REASON TO TRY

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
I tried so hard but somehow good enough doesn't exist

Submitted: October 24, 2015

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Submitted: October 24, 2015

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I thought it was s lie, I finally there was proof, You ruined us boo boo, Somehow i feel you did it intentionally , There this things you do that push people away, I struggled to make it work, Where does that leave me, It was was comforting to know, you were c*******but it was a guess, Then you put it right there, I can hear you asking for forgiveness, How many times would you have done it, I gather it was a difficult time, You thought of hurting me instead, Its as if all you do is hurt me, I leave boo boo Find comfort with her, Let me hurt again, That is what the men in my life do, They hurt me and leave, For a long time i have prayed for us, I ask God to give me a sign if its okey, Then you take her , Do you want us to die, You want her to remain an orphan. How am i supposed to look you in the eye, All that we built was a lie, Building of kingdoms, Leaving love behind, It hurts so much hurts... You never thought of how i would feel, Mine are meaningless emotions, It doesnt matter what they are, I couldnt wait to look at you, Because maybe all these while you wanted me to leave, You didnt know how to tell me, You fooled me with peacans , With icream and dinners, Was there me and you, Was it a horrible lie, I cant muffle the groanings of my heart, Maybe 'mshikaji 'was real after all, Now it hurts even more, \"She will be here tomorrow morning\" I was the fool in the equation, Let's begin where we started, Zero feelings, Total strangers, That is where you wanted, Now lets begin there, Thats one year down the drain, I hope part of it was not a lie, I pray it wasnt a lie, Now am where I started, Emotionally wretched, Like a frozen tundra with no hope for warmth, Am trying to shove it all down my throat, Am bitter,am disapointed ,frustrated devasted,i feel deceived i feel confused, I thought we would make better parents than ours, Look at us now, We are messed, We lost it,

I will sleep better if i would know we were great, You gave that away, What hurts more is that you were willing to do it again and again, I dont know what to feel anymore, Its just too much, Am content i tried, I wanted to give up sometimes, I held on because i knew we would work it out, Now give me a reason to try ever again.

But you threw all that for those episodes.


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