The Rain Has No Favorites

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

An African Girl wakes up every morning despising herself and who she is until one day while she's out in the rain she meets a boy who makes her rethink everything....

The Rain Has No Favorites

 

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Most epic love stories begin with a person. A person who is lost and looking for something or someone to set their whole life in motion. A spark that will eventually trigger their never airborne hearts to soar, a beacon of light beckoning their ship to the land that is love. Some romances are propelled by death and trauma, events that cause that person feel alone and distraught. Their romance comes into their lives and saves them from themselves, and from the world around them. Sometimes that romance is ended abruptly and one of those people passes away, leaving the other to live on without them. Their love however stays strong, the cold hands of death cannot get a firm grasp on the deity that is an epic romance. Eventually Death realizes too late that his plans of destroying the love that those have backfired and instead have proven to people everywhere that even his darkness has no power over the light of love.

 

Other romances don’t need that, some of them start with just a person who has a crush and finally finds it in themselves to make a move, realizing that all of their time on this earth is limited. That waiting another day to experience the joy of loving, wholly and unconditionally seems stupid. And then there are those romances where the person is too shy or considers themselves an outcast,  eventually they find someone that breaks them out of their shell and helps them become a better person. A romance that in some ways is chaotic, because why would someone want another person to define who they are? Romance should be about two equal parts completing each other, not one in need of the other. Love is not a rescue, it is not fun, easy or frolicking in flowers. Love is hard, and messy and dirty.


 

I sigh as I close my book, my mind rambling with thoughts about romance and why it is perceived the same way all the time. I dog ear my page and throw it over to the counter next to me before pushing myself up and off my bed. I glance over at my clock and realize that it’s a lot later than it was 3 hours ago…..well I guess that’s the point.

 

I look outside and notice that it’s pouring cats and dogs, the perfect weather for a walk! I say to myself as I make my over to my closet to grab my rain coat. I’ve always had a thing for the rain, a lot of  people always say that it’s dull or makes them feel dreary and sad. I don’t think the rain is like that at all, in fact I think the rain might just be the most alive and complex, out of all the other things that Mother Nature throws at us. Hail could break your windows if it’s big enough and falls hard enough, sun could give you a bad burn and dry skin, snow could eventually turn you into a human popsicle. But rain? Rain was water, the essence of all things living, showering down on us and letting us experience life in it’s simplest form. Sure you could catch a cold or pneumonia, but what was life if not a little sick sometimes?

 

 

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As I start to open my door, I walk back over to my mirror to give myself a good looking over. The plastic raincoat hangs low on my body, sort of making me look like a giant marshmallow.  My dark curly hair tosses it’s way around my head like some violent black waves. My brown eyes stare at themselves in the mirror, wishing that they were a different color. My dark skin pushes out against the bright yellow and greens of my jacket, further reminding me that I was different. A shame upon this part of the world, a stigma. My skin shouldn’t be the way it is, it’s not right. I sigh and shake my head, telling myself that the self attacks are done and quickly turn heel and head out the door.

 

My mother makes no effort to stop me as I quickly grab onto the front door knob and turn it. After our heated conversation yesterday I’m not surprised. Even so she is used to me taking walks in the rain, of course she is concerned about why I do it so often but after a couple of years of telling her that I just can’t explain it, she decided to stop asking questions. It’s not that I couldn’t explain to her why I like to go out in the rain it was that I didn’t think she would completely understand. My mother is a very traditional woman, as an African American female she makes it her mission to constantly remind me that through the grace of God and the hard work of our ancestors, that we had made it here. That we were living in our OWN house, with our OWN money, that we were free to do or be whatever it is that we want to be as long as we keep to ourselves.

 

So it wasn’t really freedom I constantly remind her, but she scolds me and sends me off to my room. Telling me that I don’t appreciate all that our people have been through. I do though, I appreciate that we are where we are, but we aren’t completely there yet are we? We are still forced everyday to hate who we are because we are not the same. Forced to marry into our own because it is shameful to branch out, not just to the whites but to our own families. Forced to be prisoners even though we say we are free.

