Dud and the Battle of Plastic

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Dud...for your entertainment

Submitted: July 05, 2012

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Submitted: July 05, 2012

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The day had begun in its usual humdrum manner until an article had been read in the local paper advertising a ' Day of Family Entertainment' which led to a day out being feverishly planned and perfect timing also as the youngest Grandson was staying over for the weekend, the weather forecast was checked and although there had been alot of rain overnight the forecast for the day was extremely good, so sandwiches were hastily made, homemade cake cut into individual pieces and wrapped in reams of tin foil, flasks of tea and coffee were made and were all packed into the picnic basket within the hour which was loaded into the car along with a blanket and plastic groundsheet.

?On reaching the destination it was noticed that the days activity of re-enactment of various battles throughout history were to be held in a natural area with gentle sloping banks which would provide a perfect viewing platform, so with picnic basket in one hand and blanket and plastic sheet tucked under the other arm the leader and party of two gingerly made their way up the still somewhat wet sloping bank and with the progressing years and dodgy hips that cursed two of the party it was no mean feat!, picking their way up slowly through the much earlier risers who had secured a decent viewing spot...finally a perfect spot was reached right near the very top of the bank and which provided perfect viewing all around.

?The picnic basket was set down and the blanket was shook vigorously and laid out, the ground was now virtually dry so it was decided there wasn't any need for the plastic sheet underneath for the time being, 'her indoors' plonked herself down in the middle of the blanket whilst youngest Grandson wandered around excitedlyawaiting the start of the show, there wasn't long to wait before the tanoy system echoed around the arena, no one had any idea what was being said because the wind scooped the voice up and carried it over to the other side of the bank, it must have signaled the start of the battles however because people there began to clap.

?The noise and thrill of it all was tremendous and was all very realistic producing lots of "ooooo's" and "aaaaaa's" from the crowd, about half way into the display a few drops of rain began to fall, slowly and gently at first then with a little more vigour and became more persistent,which produced a sea of umbrellas and improvised rain hats, it wasn't long however before the dark clouds dissipatedand were replaced by lovely white fluffy ones with the sun just peeping from behind them, being as the picnic blanket had now been claimed by two of the party it was agreed that the plastic sheet could be used by the remaining person who had been standing for some time but now felt the dodgy hip needed a rest,?The plastic sheet was carefully unwrapped and laid out on the ground and with much effort and puffing and panting there was finally a dry place to sit.

?However...the fact the grass was quite wet really didn'thelp and the fact a few extra pounds had been gained over the years really ?reallydidn't help..and then much to the surprise of Dud and everyone around the sheet plus its passenger began to take off down the slope, slowly at first but quickly gaining momentum causing people to dive out of the way of the fast approaching oap who was now wafting his arms wildly about in a vain attempt to slow down his decent, 'comb overs' do not fare well at speed either and the few long grey hairs he actually had remaining were now standing proudly to attention atop of a shiny bald head.

?The wafting of the arms sadly didn't work, nor did all the expletives and high pitched screams and when Dud finally reached the bottom he finished off the move with a forward roll that any schoolchild on sports day would have been proud of, his glasses were askew but intact and he was half wrapped in plastic but aside from that he escaped relatively unscathed and he even received a round of rapturousapplause from onlookers.

?The reception from 'her indoors' was a little less welcoming after the lang haul back up the slope had been made and he was greeted with a "what did you do that for? fancy showing me up" snarled through gritted teeth...but at least youngest Grandson was impressed and he jumped up and down excitedlyclapping his hands with glee and exclaimed "ohhhhh Grandad that was brill!, would you do it again, please? pleeeeease?"


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