Why do we sometimes judge the ones we love, with the past that is behind us?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic

Why do we sometimes judge the ones we love, with the past that is behind us? The title says it all...read to discover.

Why do we sometimes judge the ones we love, with the past that is behind us?

That past which is dead………..Is it fair to the other person? Is it fair on yourself? No. It is not. It never will be. Accept this my friend, for acceptance is the key to your liberation. 

Who the hell are you to judge someone else? Who gave you the authority to judge something or someone – whose creation, whose birth, whose looks, whose behaviour had nothing to do with you? You can only appreciate art, my friend! The only thing you can control or should ever control is yourself – your thoughts, your happiness. You can only cheer people up or make them sad. You cannot eat for them. You cannot learn for them. You cannot decide for them.

You have only two choices or two roads. One road is cheering someone; the other is hurting or giving pain to someone. Whenever you meet a stranger in life, you will have to choose the road. One road will take you inside the warmth of their hearts; the other will lead you to the desert of loneliness. What you choose may or may not work out as you anticipated, but what road you choose tells a lot about who you are, what is inside of you. A wise man once told me that a good tree gives good fruits. A bad tree gives bad fruits. A bad tree can never give good fruit and a good tree can never give bad fruit.

I agree that the ones we love hurt us the most. You agree with me don’t you? Hmmmm ….It is because you have not solved something within yourself, because you have not learnt that true love is unconditional. True love doesn’t judge or control. True love only supports. True love only inspires and true love never ends. If you are not comfortable with who you are, you can’t even love yourself. And till you don’t love yourself, how can you possibly love someone else. You can only give what you have.

Try wearing your daddies oversize shoes for a day, or try wearing your dog’s collar for a day. Better still; try wearing your sister’s overtight slacks or your brother’s stretched boxers. Just for one whole day.  I can’t hear you, my friend? You are saying something. Speak a little louder.

You are finding them uncomfortable, really? “It doesn’t fit”, “it is ridiculous”, “I look like a fool”. You say “what will people think of me?” Then why do you let your past define who you are today….IT IS NO DIFFERENT.

You walk feeling ashamed, guilty, and with fear every day because of the sour tasting experience of hurt you received long ago. Even chapters end, stories end, books end…..so that new chapters are written, new books are created…….but sadly your pitiful story is never ending. You don’t have the authority to judge yourself even, because you had nothing or no part to play in your own creation. You can only appreciate art and feel it and accept it.

Man has forgotten to appreciate art. He cannot see and appreciate the art made by the greatest artist in this whole world, the artist that made him or her. A rich man’s clothing is no match for the suits he puts on kingfishers, macaws, toucans and the flowers. His art is free for all. I love his art so I admire myself whenever possible. Feeling unloved, uncared, and unworthy is disregarding his skills. There are many who disregard his skills and they are the one who are still struggling and in pursuit of the illusion of happiness.

So is it fair on yourself? Absolutely not. Remove the uncomfortable mask of hurt from the past and try to feel the wind touching your face and your skin with its fingers and arousing your inner being to play with life. HOW to remove the mask? Very simple………….JUST LET GO….throw it all out….stop thinking about it. You will need the crutch of repetition for some days. Remember hurt, frustration and regret is like a quicksand trying to swallow your existence. But if your heart desires love and happiness strongly…then hold on to the tendrils of faith, determination and hope and in no time you will be back to normal. It is no different than treating a small cold or flu virus.

Wait! Wait! You don’t pass this class so easily my friend.  Every class has a final test or examination that lets you move on further in life. The test is straight forward. Whenever you get knocked down, or someone cheats you or uses you, or blames you without fault……JUST OBSERVE YOUR REACTION. Whenever life squeezes you, see what comes out?

If you start to get angry and start worrying, cursing yourself…..then you have failed for the past still has you on its permanent rolls. On the other hand if you just laugh, convert this entire incident into a chapter or lesson and read it. You forgive the other person and yourself and your peace and happiness remain unshaken…………then you will have mastered this class of views. You will have mastered the lesson that what you think of yourself is more important than what others think of you. Only then will you have aced the lesson on purpose of equality – that you have equal right to be happy just like everyone else because we all are the same and equal. You will have understood why setting boundaries and saying NO is an important shield that protects.

Remember what one does or what one says is always in his or her self-interest. So do you, for you are no different. Understand this, my friend, for when you truly do, you will never have a reason to hold a grudge.

Holding a grudge, hurt, grief from the past is like walking through life with a dead carcass on your back. Of course it is going to hurt, because it is heavy. Of course it is going to stink, because it is rotting. Don’t be ashamed! My friend! It is ok and a must to make mistakes and get hurt. Mistakes teach, winning doesn’t. You only enjoy the moment you win. If you don’t know what you don’t want how will you ever know what you really want?

Can you find beauty in pain? Many can’t. But pain lets you know that you are alive. A dead man never feels pain.

Be who you are and love yourself first. FLY stands for first love yourself. Now you know why birds fly. And look ahead…there; can you see someone approaching you? Look! Look! It is that perfect soulmate you were always looking for. Your soulmate is just like you, comfortable with who they are and they love themselves. No surprise, they can finally see you now!


Submitted: April 04, 2015

© Copyright 2020 Shivraj Singh. All rights reserved.

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