 

My feet splash against the slippery stone ground, I walk careful so that I don’t slip, as I have done many times before. I look up into the sky and let the rain beat against my face. The rain is just about the only thing in the whole wide world that doesn’t judge my mother, my people and I for what we are. No matter who you are in the world, the rain will touch with you with the same softness that it touches everyone else. It will not pelt my face harder because I am black or because I am a woman. It will not scold or reprimand me because I feel no need to separate myself from someone else because of the way I am. It is gentle, and patient and calm. The rain is neutral and non partial to the fickle disputes of mankind.

 

I hold out my hand and catch a few drops, my skin shivers with excitement as my mind races with what to do next. As I turn to head down the street a little farther into the downpour I see a figure standing in front of me. I blink once, and then twice to make sure what I’m seeing is real. Nobody ever comes out into the rain, people in this town hate getting wet. I squint and try to get a better look at what’s in front of me, a boy, no older than I am staring at me. I drop my hands and place them both in my pockets. The first thing I notice as he starts to walk towards me is that he is white. He has black hair like I do and brown eyes too. In fact as he gets closer I realize that he looks a lot like me, the way his chin is round, his nose like mine is round. All the things on myself that I judge myself on every morning, makes him look even more exotic and beautiful….weird.

 

I am scared at first because my mother tells me all the time not to get involved with the white kids. When I ask her why she always tells me the story about how her sister fell in love with one and was beaten for it. All the while she was getting beat, the white man, the man that she loved, didn’t do anything to help her. My mother says it has something to do with the fact that they are too prideful of creatures to associate with us. So, so far I had done well to keep away from any problems with them, I avoid eye contact at school and when one calls me a nigger I just hold my tongue and keep walkin. The boy stares at me and doesn’t say anything and a I start to feel uncomfortable. As if he senses that I might leave or something he calls out to me through the rain.

 

“Hello.” I am taken back, a white person has never talked to me in a friendly tone before.

 

“Hi.” I say to him, hoping that I didn’t make a mistake in answering.

 

“You know you are getting all wet out here?” He asks me his eyebrows raised in amusement, probably because he ain’t never seen a black girl out in the rain before.

 

“I know, it’s because we’re out in the rain.” He laughs as if what I just said was funny somehow and I push my hands deeper into my pockets. Now he’s making fun of me, I knew I shouldn’t have answered his question.

 

“That’s very true, how silly of me to have not known that.” He says smiling at me, he takes a few steps closer and I take a few steps back. “I’m not going to hurt you if that’s what you think.” He says holding his hands up in peace, but I still don’t trust him. How can I?  He’s white.

 

“Why are you talking to me? White folks around here don’t talk to people like me.” He pulls back as if I’ve slapped him somehow.

 

“What do you mean people like you?” I sigh and kick some raindrops as they are about to hit the ground, why is this boy playing games with me?

 

“Black, or as you guys like to call us Niggas.” I watch as his face goes from shock at my words to pure sadness.

 

“I certainly don’t know what you mean Miss. All I see standing in front of me is a girl, a very beautiful one at that.” I smile and then quickly try to cover it up with a frown. Why is he being so nice to me?

 

“Well then your eyes must be pretty messed up sir.”

 

“Please call me Lerato.” I say the name back to myself, as it leaves my lips I feel a warm feeling in my chest. Something about the name makes me feel….weird.

 

“Okay Lerat-O” I say stressing out each syllable trying to find another way to say it that doesn’t make me feel like my stomach is gonna explode. “Anyways I think I should go…” As I stare at the ground and walk I hear footsteps come closer to me, I hold my breath and pray that he isn’t coming to talk to me. I can already feel the amount of trouble I am going to be in for even speaking to a white boy.

