Drowning the sound of the rain by increasing the volume of the song she was listening to, she began thinking as to what to type. One, she has been out of touch for sometime. Two, she never really thought she was good at it. Three, she never gets enough ideas to progress with the story or whatever she was working on. Four, she thought it was enough with the excuses already and decided to just get down to business.
She may not be good at it, but then again, writing isn't about writing to impress others or proving how good you are at it or how beautiful you have written your piece with an exuberant amount of bombastic words whether it was relevant to tell the story in that manner at the first place. Writing was about penning down (or on her case, typing) what was in her mind. Her heart. A projection of honest thoughts. Real. Atleast that's what she thought writing was about.
Realism was extremely important to her. But that doesn't mean she ditches fantasies and all, No. Realism to her was writing what was in your mind at that point of the time, without thinking much about how others are going to like it. Taking 15 minutes to write a line was not perfectionism. To her that was simply to boost another person's impression about yourself which shouldn't be the case when it comes to writing.
A fantasy written with realism is beautiful. Whether it makes sense or not, it was real. One may choose to like it or not, but writing what you feel with your heart is of utmost importance to her.
That's why she liked reading blogs. Another side of the person image, or in other words, an alter-ego. While most people say that bloggers boast or show off their daily events, happenings, social-life, heartbreaks, and label them as cowards for not being able to confront with their issues, how many of us are actually brave enough to sit and write down what's actually happening to us?
Which is better? having some form of venting system or being oblivious to a situation which needs obvious help? She's not one for judging either ways. Again, she's just saying what's on her mind. To her atleast, writing wasn't something that flowed naturally. It takes patience, practise and the courage to accept criticism (if you're looking for any).
She remembers how she used to be in awe of her friends who wrote beautifully. To be perfectly honest, that, in one way or another inspired her to begin writing. The first few times were difficult. Merely because she always had the thought of outdoing others or never do it at all. Which really was an idiotic thought thinking how much she could have learned if she kept on writing. But she realised something about her. She was never one of those who needed a pen and paper to write. She was one of those who write even better if typing. She liked the feeling of her fingers pressing against the keyboard, moving with a steady speed. The sound it produced somehow empowered her. She felt like one of those business people, working hard to pin down an important project. It gave her a sense of control. Being in control.
Also, she was one who wrote when she was emotionally affected. She believes that she writes best then. It was as if all those emotions were channeled into this one vacuum of thought she could present. Maybe writing was not one of her natural-born gift, but it's not really about being good at it. It was more of the feeling it gave her.
And she knew then it was a good feeling.
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