Hey Dude, I know this is going to seem totally weird, but I’m seriously missing you. The Christmas party with the hot air ballooning crowd was horrid without you there. No one was sitting with me making up stories about the odd partners the guys had brought along, and you know the guys are useless at dancing. Then your stupid mate with the roving paws kept cornering me, it was revolting, that guy totally gives me the shivers. Hate it. So I left early, and that got me annihilated on Facebook, the group was off sides in my opinion. I’m not going to renew my subs this year. Oh, ja, this year, HAPPY 2013. How was your New Year celebration? Mine was the most underplayed, non celebrated New Year I’ve ever had. I think I have officially crossed the line and entered old age!
It’s so wrong, I should be out partying and meeting and greeting and all that stuff, but I’m so not keen. I need you around to get me going, the people left behind are useless, and the other lots are now married. There are like 3 more kids on the way, it frightens the living daylights out of me with all the little versions of our mates running around. Too weird.
Remember that conversation we had about purpose and existentialism? Well, it was more of an argument that distanced us for a couple of months… but anyway, the supervisor of the block randomly comes up to me and says how surreal she is feeling because she feels out of place, like her soul is somewhere else and her body is just existing. That is completely what I was on about… and knowing that my soul does belong somewhere else and not on earth. I got what she meant, to my core… I’m thinking there may just be other people who feel like that too. Happiness has become something I now associate with deluded, imaginational besottenment, when the mind slips out of reality and thinks it is in love. Which brings me to a positive story; finally, my dreams aren’t being haunted by jerk anymore. Happy days… my friend reckons 2013 is the year of miracles, so I guess I’ve had my little miracle… it was totally empowering, because in my night dreams I’ve always been searching for him or following him or resting in his embrace, but this year I walked away three times. So that must mean my subconscious is realising that the matter no longer has a hold, Yay! I tried another date with a friend of a friend and, Dude, it was such a mission. Getting conversation out of him was like trying to get snow out of the Sahara Desert! What am I going to have to do to get men to open their mouths and speak anything around me? ugh… but at least I’m making an effort.
Oh, I ran into your mother in the shopping centre… why is she under the impression that we are seeing each other? She invited me around to Christmas Eve dinner with your family…hmmm, explanation please.
When are you coming home to annoy me again and get me irritated? Everything is running mundanely like any other day of any other year in the last few years… ugh… do people even realise that they repeat themselves annually in so many ways that the body could be on automatic and no one would know? Let me know when we can debate and get all philosophical over red wine again… I need one of those nights again.
BIGGEST HUGS and Blessings, Angel
© Copyright 2016 Shannan Browne. All rights reserved.