 

“Hey, hey you can look at me. Don’t be afraid to look at me, I am not going to hurt you. I would never do anything to hurt you.” For some reason his voice sounds like it’s pleading to me, I sigh and look up at him. His brown eyes look just like mine, his dark black hair looks so familiar it causes me to reach up and feel my own . For a second I thought he might have stolen it. He reaches out to grab my hand and I pull away, I eye him warily and slowly ever so slowly he tries again. This time I let our hands touch, a shock surprises me and I almost pull away again. But it wasn’t that bad of a shock so I let it run through my hand again as he grabs onto it. He cradles my hand in his hands, they are white and smooth. The skin that everytime I look into the mirror I wish God had given me. He flips my hand over, the rain pelting down on both of us, curious and non-judging.

 

“What’re you….” I start to ask him but he places his free finger to his lips and tells me to stay quiet. I don’t know why but I do.


 

“Your skin….” He starts looking up at me, I try to read his emotions but I can’t make it out. For some reason his eyes seem like they are lit up, but why?

 

“I know…” I saw pulling my hand away in shame and hurt. Of course he was going to say it was dirty….” I already told you I’m black, didn’t you get that when you were a foot away from me?” He smiles at me and then looks back down at my hand again, his face running through thoughts, I can see it on his face. The tingle of his touch still lingering on the back of my hand.

 

“It’s….it’s beautiful, why would you ever not love and appreciate it?” I take a step back, a little confused by what I’m hearing.

 

“Excuse me?” I say not knowing how else to respond to him saying that my black skin is beautiful.

 

“Every time it’s raining I see you out here playing, happy and joyful not a care in the world. And then without fail you look down at your skin and your face turns sad. Why are you sad because of the way you look? When the way you look is beautiful.”

 

“I don’t….wait you’ve been watching me?” I say to him, my eyes wide. He nods like it is not a big deal and then stares at me waiting for an answer I don’t know if I can give him. I watch as he smiles and it reaches his eyes, a sign my Mama tells me, means it’s a real. I shake my head not sure what to say to that. My stomach is feeling a million different things and for a second I feel like I can’t breath. Why am I feeling like this?

 

“Yeah everyday since you guys have been here. Like I said before I think you’re beautiful and to not look would be a dishonor.” My chest I can feel is fighting against me, telling me that I need to get back home. Back to where my mind and body aren’t playing tricks on me, a place where my Mama can tell me why it is I’m feeling this way.

 

“I have to go….” I say to him before turning around, I feel an arm grab me and I am swung around to face him.

 

“Okay I understand you want to go home, but before you leave. Can you just say one time for me that you are beautiful?”

 

“What?”

 

“Say that you think you are beautiful and I will leave you alone.”

 

“Why? Why is it so important to you for me to say that you don’t even know me!” I say, starting to get angry at him that he is telling me what to do. I don’t think I’m really mad at him, I’m more mad at the fact that he can read my self hate like an open church hymn.

 

“Because I don’t think I can go through another second, minute or day, seeing you and knowing that you hate everything that I am in love with.”  My eyes grow wide as I stare at him, the sincerity of his words scare me. I know that he isn’t lying to me and a part of me is scared by it. Another part of me, some deep, small part of me is jumping with joy. I realize that the daylight is starting to go out, and I am going to need to be back home soon.

 

“I…….I am pretty.” I say trying to walk away now that I’ve said what he wanted me too.

 

“No, you were supposed to say you are beautiful.” He says his voice coated by sadness as he stares up at me through his lashes. I sigh and wipe some rain out of my face.

 

“Fine! I’m beautiful! There are you happy?” I watch as he does another smile that reaches up to his eyes and pulls me into a hug. My hands are frozen in the air behind him and I am to afraid to return the hug back, he is still a white boy.

 

“You have no idea how happy I am.” He says to me before letting me go and staring at me one more time. His hand is tucked under his beautifully rounded chin. He winks at me and turns around heading back to whatever house he lives in, I don’t wait to see where he goes. Instead I turn around and head back to my own house. Before I get to far though I turn around and call out to him, glad to see he’s still within my view.

 

“Can I maybe see you tomorrow?” He smiles at me and nods his head.

 

“Of course you can see me whenever you want beautiful!”

