To love or be loved? that is the question.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
to love or be loved?

Submitted: June 11, 2008

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Submitted: June 11, 2008

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I really love him, I really do. I can feel it in my heart and soul, because every time I look at him, every time I see him in the hall at school, I sigh and think about how much I do love him. And not knowing if he has any feelings for me.....at all.
It hurts so much, to know, to look at him day in and day out to know that I will never know how he feels, to know if somewhere deep down he loves me.
If I could just know, if he could just tell me once, I would be the happiest person in the world. But it doesn’t work that way. I keep telling myself over and over again in my head the there is no way that this could be love, aside from the feelings of loathing and jealousy I have for every girl who goes near him, that all the feelings of butterfly’s that come when I see him is not love…..it cant be. Im only a freshman, im only 14. But there is people who find there soul mate even younger than me….right?
 But even so, both parties love each other, not just one of them.
 GOSH! I feel like Scarlet from gone with the wind. I love Ashley so much that I would do anything, be anything for him. I would kill, I would slave, I would go all over the state for him. And all this time be so blinded that I wouldn’t even know if someone else loved me, wouldn’t even care if I had a red butler for myself, wouldn’t care if he loved me so much, give me anything just to get the same amount of love back. All I care about is Ashley, and one day I would realize it isn’t true love, and I was in love with red, but by then it would be too late, and I wouldn’t have my chance. I would have a sad ending instead of a happy one. But tomorrow is another day, isn’t it?
 I feel like I love this person, sometimes wish I didn’t. I sometimes wish I had never met him. And my heart wouldn’t be gone.
 He has my heart with him. Forever and for always. No matter whom I meet and who I marry. I will always love one of my best friends. Always wish I knew; always wish that I knew if he loved me too.
 Well maybe in some parallel universe, we are happy and in love with each other. Well, just maybe. Who knows  what the future holds for tomorrow, and tomorrow could be what im looking for. Who knows, I could still have my happy ending. To love or be loved. That is the question, as I always say. In other words. Is it worth it to love someone that doest love you? Or to be with some one who loves you, and your not sure, never will be sure if you love them?
 Love is a crazy mixed up thing, isn’t it?


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