Death is certain, but what if your soul wants to kill you sooner

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Thrillers  |  House: Booksie Classic

could explain untimely death.

2:26 June 22, 2012


Death is certain, but what if your soul wants to end it sooner.


{Somewhere I read that our brain still remains active for some time even after we die and in that time our whole life flashes in front of us…… Mine just happened to flash few seconds before I died.}

I usually don't remember the dates of many events of my life. But few I do remember because they are the one's which changed the course of my life.  August 31'1975, I remember this date because they say I was born on this date.  The other ones that I remember are as follows.

August 31' 1988. Age- 13, Kathmandu

I am standing in a stool putting a noose around my neck trying to hang myself and just before I jump off the stool my whole life flashed in front on my eyes, from my birth to the day I was about to kill myself.

I had a normal day at school today and so far my life has been ok. Few hassles, but nothing that I couldn't  handle. But when I found myself standing on a chair and about to let go, I got a soft jolt which brought me back to reality and stated to wonder why? Why was I about to kill my self?

I took the noose off my neck, loosen the rope from the fan and got off the chair and lied on my bed. I fell asleep thinking what had just happened .

 The next day was just a normal in day school. Don't even think about the last night's incident. I got back home from school, did the usual stuff…. going to my room, dropping off my bag, head downstairs to kitchen grab something to eat while watching TV. There was a show on TV which was about suicide. Someone talked about the suicidal cases and its rate in the country and the world. I was watching it without much attention. I went back to my room and got ready to do my assignments. After  an' hour or so, I got tired and as I stretched my hand and my back. I looked up at the ceiling and saw the fan. Then suddenly I remember what I was about to do last night.  I pulled my desk drawer and found  the rope that I put it in there last night. I just felt weird and started to wonder why I was about to kill myself and where did I get that rope from? I can't remember from where I got the rope. Just then mom calls me to come for dinner. In dinner we are talking about everything from world politics to general everyday stuff. But back in my mind, I'm still thinking what happened last night.

September  14' 1992, Age -17, Kathmandu

The weather was nice. The leaves had started to fall. People were jogging on the side walk. Kids were playing on their front yard. It was a pleasant fall day.  I was driving to my friends place on my motorcycle, a gift from my dad on my 17th birthday. It was a black Honda. I remember that Iwasn't speeding, I was driving slowly to enjoy the warmth of autumn sun. All of a sudden, I lost control of my bike and I fell down. I slammed my head on the stone of the side walk. I had a helmet on which saved my head from being a smashed pumpkin. I looked around my body if I had hurt myself at any other places but couldn't find any . People close by came and helped me get up and one of them even got my bike up. The bike was all right. It got few scratches and a broken indication light. I looked around to see the cause of the accident. If there were leaked oil or pebbles lying around but I couldn't find anything. I guessed that the tyre must have slipped on those fallen leaves. As I got on my bike and was about to go off one of the person from the crowd said, "You ought to take care of yourself."


February  15' 2001. Age – 27, Virginia

This was my final semester for my master's degree. One evening I went to the gym. There were few other people working out. I got on the treadmill and started to walk.  It was about 7 in the evening. After about 15 minutes, the place was almost empty. I increased the speed and its inclination little bit on the treadmill. After a while, the speed and the inclination automatically started to increases. At first, I thought some wire must have got wrong which was causing the machine to work on its own way. I started to run along and increased my speed of my running as well. But after couple of minutes it started to go really fast and steeper as well. I kept up with it for a while but I got really tired. I tried to stop it but it didn't stop. So I grabbed the handle bar and jumped off on the side and right then the machine shut down and the track slammed on its base so hard that the whole T.V and its stand in front of it slammed down on the machine. Had I still been on the machine the whole T.V set would have hit my head. I was panting and shocked to see this happen. I bent down to catch a breath. Right then from the corner of my sight I saw something moving behind me. I looked around but I didn’t see anything. So I stood up to look around. As I turned around, I saw the whole vending machine was falling down upon me. I jumped aside to save myself. I looked at the place where the vending machine was before and then on the side of the weighing scale I saw something moving. I followed it to the stand where barbells were placed and then I saw a transparent figure, like the one in predator, with its mouth wide open as if it was yelling at me. It dropped those heavy loads weights at me I again saved myself tumbling on the side. When I finally got up in firm position and looked up. I didn't see that figure. Other people came in running to see what had happened. I explained them what had happened and what I had just seen. But they just stood there looking confused and just stared at me as if I was a lunatic. As they were leaving one of them said, "You ought to take care of your self."

Next day, I went to school and I was called at the sports facility's manager's office. He asked what had happened last night? I told him and his other staff members what happened but they refused to believe my story. They gave me a scientific reason as why those weight bars fell and how the machine must have worked on its own. I argued with them for a while but it was all in vain. I asked them to show me the CCTV footage from last night. At first they refused to show it but I reasoned with them. Finally, they agreed to show me the footage. On the footage, we could only see things falling down but I could not see the image that I saw last night. But the end statement "you ought to take care of yourself" really rang my bell. I asked, "Who is that guy who said that." They just shrugged and said, "He must be someone that was working out as well." I couldn't see his face as he was facing towards me and could not be captured by the camera.  As I was leaving the office the manager told me that I may be stressed or I may be hallucinating because of my weakness. He suggested me to relax and take a break. I left his office without saying anything.

July 24' 2007, Age – 31, Massachusetts

 I was walking home from the train station. I stopped by a local convenient store to buy milk.  As  I reached a bridge. I happened to cross the road without looking right or left.  All of a sudden, I saw and found myself standing in between 2 lights of an 18 wheeler, which was about 10ft away and blaring its horn. My mind just froze right there and felt like this is the end of my life. I could not do anything. Right then I got pushed over on the side by a guy and he said," You ought to take care of yourself."

As he was about to leave after saying that. Something sprang within me and I held is hand and asked him, "We've met before, haven't we?" He looked at me smiled and said you haven't met me but you've met my kind."  I asked, "What do you mean your kind?" He said, "You can call us a messenger. We try to prevent premature death."  I asked, "Premature death, what do you mean by that?" He said," Well! you see, there are number of people in this world who kills themselves for no obvious reasons. Others will/may think it was an accident or a case of suicide, but it's not. It's solely an action of your soul, which for some reason is not happy being trapped inside your body. Therefore it wants you dead so that it can move out of your body." I just couldn't believe what he just said. So I asked, "What?" Then he said, "Look, if I stay here and try explaining all this to you, you're just going to ask me lot of questions and sitting here and spending all that time with you will result with someone else's untimely death. Just try to connect with your soul and find a solution." and he just disappeared.

I just sat there thinking, was that just a fragment of my imagination or did it really happen. "My soul wants to kill me." Why? And how do I get in touch with my soul? How would I communicate with it?

Well now years have passed and I haven't been able to connect with my soul but at the same time I haven't even tried to kill myself. But don't know when my soul will make another attempt and don't even know if my savior messenger will be around to save me that time. Let's jut hope that the messenger doesn't stay with some one little longer than he/she is supposed to.

Submitted: January 25, 2013

© Copyright 2021 shakya1998. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Alex Watts

the concept of this is really good!

Fri, January 25th, 2013 6:14pm


Thanx Alex.

Fri, February 1st, 2013 11:52pm

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