 

“Okay ummm how about tomorrow around noon, near that big puddle right there?” I say pointing do the deepest puddle on the street. I know that even if it’s sunny tomorrow it won’t dry up that fast. He thinks about it for a second and then gives me a thumbs up, I smile and turn around hoping that he doesn’t see me as over anxious.

 

That night I don’t tell my mother about meeting the boy, instead I go straight up to my room and plant myself on my bed and pick up my stupid romance novel to read some more. Before I know it I’m asleep, waking up to the crow of the rooster than lives on our neighbors farm. I slowly crack open my eyes before I leap out of bed. Checking my clock on my dresser I realize that it’s 11:50, I swear under my breath and quickly run around my room to throw on something nice. I settle for a yellow sunflower dress that brings out my skin color. As I look in the mirror, I see myself not as a girl of color, but a girl that may very well be in love. I smile at myself in the mirror for the first time in a long time and run out of the house.

 

My mother once again not asking where I’m going. I fly out into the sun bright road and didn’t stop until I reached the place where I had met the boy from yesterday evening. As I reach the puddle I place my foot in it and watch it ripple outwards. I smile looking down at myself, wondering how in the world I became this happy about just being me. I sit down on the ground and wait for him, wondering what’s taking him so long.

 

Hours pass and there is no sight of him, I begin to start thinking that yesterday was a dream. After all what are the chances that a white boy told me I was beautiful and held me in a warm (well wet) embrace outside in the rain? What were the chances that he could have liked me, even though I was black? I feel the doubt creeping back into my mind about who I am, and the color of my skin. How it is a curse and not a blessing at all, how I wish I could just be white.

 

I lean over to look at my face in the puddle of water. My brown chocolate skin reflects across the body of water.

 

“What are you looking at? See nobody is coming for you, nobody wants this stupid black skin!” I say throwing a fist into the water and sniffling as the tears start to stream down my face. I wiped the tears quickly from my face and stared back into the puddle, which splashed a little and then settled letting me stare back into my face again. A girl stared back at me, a frightened girl. A girl who had lost herself completely because of what I had read in books. A girl whose only insight to love was books where white on white love was the only kind of REAL love, never leaving the door open for a kind of love for people like me. As my eyes search the surface of the puddle my eyes grow wide and I realize something….

 

I feel the gentle drops of rain fall down onto the back of my neck and quickly notice grey clouds forming above me. I close my eyes and let the rain mix in with my tears, hiding them from the world. A couple of seconds later I hear the heavy noise of footsteps running towards me, I drop my head and see Lerato in front of me.

 

“Hi.” He says the look on his face apologetic.

 

“Hi.” I say trying to wipe my tears off of my face before I remember that the rain already did that for me.

 

“Sorry I’m late.” He says to me, I can hear the sincerity in his voice.

 

“It’s alright I  was just…”

 

“Were you crying?” He asks me, his eyebrows raised up high in fear. As if the thought of me crying is the worst thing in the world.

 

“I….No, not really. It's nothing.” I try to lie to him but the look on his face tells me that he doesn’t believe me.

 

“You know I would never leave you? You know that right? I would never do anything to hurt you.” He says to me and I nod because I believe him.

 

“I know...I know. I understand now.”

 

“Oh,” He says smiling at me and kicking the raindrops out of the air like I did yesterday. “So I guess you know who I am now?”

 

I nod at him and smile, it reaches my eyes. I haven’t smiled a real smile in a very long time.

 

“Lerato...I tried to figure out why that name sounded so familiar to me yesterday and then I remembered. That was my name before I came here. My original name before my mother and I were sent here. I didn’t remember it because no one ever uses it anymore. But now I remember.” He nods at me and crouches down near my face and cups it in his hands. They feel warm even though I completely soaked.

 

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“Yeah, I’m you. I’m everything you don’t like about yourself. Your hair, your nose, your chin. Hypothetically I’m everything you wanted to be, white skin and all. I’m what could have been for you. I’m also the kind of love you want, one that defies the norm. One that’s an epic romance.”

