Possessed Peas and Thunder

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A shopping trip with a difference....

Submitted: July 04, 2012

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Submitted: July 04, 2012

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I promised myself I would never set foot in here again yet here I was after many requests and so called good reasons given for having to be there, stepping inside hoping no one would remember our last visit..I told myself it all happened months ago so surely it would be ok?...

As I walked some way behind two elderly figures, I could hear the excited chatter, the odd high pitched whistle and peals of laughter ringing out, sensing all the the fun that was bound to follow, I'm sure if they could have both held hands and skipped along sucking lollipops with cheeky grins on their faces they would have done! All the items on display in the store came under their usual scrutiny with each and every piece they homed in on inducing a lovely tale and conjuring up bygone memories for them both, usually accompanied with the cries of "Ohh they don't make these like they used to" and "back in our day...." something must have prompted a memory of an item that was urgently needed because at that point i was asked to add to the never ending shopping list 'A tin of Possessed Peas' now I did think of correcting it but it sounded so much more exciting than 'processed' ...I then realised a familiar sound was filling the air and noticed some of the assistants giving one another knowing looks, it seemed our last visit had indeed been remembered..

Continuing on as swiftly as possible we made our way deeper and deeper into the store, I found myself wishing that the cookbook that was so desperately needed by one of the ladies was quickly found so we could make our exit, I had wondered if this was maybe the time yet again to suggest a visit to the hearing aid store to replace an old worn out whistling one that im sure could have been tuned into radio 2 had it been twiddled with enough! but I decided to wait until I was able to explain properly instead of attempting improvised sign language which hadn't gone down too well last time and resulted in my resembling a manic whistling woman who had an annoying itch in her ear..

After what seemed like an eternity of searching we finally located the cookbook section and by the time we had found Delia Smith who sat nestled on the bottom shelf grinning out from the front cover holding aloft some stunning culinary creation (I did wonder if it contained possessed peas) I think most of the?Trumpet Voluntary? had beenplayed? which had got louder and more frequent the further into the store we went...oh no! the fact said book was on the bottom shelf meant the 'hitch theskirt up to expose the frilly edge of bloomers and expel any air that had not been fortunate to escape previously' move, the effort of these actions alone being worthy of an Olympic medal!..AND there it was...that final pocket of air that had been waiting for that last effort of exertion, the one that reverberated around the store, the one that was the loudest of all,the one that lasted a minute at the very least, the one that induced tears of hysteria to my eyes and a final very loud statement from the perpetrator..."ohh did you hear that? I think a storm must be brewing it sounded like thunder and it was real close, best get your rain hat ready Eileen"

?The reason i promised myself never to set foot in here again?.....A delightful elderly lady who was virtually deaf and had severe problems with excess gas but why she she worry or care?...she could barely hear it.


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