Life

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Have you ever felt so broken that the need to write instead of talking comes to mind? Not everyone wants to see or moreless hear what is wrong in your life, but a simple story can make someone feel stronger for themselves.

Submitted: December 25, 2016

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Submitted: December 25, 2016

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Have you ever been so down that you become secluded in your own little zone that nothing else really matters regardless of your surroundings? I find myself in this little "world" for most of my day. I seem to find myself answering the questions others ask me with only shortened responses such as, "yes", "no", and other unfriendly responses. It seems rude or unlike myself to answer in such a short manner that sometimes I find myself so secluded that I don't answer at all, I just simply stare in a confused nature in which it makes the other party feel uncomfortable, so uncomfortable that they just stop talking (most of the time, but sometimes it doesn't work). Other parts of my day, when I am particularly not in my own space, I find myself unusually emotional or becoming agitated at the smaller things in life.

A little background about myself for you: I am a 21 year old female with two very young children and they are ages 2 1\2 and 9 months. I am a single parent and currently residing with my mother and two brothers, both of which are 18 and 16, and my life is horrific. I am a full time employee at an amazing workplace. Although many people would classify my life as luxury, it is FAR from such as that. As crazy as it seems, I often find myself using work as some sort of happy place, I believe that is so because I constantly stay busy in which I can not have bad thoughts on my mind. When I am alone, I often find myself turnig off my lights and television and proceed to sit in the dark and complete silence for hours on in. Most people anticipate to explain that the darkness is a door opening and all my bad thoughts coming out and rushing in at me all at once, but as that happens I can never seem to proceed to get up and turn my lights back on.

I do not write to recieve gratitude, help or anything of that nature. Many classify my symptoms as depression and that medicine can help, but anyone with my symptoms will explain that is easier said then offcially done. Most depressed human beings want help but we do not want to proceed to medication or drugs, we simply cry out our issues and hope for the best. I simply help myself by writing and posting my unfortunate feelings in hopes that one day someone can read my stories or notes and only see me as someone strong enough to overcome the stereotype of depressed people and prove that depression WILL NOT overcome my being and I will fight back and win !! Anyone can win the battle of depression, but it takes a true solider to fight back for not only yourself but also for others to.  


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