 

“I know.” I say nodding my head, knowing that even though he’s what I want, and what I want to be. He isn’t real, he’s still me.

 

“But you found me beautiful, you fell in love with who I was. Even though I have everything you have, you loved me, you loved yourself.” I nod my head, realizing what this means.

 

“....I needed you so that I could love myself.” It’s his turn to nod as he smiles and gives me a big hug.

 

“You smiled at yourself in the mirror this morning. You saw yourself as a girl, not a black person, not a stigma. Just as a girl who was happy and in love.” I think back to when I woke up this morning, there had been no self hate in my mind as I checked the mirror. He was right, I had changed. “I’ve never been happier in my life, you’ve made me...well you the happiest person ever Lerato, but now this means that I have to  go. I’ve done my job.” I nod at him surprised that no more tears are coming out. I’m sad that he’s leaving but a part of me is just grateful that I was starting to care about myself now.

 

“I know...I’m going to miss you.” I say to him realizing how weird it is that he isn’t real, and that in a way he’s me.

 

“I told you I’ll never leave you or hurt you. I’ll always be there, just not to chase you down in the rain anymore.” He says winking at me and planting a kiss on my cheek. Slowly I watch as he fades away into the rain as if he had never been there at all. I sigh and look back up in the sky and watch as the sun makes its way through the clouds the rain suddenly stops.

 

Most epic love stories start with a person.  A person who needs saving by a boy or a girl. A person who is to shy to make a move on the one they love. Or a person who is fueled by tragedy to start a new life, and eventually opens up to someone new letting their heart love again. But that’s not how my epic romance played out. Sure I met a boy, and I needed saving but not from something or another person. I needed saving from myself, and that boy didn’t sweep me off my feet and carry me to safety. That boy was actually me, me telling myself it was okay to be the way that I was. That I could be loved and have my own epic romance someday. But to do that I needed to love myself, how could I expect someone to love me when I couldn’t appreciate what a beautiful creature I was? That my black tangly, curly hair was actually ebony locks trying to prove their worth to the world? That my rounded chin was the perfect size and shape to place my hand on and think. That my brown eyes were comforting and could make me feel safe. That I was beautiful the way I was and I didn’t need a boy to tell me that, I just needed to trust myself. I needed to treat myself the way Mother Nature treated me when she sent me the rain.

 

I realized that day why I loved the rain so much. It was because the rain has no favorites. We are all equal on this earth, we are all loved. Nature is free and wild, doing what it wants when it wants. The rain is the tears of the world crying for us to join it. To join the glorious freedom that comes with all of us realizing that we are all the same. None of us are better, nor worse than the other. I realized that day that I was ready to be free, to join the rain and all of nature in its freedom.

 

Because the rain has no favorites.

 


Submitted: July 05, 2014

© Copyright 2022 ShakeilKanish. All rights reserved.

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Comments

James Clawk

That. Was. AMAZING! I'm having some technical difficulties right now, but when I saw you had a short story out I had to read it. Glad I did, this was heartwarming. Lerato (hope I spelt that right) actally reminded me of myself a lot. Oh, and by Lerato I mean boy Lerato. Although, come to think of it both of them did. Really wonderful story, Ghost. Keep it up. P.S. Where's more TWG2? You get me hooked and then leave me hanging. You're torturing me... :P

Mon, July 7th, 2014 4:10am

nikkicz17

Great work!!! I love how you start out summarizing every cliche love story ever written and then deliver something fresh and incredible. The message that loving yourself is the most important thing of all is something that every person needs to learn about themselves. There are so many people that hate themselves because they don't conform to societies standard of beauty and normal. I know how that can destroy a person and I love that this girl was able to overcome that and realize she was perfect in her own way. This story was delivered so beautifully and the end so surprising yet satisfying.

