where he is, he picks up an extra job trying to give his siblings everything he didn’t have. He does his best to support his mom and give them everything he never had. He never went to college and wishes he could do more.

The popular girl makes friends with shy girl and the jock is doing a project with a geek. I sit. I see as a senior the lines are blurring. The rules are changing, the circles are breaking up. The mosaic is forming. The cliques are disappearing and new friendships are forming and the air is changing. Unification is happening a new generation dominates the high school. THe generation we have waited for has arrived and maybe this time things will change.


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