Fri, July 18th, 2014 11:18pm

Author
Reply

Ah thank you so much lol yeah I noticed a lot of other peoples work in the competition was getting a lot of love and stuff like that so I was like wah no love XD but thank you so much it means the world that you read it and enjoyed it. Yeah I kinda called out the other love stories that I read in the competition and was like everything is so the same you know? I was like well time to do something outside the box and a little risky. There isn't this adorable guy to fall in love with or this HUGE romantic big kiss or anything but I think the message is important for people everywhere to love themselves so I was like what the hell lemme write about it! :) Thank you so much for your amazing words though it means alot!

Fri, July 18th, 2014 4:22pm

JC Axe

Loved it.
I found this story touched upon some serious racial issues, which is always an important subject.

Thank you

JC Axe

Fri, September 12th, 2014 6:55pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much I'm glad you enjoyed it :) While racism isn't as bad as it was before it still exists and it's hard to love yourself when people categorize you as something so yeah!

Fri, September 19th, 2014 9:41am

BabyGurl09

I think I'm in love with your mind.

Fri, September 19th, 2014 2:44pm

Author
Reply

Hahaha oh why thank you :) I guess that means you enjoyed the story? =P That's great it means a lot to me!!

Fri, September 19th, 2014 7:56am

stevendeao

Wow this is a fantastic story, I don't really know what to say than I swear it made me almost cry lol. Your description and words are amazing. When you read this it make you appreciate who you are either black or white. And I do hope racism is stopped.

Sun, September 21st, 2014 9:12am

Author
Reply

Aw I'm honoered that you liked it :) I didn't think anyone actually read my short stories so this was a nice little change of pace when I woke up and saw this message :) And darn it didn't make you cry? lol jk but thank you so much it means a lot to me that you liked it! Yeah I noticed black characters didn't get a lot of love on Booksie well not from what I've read at least so I was like BAM there you go girl! haha

Sun, September 21st, 2014 6:24am

stevendeao

Haha the truth was I cried just don't wanna say it lol. Still the story is a very touchy one, you can't read it without shielding tears. Looking forward to reading more of you stories #KMU

Sun, September 21st, 2014 8:47pm

Author
Reply

Awwww lol well I'm glad it got SOME kind of emotion out of you....who am I kidding I'm stoked that you cried! LMAO I love when I can get an emotion out of people!!

Sun, September 21st, 2014 6:24pm

LANCELOT KNIGHT OF THE CLOAK

O.K. I READ ENOUGH TO MAKE A FARE ACCESSMENT OF YOUR ABILITY. YOU GOT TALENT, NO IFS OR ANDS OR BUT ABOUT IT O.K. YOU ALTHOUGHT YOU MAY THINK YOU TRICK ME INTO READING YOUR SHORT STORY ARE WRONG. I WOULD HAVE SOONER OR LATER READ IT. YOU ARE MANIPULATIVE IN TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO READ YOUR BOOK. I KNOW YOU WANT IT ALL TO HAPPEN NOW BUT YOU MUST BE PATIENCE NOW I WAISTED A LOT OF TIME LOOK UP PATIENCE IN THE DICTRONARY I KNOW THAT THAT IS NOT SPELL CORRECT BUT I AM NOT LOOKING IT UP.IT IS GOING TO COME . AND IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BECAUSE I TRIED TO GIVE YOU GOOD ADVICE, THEN DO NOT READ MY WRITING BECAUSE I DO NOT CARE IF YOU DO OR NOT, I BELIEVE IT WILL BE YOUR LOST IF YOU DO NOT READ MY WRITING. AND IF YOU THINK I AM IN SINCERE AND TRING TO MANIPULATE THEN DO NOT READ THEM. THIS IS THE WAY YOU SHOULD BE. ABOUT YOUR WRITING DID YOU EVER THINK THAT OTHER SEE WHAT I SEE AND WONDER IF YOUR WRITING ARE NOT WORTH THRE TIME.THERE ARE TO MANY PEOPLE WRITING TO READ EVERY THING THAT'S LIFE, WRITE SHORTERT SHORT STORYS TO GET THEM HOOK AND QUIT BEING PUSHY BECAUSE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE PUSHY BECAUSE IT WILL COME.JUST DO NOT GIVE UP. AND THAT IS MY CONSTUCTIVE CRITICISM.

Tue, September 23rd, 2014 10:05am

Author
Reply

I think I'm a little confused what this comment is supposed to mean? lol but thank you?

Tue, September 23rd, 2014 4:47pm

Mother Earth

Thank you for taking the time to welcome me to Booksie.

It has taken me a while to get to your page, and I am so pleased that I have had this opportunity to read your short story.

At first I was not sure where this was going, which is good for me as a curious reader, as it carries me on the journey rather than just being the observer.

Excellently executed! As the reveal was made the words to the song 'Greatest Love of All' gently played in the background within my mind.

There are lots of things people can take from this novel and some of the more obvious ones have been mentioned in your comments above. For me it is the elements of the universe that you brought in. Rain, being the one everyone complains about, but water plays such an important part in our lives. It wraps us up in the womb and helps to sustain us. It was lovely to see it have an important role in the story, the way it has in our lives.

I shall come back and read your novel. For now, thank you for a wonderful message.

Fri, October 10th, 2014 2:37pm

Author
Reply

Yeah no of course I always welcome new people and hope their stay here is amazing! As for the story I'm glad you enjoyed it I really wanted to portray a message that you don't need a man to feel loved you can do it yourself. You need to learn to love yourself so I felt like that would be an out of the box idea for a teen love and romance short story contest and apparently it's pretty well received and I couldn't be happier :) And yeah water is DEF important in our lives lol I'm so glad you want to read my novel as well thank you so much that just means to world to me!

Fri, October 10th, 2014 8:20am

Angie Blake

This is probably one of the best short stories I've read on Booksie in a while. You are a very talented and competent writer and this short story proves it. I wish more people could realize how wonderful there selves are and fall in love with the bad parts as well as the good!

Fri, December 26th, 2014 11:31pm

Author
Reply

I'm glad you enjoyed this story I did it for a romance competition , and I was tired of reading the same old status quo so I decided to have a story about a romance with yourself....albeit it being not as weird as it sounds. I just wanted people to realize that sometimes you don't need someone else to make you happy. You need to be happy with yourself you SHOULD be happy with yourself. So I'm really glad that thinking outside the box paid off and I'm so glad you enjoyed it :)

Mon, December 29th, 2014 10:37am

CasualProcrastinator

I can't even put in to words what I'm feeling right now. You made me fall in love with both of your characters only to bring it back around to a tale of self love. This was just fantastic. The symbolism... the idea... all of it. I can't praise you enough for this... seriously. Thank you so much for sharing.

Tue, August 11th, 2015 1:14am

Author
Reply

Wow omg seriously? That means so much to me I'm so honored you loved it! Yeah it was for a romance competition and everyone was doing the norm so I wanted to try and do something original and about self love because it's so important :) but yeah I'm speechless thank you!!

Mon, August 10th, 2015 8:23pm

ThunderousHunter

Great message. I thought the premise was wonderful, and you had some great insights into what a romance "should" look like or be. It was definitely original, in a positive, thought provoking way. My only suggestion would be for the characters to be more complicated; for the different parts of her to be more complicated as well. Great work!

Fri, August 14th, 2015 5:19am

Author
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Thank you so much for reading it means a lot to me that you enjoyed it! :)

Thu, August 13th, 2015 10:20pm

Jeff Bezaire

A great story with a beautiful concept to it! I like a good twist in a story, and this one is excellent. Loving yourself is a great message. I particularly like one of the last lines you wrote: "The rain is the tears of the world crying for us to join it." - that is a beautiful sentiment. You really captured the fear and alienation that any person of colour feels amidst a sea of white people; hearing her describe the discrimination she and her family have faced, why she doesn't like herself, her desire to be white, reminded me of things African-Americans were saying after the verdict in the Ferguson shooting - about being afraid to be black and be a woman, because of how bias society is. Those bits of the story touched me. Overall, I liked the story very much. There are a few things I noticed, though. Perhaps the opening and ending monologues would transition smoother into and out of the story if you distinguished them from the story some more - use italics font. Also, I felt there wasn't enough emphasis on Lerato being a reflection of her. She notices his similarities, but the writing doesn't make a point for the reader to pay attention to these similarities; they're put out there, and when the big reveal comes when you discover they are the same person, it almost goes over your head. This could be a creative choice, which I get, but the revelation has no buildup, which takes away from its impact. It just suddenly dawns on the character who Lerato is. Maybe have her piece the revelation together as she stares at him - dissecting his similarities to hers and realizing who he truly is. Those are my only critiques of the story. It is a wonderful piece, though, with a great message. I also like how you show some of her character in her dialogue with her choice of words. Not enough people do that these days, and it is a great touch. Hope I haven't upset you with my critiques. You are a talented writer!

Fri, August 14th, 2015 7:46pm

vijukej

This is beautiful and inspiring. You brought these characters to life and that is amazing. Not everyone possesses the skill to do that. And what's also really important is that it sends great message. After all, we are all equal. And racism has to stop :)

Wed, August 19th, 2015 6:38pm

Author
Reply

I'm SOOOOO glad you enjoyed it! It was such a risky project for me! I know there is a bunch of typos and whatnot but I really am glad that you enjoyed it :)

Wed, August 19th, 2015 11:46am

Oleg Roschin

Beautifully written, with a wealth of nuances, a wonderfully flowing dialogue, and a uniquely soft, emotionally charged narrative enveloping the reader in a dreamy, romantic atmosphere, without once descending into commonplace sentimentality. Wonderful ending as well. Excellent work!

Fri, April 29th, 2016 6:56pm

Gray Shield

I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I've haven't been able to enjoy reading as much due to clichés. I mean after awhile you just crave something new. Nothing wrong with them, but it's just eventually becomes dull to me no matter how well written it may be.You have my thanks for bringing something new to light.

Mon, September 19th, 2016 9:28pm

T. E. Jackson

I have a habit of reading old stories and commenting on them but I can't help it. If it's truly a great story, then it should never be forgotten. This was by all means a tremendously great story. Very very beautiful and well written. Very creative and imaginative as well. You took what all great people say about being equal and all beautiful and blended it into a fascinating story. Amazing job Ghost! Truly and honestly. Beauty and love have no skin color, no gender, and no age (Well that one is debatable but you get the point I think lol). If only everyone could accept this and embrace it into their lives the world would be a better place. There might still be wars and crime but no racism and hate. Thank you for writing this! Great great job.

Fri, March 31st, 2017 1:32pm

Reagle

Cool twist, maybe leave the pictures out next time as putting them in there means that we now visualize the characters as exactly those people, and those pictures do not look like one another at all, thereby ruining the message of the story.

You have a tendency to write the boy's dialogue, then on the same line write the internal thinking of the girl's dialogue. They should have been separated into different paragrahs. It confused me several times and I had to reread a few sentences.

Ther's some redundant wording such as 'brown chocolate' and sometimes you write in the past tense, then switch to the present.

Other than that it's a nice story and well written. Carry on >:]

Fri, May 5th, 2017 3:59pm

Dr. Acula

You made me cry. That's all I can say. I cried with love and I love you for making me cry.
Hope you don't mind me saying that, but damn girl.
LOVE & respect.

Sat, May 13th, 2017 3:40am

Author
Reply

Aw that honestly means so much to me thank you! I'm glad that you enjoyed it :)

Fri, May 12th, 2017 9:03pm

Brian P Baldwin

That was very nice work. I found it a bit slow at the start, however your wording and style kept me going until it started to pick up. I'm not usually drawn to this type of story, but the genuine inward thought of the character finding her self in a reflection created by water was profound. It was a strong theme making me ponder that the water creates the reflection of what we are and what we want to see. The rain brings it and washes it away. Very strong stuff.

Fri, October 20th, 2017 3:48am

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